Hey, Mom! Talking to my Mother #10 - Calculus - Test #1

Hey, Mom! Talking to my Mother #10 - Calculus - Test #1

Hi Mom,

I may very well fail my Calculus class. I am pretty sure that I failed my first test, which I took yesterday, especially given that I was able to devote about zero (very close to zero, which is a thing in Calculus called a Limit) time to studying. In fact, so confident was I that I would fail, that I almost decided to not go to class yesterday and take the test. But then, I am aiming to at least achieve near perfect (I know one day I will miss) attendance, and so I decided to go. My next fear was that I would not be able to even attempt any of the problems, and so I would submit a blank test, which is about the same as not showing up. But then, I managed to write something down for each problem. I tried. I am not sure if any of it is right, but I tried, and I did so without trying to leverage your death for sympathy points as I have not told my professor of your passing.

Why am I taking Calculus? Well, that's the plan, right? I am back to school for computer science and Calculus is required. After how I struggled with Pre-Calculus, I decided that I should take Calculus by itself, so it is my only class, and I can give it my whole focus. Well aware that a summer session moves at double time, I felt that with the help of a tutor I am paying, the help of the tutoring lab, and some hard work, I would be able to conquer Calculus and earn the grade I need (which needs to be better than my Pre-Calculus grade).

My prof compared Summer session to drinking water from a fire hose, and this is a bit how I have felt so far.

Yes, I thought about dropping the class, and here's why I didn't. I figure I may well fail. But since WMU regards me as an undergraduate, any F grade will be replaced by the new grade when I retake the course. If I get through this course and fail (or earn too low of a grade), I will know more when I retake Calculus, and maybe I can do it in the more leisurely Winter semester. No biggie.

So, Mom, remember how I told you that you timed your death well in terms of choosing a time I had a reduced work load? Maybe you even were waiting until I got back from Scotland and that's why when I was showing you all those pictures from our trip, you kept saying "I am glad you're back" over and over. Did you know? Did you really time this event? I like to think you did. It would fit how you did things.

Well, even with your good timing, I did not calculate how your passing would affect me and affect my ability to study. I am all right, but all right is a relative term. I have not shut down, curled into a fetal position, and stopped eating or showering. I am functional. But my "all right" status is difficult to define. It's much like "all right" is a limit to value that cannot be reached, like dividing by zero.

I am undefined at zero.

Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.

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- Days ago = 11 days ago

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1507.15 - 9:00