Hey, Mom! The Explanation.

Here's the permanent dedicated link to my first Hey, Mom! post and the explanation of the feature it contains.

Also,

Thursday, July 31, 2025

A Sense of Doubt blog post ##3817 - THEORIES CLASS - Counseling - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy


A Sense of Doubt blog post ##3817 - THEORIES CLASS - Counseling - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Another of my assignments and that's all.
I am buried in work.
Thanks for tuning in.



Week Six - Main Discussion - COUN6722 -

Cognitive Behavioral or Rational Emotive Behavioral

Case Conceptualization

 

Theory: - Cognitive Behavioral - Case of Mike

 

Presenting Problem: A fourteen-year-old Asian American male, Mike has been referred for counseling by his math teacher due to low grades. Mike is withdrawn and shows signs of anxiety and depression. Mike reports that his father verbally abuses him for his grades and a “lazy American teenage attitude.” Mike has agreed to counseling to help his family and find a way to live up to his father’s expectations. Mike is also bullied at school and has no close friendships at school. Mike enjoys working on cars with his one friend, a seventeen-year-old high-school dropout, with whom he might like to open an auto shop, something of which his father disapproves. Mike feels inadequate and isolated because he does not want to be an engineer like his father, and he feels responsible for the tension in his household.

 

Hypothesis: Mike has internalized his father’s harsh criticism for his low math grades causing his feelings of isolation and inadequacy. He sees his interest in auto work as a failure of his father’s expectations for him to be an engineer further perpetuating his feelings of inadequacy. The cycle of verbal abuse from his father and Mike’s isolation has become a “conditioned response” resulting in “cognitive distortions” and negative core beliefs (Shaw & Green, 2022, pg.195-199).

 

Goals: The primary goals for Mike are to learn to cope with or even eliminate negative core beliefs internalized from his father’s verbal abuse. Through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mike will be able to identify and challenge his negative thoughts and learn coping skills that will reduce his anxiety and self-perception of inadequacy. If successful, Mike will have greater social interest and better self-image. These dysfunctional behaviors or irrational beliefs could be changed or disrupted by changing Mike’s cognition. Through “functional behavioral assessment,” Mike can be taught to track the ABCs of his situation – “antecedents, behaviors, and consequences” – to understand what is “sustaining the behavior” and change these “maladaptive patterns” (Shaw & Green, 2022, pg.201).

 

Interventions:

 

Cognitive Defusion: To address Mike’s negative thoughts about himself, the counselor will guide Mike through the “leaves on a stream” technique, a third-wave technique in acceptance and commitment therapy, that falls within the broad category of CBT (Shaw & Green, 2022, pg.204). The counselor will encourage Mike to practice the activity outside of the session. The counselor will debrief with Mike after each use of the technique in session to emphasize how he will train his mind to “not get caught up in negative thinking” but to observe negative thoughts and continue to live with the positive values of the present moment (Shaw & Green, 2022, pg.204). Through use of debriefing with Socratic questioning, the counselor will help Mike to feel more comfortable experiencing negative thoughts and yet decrease their believability and frequency. For instance, by asking Mike “What is the worst thing that could happen,” Mike may feel that this is his father following through in his threat to kick him out of the house. With continued questioning, the counselor can lead Mike to identify the underlying negative core belief – perhaps “I will have nowhere to go and be homeless” (unlikely as Mike is a minor) – and then helping Mike to adapt and focus on positive outcomes (Rosenthal, 2017, pg. 655) to cope with fears about this worst case scenario.

 

Self-Monitoring Thought Record: The counselor will teach Mike to increase his awareness of how his automatic thoughts have emotional/behavioral consequences. This activity will be another homework assignment for Mike to focus on adaptive responses when experiencing triggers by increasing his awareness of his negative thoughts and helping him intervene before they perpetuate his feelings of isolation, inadequacy, and anxiety. As Shaw & Green (2022) explained citing J.S. Beck (2021) client’s language, such as “I feel that I am a failure” – something Mike may say – reflect thoughts and not feelings. By “detailed use of the thought record” (pg. 203), Mike can identify these thoughts to develop adaptive responses for positive outcomes. For instance, if “feeling like a failure” results in the emotion of insecurity (feeling inadequate), the adaptive response can be focusing Mike on parts of his life that are not failures, such as working on cars with his one friend.

 

Expected Outcome: If Mike is successful with the interventions in coping with his negative thoughts, his anxiety and isolation should diminish, he will feel better about himself, and he will be able to resist internalizing his father’s negativity. Mike should feel less isolated and better able to navigate abusive situations both with his father and the bullies at school. As John Krumboltz explained in the “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” video from Psychotherapy.net, he said “we [CBT counselors] are results-oriented. We want to help people improve, and we want to do it as quickly and easily as possible. And we want to keep learning to do it better and better (1:30:45-59). These interventions should help Mike achieve the therapeutic goals as quickly and easily as Kromboltz suggests.

 

 

References

Psychotherapy.net. (Producer). (1997a). Cognitive behavioral therapy with John Krumboltz. [Video file]. Mill Valley, CA: Author.

Rosenthal, H. (2017). Encyclopedia of counseling: Master review and tutorial for the National Counselor Examination, state counseling exams, and the Counselor Preparation Comprehensive Examination (4th ed.). Routledge.

Shaw, S. & Green, J. (2022). Cognitive-Behavioral theories. In D. Capuzzi & M. D. Stauffer (Eds.), Counseling and psychotherapy: Theories and interventions (7th ed., pp. 193-216). American Counseling Association.


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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2507.31 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3682 days ago & DAD = 336 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

Wednesday, July 30, 2025

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3816 - SoD Reprint of #1095 from 2018 - Throwback, Photos, PENULTIMATE HEY MOM #1095


A Sense of Doubt blog post #3816 - SoD Reprint of #1095 from 2018 - Throwback, Photos, PENULTIMATE HEY MOM #1095

So, another reprint, and then another Sunday, but two school posts in between. On Saturday, a post for Ryne Sandberg who died Monday.

I am at low power but not officially low power mode.

Writing a 47-page research project quite shell-shocked me. Long day on Sunday to finish it. Of course, it didn't need to be 47 pages. It didn't even need to 17 pages. But I learned a lot writing it and feel it's a very in-depth investigation of what I was asked to write, which was analyzing four events from my life from a developmental science perspective. All of that effort, especially Friday-Sunday, left me spent, and I have not done a whole lot on Monday or Tuesday of this week. So, easy posts were a good choice. Plus, I posted five blog posts yesterday to social media, even though I had two of them published already.

This reprint is the PENULTIMATE daily HEY MOM post, meaning that #1096 was the last consecutive daily HEY MOM, which I ended after three years of consecutive posting.

I wrote about some of these things here:

Friday, July 4, 2025

and

Monday, July 7, 2025

I am rather proud of my blog, and especially of the three years of consecutive HEY MOM posts. Doing that, really helped me find a way for my life to contain the grief of losing my Mom. I continue that work now following the death of Dad, coming up on one year ago.

One thing I do that helps is the daily count of days since my parents died.

Mom's count is up to 3681 days as of today, though that counts the day of her death and today's date as well as I explain above in post #3793.

However, Dad's count -- #335 -- is marching toward that one year mark. I realized when I looked at the number today one of the ways I cope with that count. When the count was low, I could assure myself that it just happened, he just died, not that long ago. As the count grows, and soon it will reach 365, I understand that I do the count, I watch the count, to come to accept the reality of this loss. In a sense the loss both grows with that number and lessens. It grows in the sense of how long I am living without Mom or Dad (or both), and it lessens the intense pain of the experience as the farther I get from it, the more accepting I am of it.

Also, as I watch the months progress, a part of me is comforted by how "it is not August yet." I literally say that to myself. Even today, just two days from August, I can still say it. I will say it tomorrow. And then it will be August, and that's the month in which Dad died. And then the new thing will be not yet in the August 20s. Still weeks away. And then, it will be August 28th, the day itself. And that might be a difficult day.

Anyway, thanks for tuning in.

On to today's cool reprint.

BTW, the photo (above and below) was taken through a window that looked into a pool at some hotel. My Dad was not under water with a water-proof camera.


The original link to the post I am reprinting below:

Thursday, July 5, 2018



Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1095 - Throwback Thursday for 1807.05

Hi Mom,

Tomorrow will be the last of the daily transmissions of Hey Mom. I am continuing Hey Mom as a feature but mostly just twice a week unless special occasions or inspirations necessitate more.

But today, somewhat chatty. And then a reprint with a lot of Mom photos.

As I shared yesterday, I feel closest to you in nature, Mom, mainly because I feel close to the spiritual there. The nature here in our new home is even more deeply spiritual and older than that of Michigan, though this is surely just a feeling that's not based in accuracy. Mountains inspire thoughts of the age of the earth and our brief time here as humans compared to the overall length of the planet's history thus far.

So, Liesel and I took two hikes lately: Sunday down in the Tillamook State Forest along the Wilson River Trail, with the dogs, which is a bit challenging, and then yesterday, Wednesday, July 4th, around Coldwater Lake at the base of Mt. St. Helens, without the dogs. I would have liked to be on the hike at the time of your death, but we couldn't even make it there by the equivalent time in this time zone, (10:10 a.m.) let alone being on the trail at 7:10 a.m. We're not morning exercise people.

But one good thing is that we're jazzed to take more hikes. Maybe as soon as this weekend. We also want to go Kayaking.

In other news, the Tigers lost both of their games to the Cubs in Wrigley, and apparently back east, near our old home, it's really hot. People were suffering from heat exhaustion. I could have elected to stay home yesterday to watch the game, but I didn't want to be home on the anniversary of your death, Mom. I want to be out living life, being active, having fun. It's what you want for me. I feel it.

In other other news, things are progressing slowly. I did not make as much progress with job search or coding while on breaks from Park and CTU as I would have liked. But I am undaunted. I will keep at it.

Just basically daily chores take a lot of time -- errands, kitchen clean up, watering the lawn and plants, dog care (walks), trash, laundry, and really, I need to find time to do some more cleaning rather than just spot cleaning; I pick up clumps of dog hair when I see them.

I also wanted to assemble my bike -- front tire was removed in the move -- and take it for a spin.

Beyond that, there's not much to report. I am reading as much as I can and have time for. Comic books are a solace. I am reading Nick Harkaway's Gnomon in the traditional way, and I am almost done with Stephen King's latest -- The Outsider -- as my audio book.

Also, I am trying to sit outside for one-three hours a day when the sun is high in the sky and my back porch is actually shady. Today I plan to do some coding while sitting out there.

I have been trying to get more work done during the week, so I have less to do on the weekend. I don't like putting in major hours on the weekend, especially Sunday.

I took off Wednesday from work completely, 100%. I did not check my classes and did zero work. This kind of break rarely happens.

I am not sure what I am going to write tomorrow for the last daily, consecutive Hey Mom post. But I do know that I will be back next week to continue our conversation, Mom, and with some new photos (back to series one).

Did I mention that I am going back to Michigan in August? I am. More on that later. I need to start creating my schedule.

So for now, a reprint of one of my better photo galleries. Lots of variety here.

From -

http://sensedoubt.blogspot.com/2017/01/hey-mom-talking-to-my-mother-544-2016.html

Mom looking all Jackie K in convertible
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #544 - 2016, the blog that was, Mom Photos, the other years in pictures - clearing out my folder

Hi Mom,

It's 2017, which marks the start of a second year with out you.

I am clearing out my folder and in a mode of pictures only.

Here's a celebration to you, including pictures of many of your things still in place at the condo you shared with Dad: your cooks books and your cat picture wall.

I love you.

Mom and Dad 39th Wedding Anniversary

MOM and Dad - APX Christmas Formal 5612.14

MOM and Dad - APX Christmas Formal 5712.14

Mom and Dad Cub's Fish Roast 1998

Mom and Delbridge family 11-10-1991

Mom and Grandpa Delbridge 5-23-1998
Mom and us with friends in Wales June 1986


Mom at Turkeyville 2011

Mom Birthday 1998

Mom birthday 1999

Mom birthday dinner Claras BC 10-96

Mom coming down aisle to marry Dad 1958

Mom Lori and Dad 10-9-98-RBT pinned Lori Oshtemo Rotary


Mom Merle Norman Ad-08-1994

Mom metrbt-1997-zoo

Mom stuff 1610.21 taken

Mom stuff 1610.21 taken

Mom stuff 1610.21 taken

Mom stuff 1610.21 taken

Mom with Delbridge Family - June 1986 Lois Graduation Party

Mom's Cat Wall

Mom's Cat Wall

Mom's Cat Wall

Mom's Favorite Mustard

Mom's shirt in my closet

MOM-cbt birthday 2007 001

MOM-in the convertible

Mom-Rykses-Oct-Nov-98

Mother's Day 2012

Mother's Day 2010

Brick in Memorial Garden at
Richland Presbyterian Church taken 1610.21 w-dad
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- Days ago = 546 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1701.01 - 10:10
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Reflect and connect.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you, Mom.
I miss you so very much, Mom.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
- Days ago = 1097 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1807.05 - 10:10
NEW (written 1708.27) NOTE on time: I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of your death, Mom, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of your death, Mom. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom.
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2507.30 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3681 days ago & DAD = 335 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3815 - SoD Reprint of #998 - Trip to Tillamook from 2018



A Sense of Doubt blog post #3815 - SoD Reprint of #998 - Trip to Tillamook from 2018

Going into reprint mode for two days as I try to catch up from a week of multiple deadlines and a huge research project.

Also, looking back on ten years since Mom died, this was the post for DAY 1000. Today is Day 3680.

I am going back to this area by the Wilson River soon for a hike with a friend of mine.

Thanks for tuning in.



Friday, March 30, 2018



Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #998 - Tillamook Trip

Hi Mom, The long-awaited Tillamook trip report, over a week in the making!

I made this while listening to THE MONDAY GRAVEYARD.

After I recovered from the plague for the second time, made more severe by the work of the anti-biotics to clear my system, my traveling companion and I rescheduled our plans and decided to head over to the Oregon Coast, to see Tillamook and maybe visit some wineries. We booked a hotel in Rockaway Beach and after I packed in some work time Saturday morning, we left. I took my laptop with me, but I did not fire it up for the two days we were gone. I did some work when I got home Sunday night as it was the last day of the term for those classes, and I needed to be present.

So, we headed out the morning of April 10th for our April 10th-11th adventure.

We had two routes to choose from because of the bridges across the Columbia River. We could either go up to Longview and down the coast, or we could go through Portland and cut through the Tillamook State Forest. We chose the latter.

This route takes us down 26 to highway 6, which goes through the Tillamook State Forest. We had no idea what to expect or what we would find. We didn't even know that the area was a little mountainous and rises to an elevation of around 1500 feet. We're also driving toward the coast, which means driving down to sea level, ultimately.

When I saw signs for the Tillamook Forest Center and bathrooms, I figured this would be just a somewhat rustic rest stop. When I saw the big building with its gift shop and museum, I still did not realize what it was and what it featured. We walked through the museum and at the back the center opened on a bridge across the Wilson River and a hiking trail, which we learned from an intrepid traveler is a 47-mile trail through the forest, part of which goes under a waterfall.

We live in an amazing place, like something out of a fantasy novel.





This is the bridge across the Wilson River found behind the Tillamook Forest Center.

picture by L.


The Wilson River.






After we came into Tillamook, we ate lunch at the Pelican Brewing Company.

I am eating LOTS of clam chowder lately.










After lunch, we stopped at the Blue Heron French Cheese Company for some wine tasting.
I liked this line on the bottle: "More wine; less ego." The Disruption wine was one of my favorites, also.


And then we started the drive to our motel in Rockaway Beach.

Note for future trips: we should investigate locations more thoroughly. My traveling companion was less than enthusiastic about the town.


We stayed at the Silver Sands Motel. It was nice enough compared to many places I saw or stayed in on our trip west. But it's definitely not "high end."

But enroute, some of her pictures, like the next three especially are awesome. This first one is of interesting mud flats along the drive.

by L.

by L.

by L.
And now, these are photos I took....







I have always liked rocks. I am always trying to find nice textures for backgrounds or banner photos.





Then I had some Oysters hand harvested from Netarts Bay. We learned that salt harvested from the bay is among the best as it is fed by only one fresh water stream, so the water is almost 100% salt water. Jacobsen Salt Co. is making a killing harvesting the salt by hand and selling it.

The oysters were small but delicious, but I could taste the purity of the salt.

by L.
So, it's a good thing I like oysters.

We stopped for oysters at the Source in Garibaldi and had a nice chat with the owner. We also bought a pork shoulder farmed locally.

We learned as much as we could about local eateries from the nice owner. Ultimately, though there's a great view of the ocean at Pirate's cove restaurant (just up the street from The Source), and though the owner was high on the Offshore Grill, we decided to have breakfast there and seek dinner (or at least wine) in Manzanita as I knew there was a winery there with a dog mascot and the owner confirmed that the town was more on the "high end" side of accommodations.



So, we're off to Manzanita.



But as soon as we see this sign for MacGregor's whiskey bar, we changed our plans. Forget about the winery. We're going to the whiskey bar!!

And it was AMAZING.

We want to go back.


The list of possible whiskeys is extensive.
But we let the owner convince us to try something new, the Japanese Whiskey Flight, which, as we learned, is more popular than his scotch flight. Sacrilege!!

I also learned that Suntory, who has been around since the 19th century, just bought Jim Beam. And by "just," I mean in 2014.

Delicious whiskey!




I drunkenly decided to "celebrate" being five years cancer free, even though it's not a major accomplishment for me. I had a very easy time. I should shut up about it because so many other people, including good friends of mine, have had a much harder time.



So we tucked in to this charcuterie board and two amazing soups.


by L.

by L.


It was a fantastic night.

The next morning at Off Shore Grill I ordered the oyster hash, thinking the oysters would be shopped up in a hash, and I was served this monstrosity with huge fried oysters.

It was good, but way more food then I was expecting.


So, then we took our time leaving the coast.

More photos.




I did say I liked rocks.




via Liesel
Stop at Tillamook's factory, which was under construction, so we did not see much.




But my traveling companion, who is not identified so she does not come up in Google searches, had a Pendelton Whiskey Ice Cream pictures here. Pretty amazing.

via L.
Then we hit the beach in Oceanside, journeying a bit more because we wanted to see the famous, salty Netarts Bay.














Then we headed up to Cape Meares Lighthouse and Wildlife Refuge. It was a totally random thing, though somewhat supported by the Google search efforts of my traveling companion.

We got to see the Octopus Tree, which is pretty cool. Also, the views from Cape Meares are spectacular.
















We ended the day by stopping in Portland for late lunch/early dinner.

I had not been to the Sellwood neighborhood yet, a favorite of my traveling companion, and so we went there and managed to choose this great BBQ place.

It was a great weekend.

And it only took me like three weeks to write this report!





Reverend's BBQ
7712 SE 13th Av
Portland, OR 97202

In SELLWOOD


















Hi Mom, I think it's very fitting that on the 1000th day since you died, I post a blog entry showing me loving life, enjoying life, loving love, loving my wife, my marriage, my new home, and everything.
Though I had considered ending the HEY MOM feature with entry 1000 (two days from now), I am going to keep it going until I reach the three year mark on July 6th, 2018. Three years seems fitting in some way. And though I may retire "Hey Mom" for good on that day, or make it an occasional or weekly feature, I think I want to keep blogging daily in some fashion, though I am still mulling over the best way to broadcast.

Thanks for everything, Mom. I wouldn't be here without you.

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Reflect and connect.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you, Mom.
I miss you so very much, Mom.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
- Days ago = 1000 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1803.30 - 10:10
NEW (written 1708.27) NOTE on time: I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of your death, Mom, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of your death, Mom. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom.
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2507.29 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3680 days ago & DAD = 334 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.