Hey, Mom! The Explanation.

Here's the permanent dedicated link to my first Hey, Mom! post and the explanation of the feature it contains.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #323 - More on introverts

My space ship art work - 1974?
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #323 - More on introverts

Hi Mom,

Recently, I was trying to explain to Liesel how much psychic energy it would take for me to go to the Google IO conference, which I did a week ago today.

I was trying to adjust my expectations. My initial expectations for the conference involved giving out over a dozen business cards and talking to as many people or more. I spoke with my therapist about lowering these expectations because I had them far too high. I expect too much of myself. It's a problem.

So my new expectations were simply to talk to ONE person. Maybe give out a card. Maybe get a card. That's the minimum. (I exceeded the goal.) But I was trying to explain to my wife that even that much caused me great anxiety because at heart I am an introvert. She disagreed, suggesting that I like the idea of being an introvert but that I am really an extrovert. This comment made me wonder if she really knew me at all.

I have always felt that my core personality is the introvert. I am not painfully introverted. And I have had to learn to be extroverted, and I do quite well when I am comfortable, such as in teaching or at Ultimate. Even at the grocery store, I am often able to strike up a conversation with the cashier and bagger. I am not naturally gregarious, but I am not rude, either. My wife calls this my Mr. Aloha personality. I just consider it being polite.

But if I enter a world in which I am not comfortable, especially somewhere I have never been like the Google IO conference, then I have great anxiety. I shrink into my shell. I find it difficult to strike up conversations. In these places, at these functions, I am not naturally gregarious. I do not tend to talk to people. I tend to hide in a book, or I sit off to the side and isolate myself. Last year, at the magic convention, when not with my Dad, I did not talk to very many other magicians. I gravitate naturally to the introvert role.

My wife has some valid means for comparison. Between us, she is the more introverted. I am much better at performing than she is, better at pretending to be extroverted. And in repeated performance truth emerges? Maybe. But performance was and is always a source of intense anxiety. I still dream about it all the time. But unlike when I was younger, I am no longer a slave to the anxiety. I no longer fail in the dreams. I improvise and succeed in some fashion, either spectacularly or feebly. The anxiety is still there, but it no longer controls me.

So, in like fashion, I trusted in my ability to improvise at the Google conference, and I actuallu made some connections that may last.

But when I examine this article on introversion and read the links, I am clearly an introvert. I get over-stimulated easily. I need a great deal of time to process something. I do not like risk and change.

This statement that you will read below basically describes my greatest joys: This is why introverts feel content and energized when reading a book, thinking deeply, or diving into their rich inner world of ideas.

Uh, yeah, that's me. You know this about me, Mom. But I think I got this trait more from Dad than from you.

For more on introversion, check this out: SUSAN CAIN'S THE QUIET REVOLUTION

Here's the content...

6 Illustrations That Show What It’s Like in an Introvert’s Head


By Liz Fosslien and Mollie West

Dear Extroverts,

We love your energy and your excitement. But as introverts, we sometimes feel misunderstood. We wish you could visualize what’s going on inside our brains—you might be surprised! Here are six illustrations of what it’s like to be in our heads.



1. According to The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney, introverts have a longer neural pathway for processing stimuli. Information runs through a pathway that is associated with long term memory and planning. In other words, it’s more complicated for introverts to process interactions and events. As they process information, introverts are carefully attending to their internal thoughts and feelings at the same time.

2. According to studies by psychologist Hans Eysenck, introverts require less stimulation from the world in order to be awake and alert than extroverts do. This means introverts are more easily over-stimulated.

3. The flip side of introverts’ sensitivity to dopamine is that they need less of it to feel happy. Extroverts’ brains run on an energy-spending nervous system, whereas introverts’ brains run on an energy-conserving nervous system. This is why introverts feel content and energized when reading a book, thinking deeply, or diving into their rich inner world of ideas.

4. Introverts’ brains aren’t as strongly rewarded for gambling or taking risks as extroverts’ brains are. The brain’s reward and pleasure system is activated by dopamine neurotransmitters. Scientists found that extroverts’ brains responded with more pleasure to positive gambling results. In other words, introverts feel less excitement from surprise or risk.

5. The introvert’s brain treats interactions with people at the same intensity level that it treats encounters with inanimate objects. Introverts process everything in their surroundings and pay attention to all the sensory details in the environment, not just the people.

6. As introverts are thinking, they reach back into long-term memory to locate information. An introvert will often compare old and new experiences when making a decision, which slows the processing down but leads to carefully thought-out decisions. This means that introverts have an active dialogue with themselves and usually walk around with many thoughts in their minds.


Reflect and connect.

Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.

Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.


- Days ago = 325 days ago

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1605.25 - 10:10

NOTE on time: When I post late, I had been posting at 7:10 a.m. because Google is on Pacific Time, and so this is really 10:10 EDT. However, it still shows up on the blog in Pacific time. So, I am going to start posting at 10:10 a.m. Pacific time, intending this to be 10:10 Eastern time. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom. But I am not going back and changing all the 7:10 a.m. times. But I will run this note for a while. Mom, you know that I am posting at 10:10 a.m. often because this is the time of your death.
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