Though the current project started as a series of posts charting my grief journey after the death of my mother, I am no longer actively grieving. Now, the blog charts a conversation in living, mainly whatever I want it to be. This is an activity that goes well with the theme of this blog (updated 2018). The Sense of Doubt blog is dedicated to my motto: EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY. I promote questioning everything because just when I think I know something is concrete, I find out that it’s not.
Hey, Mom! The Explanation.
Here's the permanent dedicated link to my first Hey, Mom! post and the explanation of the feature it contains.
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #61 - American Museum of Magic
Hi Mom,
Still in catch up mode, so this one starts incomplete.
Dad and I went to the American Museum of Magic before we went to Turkeyville on Thursday, August 27th, 2015. We forgot to get any pictures of ourselves at either the museum or at Turkeyville.
So this will be a photo document of the museum and some thoughts to share.
I love old magic posters, so there are several of those in this photo set.
classic cups and balls,
oldest magic trick
Houdini's milk can escape
Amazing collection of hand bills
Guillotine and
Sawing a Lady in Half
Disecto, which I own
Tarbell of the Tarbell Course in Magic
which I have just been gifted the eighth and final volume
Karrell Fox, I have one of his books
Magic magazines
I wrote for MUM and New Tops
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #60 - a reflection for throwback Thursday
Hi Mom,
This is what I wrote when I started this entry: "I am behind on my posts. I have been grading like a maniac to meet deadlines. Readers, if you come across this page, it's still under construction as are the last three posts. Catching up tomorrow and this weekend."
In two days, it will be a week later since I started this entry, and I am not yet caught up, let alone ahead, which is the goal. But I continue. I press forward.
Check out this image left. It is mostly white space but that will make sense as my text runs along side it. It's the text of what you wrote, Mom, on the back of the picture at the top of this blog entry. You are very precise. Although you did not know the exact date the photo was taken, you knew it was mid-late July of 1972, which would put my age at 10 and 1/2 years and Lori's at two years and 11 and 1/2 months, as it would have been just before her August 9th birthday.
I love this handwritten note. First of all, I love your handwriting, Mom. You wrote in cursive all her life. Dad, Lori, and I all took to block printing, but not you, you stuck with cursive. I had so many notes from you over the years in your delicate scrawl. I wish I had saved more of them.
Because after the meningitis, we worked on handwriting. You were all right in the first years after your recovery, and then you started to decline.
Probably the palsy that took your life, even then.
I saved so many hand writing samples from the post-meningitis period.
I promise, Mom. I will re-learn cursive and use it for notes that would make you proud, like on birthday cards to Dad.
Anyway, this is a picture of us all (minus Dad who is taking the photo) on the beach at ou rLong Lake home and later summer vacation rental. I will write more about that in a few days because Dad an I got go in the old house!! But for now just this picture and memories of your handwriting.
I love you, Mom.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #59 - Phonogram and Traverse City 2015 pt. three - plans
Hi Mom,
I just brought the two Phonogram graphic novels with me on my vacation (such as it is, two days, three depending on how you count) as an after thought. I was planning to read the book I started a while ago, The Girl in the Road by Monica Bryne, and I spent the whole time I was up north reading Phonogram. (I was also going to read more of my Java text book but that didn't happen either.)
This is a theme of my life: plans that do not come to fruition. I have learned over the years to plan fewer things and that when I fail to do everything that I have planned to do that I do not beat myself to a pulp for being a failure. But it's difficult. I plan too much. I hold myself to a high standard, and then I have trouble not being disappointed in myself. You know this about me, Mom. In fact, I think I learned this behavior from you because I sure did not get it from my Dad.
Anyway, Phonogram.
Phonogram is a comic graphic novel about Brit Pop, such as Blur, Manic Street Preachers, Oasis, Suede, The Long Blondes, Dexys Midnight Runners, and The Pipettes, among many, many others.
There are two books published in 2007 and 2008, and with a new volume starting, called Phonogram: The Immaterial Girl, I had been wanting to read the previous volumes before I read the first issue, published last month. Also, I have become quite a fan of both creators: Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie. Gillen and McKelvie currently produce a comic called The Wicked and the Divine, which is sort of related to Phonogram, though not directly.
I previously wrote about The Wicked and the Divine on this blog in an entries called
as I hotly and eagerly anticipated the release of this comic after enjoying Gillen and McKelvie's collaboration on The Young Avengers.
Anyway, in Phonogram, characters are phonomancers who can use music to cast magic. There's a grander plot with relationships and tons of music trivia but that's essentially it.
What really hooked me was the entry into music that I knew about but did not own and have not listened to much or at all, and Gillen wrote very detailed glossaries for all the quoted song lyrics and music references in the comic book. I was fascinated. Sitting on the porch of the Neahtawanta, I realized I could dial up music via You Tube on my phone and give a listen to several of the songs right there. And... WOW. For instance, I had only ever listened to Dexys Midnight Runners' song "Come On, Eileen." The other stuff is amazingly good. Also, I had seen the band name, Manic Street Preachers, on British music magazines for years and had never explored their work. I did not know that one of their original members, Richey Edwards, had disappeared in 1995 and is presumed dead by suicide (jumping off a bridge).
I was mesmerized.
Other than great time with Dad, and with your spirit and presence, Mom, the greatest thing I got from the vacation was a new love for Brit Pop and the comic Phonogram.
A better explanation than the one I gave can be found here:
I took the following picture for Liesel as there had been some discussion about her coming with us to Traverse City, but then she picked up some work hours. She has been wanting to kayak or paddle board all summer. So I took this picture and sent it to her with the message: "this could have been you."
Likewise, Liesel took a picture of this salad, and wrote me the same message: "this could have been you."
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
- Days ago = 60 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1509.02 - 21:55
and 1509.06 - 19:57
Bower's Harbor Cove
beach of the Neahtawanta Inn
Morning, 1509.01
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #58 - Traverse City 2015 pt. two - the Neahtawanta Inn
Hi Mom, Grading like crazy now that I am home. More tomorrow.
they have a peace pole too
so do we
I am sorry we did not shop Front Street.
That's how this one originally started and that's how it stayed until today (1509.05). I was in massive catch up mode after the vacation and taking two and a half days off work. Really, a day and a half, as I should be able to take off Sunday, though not this week. I had my vacation already for the week, so Sunday is going to be a big work day.
Mom, I know you would have liked us to shop Front Street. But I had to get home to work. I promise. Next time. I can feel your tsk-tsk. Thanks. So much guilt.
So, hey Mom, how are you doing? I sense that you're doing very well. I can feel your smile, your hugs and kisses. I know you like my picture here. Morning at the Neahtawanta Inn. I was going to Jam pack these two (today's and yesterday's) blog entries with all the pictures from the trip but that seems like a lot, and I can spread this content out a bit. Does that sound like a good idea, Mom?
After all, there's a lot of pictures of the Neahtawanta Inn and TWO videos. I hope you enjoy them Mom. Videos and pictures with comments to follow.
I wanted to capture the sound of the surf that I was listening to all night with the windows open.
This one is from the day before in the afternoon when it was windy.
I never tire of pictures of the Neahtawanta Inn.
I love to think that all the people whom I have introduced to the Neahtawanta have gone back often. I don't think this is true, but I like to think it.
The most gorgeous view in the Traverse area.
The glimmer of the dawning sun on the water in the morning. The cove at the Neahtawanta is often more serene, shielded from the greater rough waters of the open bay or of the left-most coast and Lake Michigan open to Wisconsin.
This is my spot. Where I spent the majority of my days so many times in the almost 15 years that I regularly vacationed at the Neahtawanta from 1993-2007, See my computer screen in the lower right corner. I am sitting on the same couch where I have always sat, enjoying the gorgeous view.
Thank you, Neahtawanta Inn. You have been a healing, spiritual, and serene presence in my life since 1990 when I visited you for the first time.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
