A Sense of Doubt blog post #3887 - Letter to Dad #005 - Fallen Angel
Hi Dad, It's going to be a short letter this week because I am behind schedule (it's Saturday as I write for this Thursday post), and I am tired. I stayed up late to watch the 15 inning pitching deadlock between the Detroit Tigers and Seattle Mariners last night in the win-or-go-home, deciding GAME FIVE of the ALDS. Tigers lost.
I am eating oatmeal and easing into my morning by catching up on blog posts. I need to go running this morning to "simulate" an Ultimate game as I foolishly registered for a hat tournament one week from today (today when I am writing which is 10/11, so 10/18 is the tourney) that is raising money for Palestine. Even if I only play a handful of points, it may be a success, and I may meet some cool people; it's in Portland.
Today's letter is about the symbolic photo above.
That's Mom's "Angel of the Kitchen" figurine, which I took after she died. At some point in recent years, the coiled metal wings broke off. I tried to glue them with no success. Recently, I saw the same figurine at the Hallmark store in Hazel Dell. So, I could get an inexpensive replacement if I want. But, for one thing, that would not be MOM's figurine. And I realized that the photo is symbolic of what happened to Mom, who was our Angel of the Kitchen, until her wings broke, and we had to become HER Angels of the Kitchen.
I think about those years a lot, Big Guy. I am still trying to make sense of how much closer we became as we had to rally together to care for Mom. You did the majority of that care. The whole experience changed you. More of your Mom came out in you as the aspects like your Dad faded. I wish Mom had not been paralyzed as we discussed many times, but the experiences in those fifteen years after I would not trade for anything. If Mom could have avoided the paralysis and we could have grown closer as we all did, then that would have been perfect.
I think about those years a lot, Big Guy. I am still trying to make sense of how much closer we became as we had to rally together to care for Mom. You did the majority of that care. The whole experience changed you. More of your Mom came out in you as the aspects like your Dad faded. I wish Mom had not been paralyzed as we discussed many times, but the experiences in those fifteen years after I would not trade for anything. If Mom could have avoided the paralysis and we could have grown closer as we all did, then that would have been perfect.
I think about all that a lot.
Our fallen angel.
And now you're both fallen.
I think about that a lot, too.
I can't get out of here without sharing a song that comes to mind. Apparently, there's also a King Crimson song called "Fallen Angel" from Red, which I quite forgot, but I am not sharing that one. Maybe if I make a Fallen Angel mix. :-)
Our fallen angel.
And now you're both fallen.
I think about that a lot, too.
I can't get out of here without sharing a song that comes to mind. Apparently, there's also a King Crimson song called "Fallen Angel" from Red, which I quite forgot, but I am not sharing that one. Maybe if I make a Fallen Angel mix. :-)
As for the Robbie Robertson song, I also quite forgot that Peter Gabriel sings on it.
Fitting that this video shows sunlight through trees as I feel closest to you and Mom out in nature.
Love you.
Miss you both, Dad.
Love,
christopher
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2510.09 - 10:10
- Days ago: MOM = 3752 days ago & DAD = 406 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
- Days ago: MOM = 3752 days ago & DAD = 406 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
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