I like what I wrote yesterday so much it bears repeating: "The felling of a tree is much like the felling of a year, cut off from the minutes of its last month--as we measure time--left to drift into the past, unmoored, floating free, cradling a flickering votive in the bark of its hours, creeping day-by-day ever closer to the horizon and the vanishing point. And yet, it never reaches that vanishing point, as in memory, it's all a matter of perspective."
I am choosing a date and time stamp even though I did not actually publish at that time. What really happened on Saturday January 2nd at 10:10 a.m. is this: I was driving home from breakfast with Chris Dilley when my eyes fixed on my car's clock at exactly 10:10 a.m., the time of your death. Like July 4th, this was the first Saturday of the month. I felt my eyes were drawn to the clock by you, Mom. I felt your spirit filling the car. I felt your reassurance that everything is going to be all right. In fact, I felt as if I could hear your voice: "everything's going to be all right, Christopher."
It seemed you were telling me to ensure that I reflect on you, Mom, your life, your love, my love for you, every day at 10:10 a.m. I have set my phone alarm to beep every day from now on at 10:10 a.m.
Thank you for visiting me, Mom.
As for the picture up top, I was working on previous blog entries yesterday because there were NINE unfinished ones. I knocked out all but one. I used the picture above in Hey Mom #62 to show the porch of our old Long Lake home now compared to then, using this 1971 picture from a summer vacation of us and the Holdemans. Its just the kind of photo of family that should sit a top this year in review, though I wish Dad was present in the photo more clearly. Since Dad is taking the photo, you can sort of see him in the reflection in the window with the light from the flash as his crown.
In many ways, 2015 was a significant year for me and my entire family, and not just because of your death, Mom. Many significant things happened. Indulge my time line.
2015 TOWER TIME LINE
January 2015 - I embark on what will be my first full calendar year as a student at WMU. I also start a new class at Lake Michigan College in Benton Harbor.
February 15, 2015 - I take Liesel to the ER with intense abdominal pain and the next day she has her gall bladder removed. Amazingly, just a few days later (1502.22), we have brunch with our friends Ryan and Mallory and wish them farewell as they return to South Korea for another teaching stint.
May 19-29th - Liesel and I toured Scotland, something I am still writing about on this blog with pictures and trip reports as I never finished a full travel journal as I wished. Upon arrival, we drove from Glasgow to the Isle or Skye, and we stayed in Uig, north of Portree, We lodged next in Crieff, the Gateway to the Highlands, and ended our stay in Edinburgh and Glasgow.
On June 20th, we all gathered at the Pattiwood condo for a combined Father's Day and Birthday celebration for Dad. You were not doing well at all, Mom, and the next day you started the active dying process. Though this may sound selfish, thank you for not starting this process until I got home from Scotland. I would never forgive myself if I had been in Scotland while you were dying.
On July 4th, Saturday, at 10:10 a.m., you died, Mom.
On July 10th, we shared a visitation in your honor and then Liesel, Ivan, and I attended the Erykah Badu concert at Miller - see Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #169 - The Erykah Badu story for more details.
On July 11th, Saturday, at 11 a.m., we held a Memorial Service for you, Mom, and interred your ashes in the garden at the Richland Presbyterian Church.
On August 27th, Dad and I went to the Turkeyville show Nunset Boulevard, our first without you.
On August 30th - September 1st, Dad and stayed at the Neahtawanta in Traverse City together.
On November 13th, Friday, Dad and I attended the Turkeyville Christmas show and the cast dedicated the performance to you, especially the sing-a-long that you loved so much.
In November, Liesel finished her Master of Science in Nursing degree.
In December, Liesel signed on offer with the Family Health Center to work as a Nurse Practitioner and will leave Bronson after ten years.
On December 25th, we celebrated our first Christmas without you, Mom.
And now, it's a new year. 2015 is over.
It's been a significant year, Mom. And it's a fifth year. I graduated from high school in 1980, five years later I graduated from K (1985), from years later I graduated from WMU (1990) (technically), and reunions happen every five years, and now on, another every five year event. Even your meningitis (2000) and your seizures (2005) happened on the fifth year.
Event-filled year, 2015.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
- Days ago = 181 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1601.02 - 10:10