sense of doubt

Though the current project started as a series of posts charting my grief journey after the death of my mother, I am no longer actively grieving. Now, the blog charts a conversation in living, mainly whatever I want it to be. This is an activity that goes well with the theme of this blog (updated 2018). The Sense of Doubt blog is dedicated to my motto: EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY. I promote questioning everything because just when I think I know something is concrete, I find out that it’s not.

Hey, Mom! The Explanation.

Here's the permanent dedicated link to my first Hey, Mom! post and the explanation of the feature it contains.

HEY, MOM #1
Also,

LINKTREE

Friday, January 6, 2017

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #549 - Welcome 2017

Evan Shaner of DC's Future Quest - Happy New Year
The image above may be somewhat whimsical, but then, maybe that's okay. There's been intense gravity lately but there's Gravity's Rainbow, so ... Or there's been much gravitas about 2016 and the beginning of 2017. But we should remember the good things, and this image depicts my favorite comic book of 2016. So that's a good thing.

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #549 - Welcome 2017

Hi Mom, So, I am still working on the huge book review part two, and I don't really want to split it in three or more parts. Thus, I have decided to delay posting it until Sunday.

I am so groggy this time of year. When I wake up, I seem to have to paw through layers of gauze.

I have trouble staying awake and reading too long once I go to bed.

Winter is strange, and it's effect on me a challenge to overcome. Coffee helps. I am about to do some cold brew of my own as a later morning or even early afternoon caffeine bomb to my system. Coffee to take with me to Calculus class, which starts Monday. Don't worry. I have been doing my homework. I feel more ready than ever for a class.

2016 was weird. Given that it was to be the first full year without you, Mom, that fact had me girded and guarded enough, but then early in the year, David Bowie died, and after that the hits just kept on coming. i have already written about this (see the death category), but it's a subject that seemed to culminate in the worst election of my life but then there was more death and calamity to end the year. Is fear and dread the new normal?

I don't know. I fight the good fight. I write. I am back to doodling on my satire featuring superheroes, and maybe I can make some actual progress this year. I am also starting to noodle the CyberSpell book some more. I need to make space and time for the writing. I say this every year and then work and chores take over and writing is the first thing to be sacrificed. I have to be more steadfast.

I also fight the good fight in the class room. I speak passionately and I try to inspire my young students.

And yet, I am afraid of what 2017 will bring. I am afraid of all the good things, the humane things we have in place that may soon be taken away, such as friends of mine who are married, who, before the year is out, may be told that legally speaking, they are not married any more. Thoughts like that make me sick.

It's time to re-read The Handmaid's Tale.

But for now, here's what one of my other favorite writers had to say about the New Year of 2017.

He expressed some hope. There will be joy, he shares. Thanks Warren. I needed that.


FROM - http://morning.computer/2017/01/2017/

MORNING, COMPUTER

WARREN ELLIS ON GREENWICH MEAN TIME




2017

As I’ve written before, New Year doesn’t feel like an arbitrary, notional event to me.  I hear the click as we roll over on to the new track.
Listening hard for the click, this year.
2016 was a hard year. It would be comforting to think we jump to a new track today, and pull clear of that shitbox of a year. That 2017 will be better.
It’ll be different.  It’ll be interesting in many fine and terrible ways.  It’ll be sad, if not in precisely the same way 2016 was.  I’d love to tell someone that it’ll be better.  But I think we were all fooling ourselves with that notion that years get better, just as we fool ourselves into thinking each year is starkly fenced off and the space ahead is virgin field.
It will be memorable. It will have beauty in it, and new things, and it will sing and light up skies.  There will be joy.
Will it be better?  No.  But I trust that it will be worth sticking around for, and that it will not be boring.  That’s enough for me.





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Reflect and connect.

Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.

I miss you so very much, Mom.

Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.

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- Days ago = 551 days ago

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1701.06 - 10:10

NOTE on time: When I post late, I had been posting at 7:10 a.m. because Google is on Pacific Time, and so this is really 10:10 EDT. However, it still shows up on the blog in Pacific time. So, I am going to start posting at 10:10 a.m. Pacific time, intending this to be 10:10 Eastern time. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom. But I am not going back and changing all the 7:10 a.m. times. But I will run this note for a while. Mom, you know that I am posting at 10:10 a.m. often because this is the time of your death.
Posted by Chris Tower at 10:10 AM
Labels: Hey Mom!, Warren Ellis, year in review

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I am Christopher Tower the gmr

I am Christopher Tower (or Chris), and I am a writer of stuff. I grew up in Michigan; I now live in the Portland, OR metro area. I play Ultimate, ride a bike, and supposedly educate college persons while myself being educated in college. I am married with two kids, a beagle, a curly lab, and a fiesty pug/frenche mix. I like sushi. I love all SF, fantasy, comic books, D&D, board games, and Gnosticism. I am a Jungian. I am currently studying Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Walden University.

Satchel

Satchel

SENSE OF DOUBT STATUS AS OF 0705.04 - 16:45

Sense of Doubt is not currently dedicated to any themes or special interest. The subject matter is mine and may range from comic books to ultimate or from Baseball to feminist-centered media criticism. Until I feel I have enough content for multiple blogs, or until I am seized with a desire to create multiple blogs, this is it, and appropriately so. "Sense of Doubt" came about in Bowie’s Berlin period and the dark, ambient collaborations with Brian Eno. Like the Bowie of 1978, I have my own darkness that steals over me and through me, infecting everything. At the risk of sounding far too melodramatically obsessed with my own self-flagellations, this blog dedicates itself to that darkness, that infection. But it’s fun, too. Hey, I can be amusing? Or not. It’s the way of the [w]rench. Neurosis compelling action in insecure double-checking and misunderstanding evasions. It is my way.
More from the original description text that needed editing in 2015: Furthermore, Sense of Doubt is dedicated to the random. The theme is no theme. Just questions, doubt, and uncertainty. Feel the power of not knowing the answer. So dedicated on the last day of July 2006 by the Galactic Monkey Wrench.

The Blog about my job

There's this other blog I started. I call it the

Western Michigan University Academic Freedom Watch

It's about how my identity was taken from me by the powers that think they be, an identity, a job, I held for ten years. Go there if curious.

the galactic monkey wrench

the galactic monkey wrench

The Galactic Monkey Wrench

This is the logo of the Galactic Monkey Wrench. I was given the nickname Galactic Monkey Wrench in college by a friend of mine who felt that I threw the monkey wrench into the cosmos at every available opportunity. Later, in discussions with my best friend, who is the Lord of Chaos (the Loc), he asked for my title and when I told him, without thinking, he blurted out "the gmr!" Since this was random and we appreciate randomness, I became the gmr, even though technically I should be the gmw. But gmw sounds like a car or some industrial manufacturing firm that makes a strange widget of which one has never heard. This acronym fetish may make no sense to anyone else, but my friend and I are quite driven to provide acronyms for many things. At the very least, it allows us to keep our conversations obscure and often private as no one knows about what we're talking.

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Monkey Wrench Books

Chris's books

A Feast for Crows
4 of 5 stars
A Feast for Crows
by George R.R. Martin
This book is a little slower than the others. But if you become invested in this series, it provides key information about the history of Westeros and the lands across the Narrow Sea. It may not contain chapters with my favorite characters ...
A Game of Thrones
5 of 5 stars
A Game of Thrones
by George R.R. Martin
Do I really need to review this book? It's one of the best books I have ever read. Martin is a great writer. All the books are great, and I am loving my time rereading them. If you have not checked out these books, start here and get ready ...
The Golden City
0 of 5 stars
The Golden City
by John Twelve Hawks
These books are immensely entertaining. Treat yourself to some strong writing, great action, compelling characters, and a mix of metaphysics and theology. The ending of this third book, which is presumably the last, is anti-climactic and so...
Pathfinder
0 of 5 stars
Pathfinder
by Orson Scott Card
This was a fun book. Not OSC's best but very good OSC nonetheless. The best thing about is the time travel, slowing, and speeding powers of the characters and how OSC engages the reader in discussion of causality and time paradox. For fans ...
Swamplandia!
0 of 5 stars
Swamplandia!
by Karen Russell
This book came to me via my wife Liesel who discovered it and urged me to read it. Beautifully written with compelling characters and a sense of the magical (yet realistic, somewhat). Funny yet full of the pathos that marks a good if not gr...

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