sense of doubt

Though the current project started as a series of posts charting my grief journey after the death of my mother, I am no longer actively grieving. Now, the blog charts a conversation in living, mainly whatever I want it to be. This is an activity that goes well with the theme of this blog (updated 2018). The Sense of Doubt blog is dedicated to my motto: EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY. I promote questioning everything because just when I think I know something is concrete, I find out that it’s not.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #569 - ThwbkThurs#2-Mom &Lori-Three Months&One Day

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #569 - Mom &Lori - Three Months & One Day old - Photo Series One #15 - Throwback Thursday

Hi Mom, I really needed to see a picture of you today.

This is the second of two photos from when Lori was three months and one day old as you noted so carefully on the photo.

I posted the other here:

http://sensedoubt.blogspot.com/2017/01/hey-mom-talking-to-my-mother-555-mom.html

I am not even going to hold this one for 10:10 a.m.

As I noted yesterday, I am depressed. I wish you were here, Mom.

Yesterday after running errands, I had a big glass of cold brew coffee around 16:00. It had a short term effect but then seemed to wear off, and I was gripped with such powerful exhaustion that I could not even make dinner for Liesel (who just wanted a salad, so I just set out all the ingredients).

After cleaning up and making the coffee for this morning (which I always do the night before, as you did, Mom), was so exhausted, and so fed up with work, and really fed up with the news and not wanting to look at Twitter or other social media, so I watched something I have been wanting to watch" episode one of Daredevil season two on NETFLIX. Very good. Thank you, Marvel. Watching the Punisher slaughter criminal scum and watching Daredevil trying to beat him down made me at least content, bordering on happy.

But then I could not get to sleep. It was like the coffee had a second wind. I ended up taking TWO sleeping pills and then slept in to 6 a.m. Ellory didn't wake me at 5 a.m. so that was different. Anyway, I have limited time today, and I just want to get this posted.

I am trying to think of good things, Mom.

I am trying to focus on hope, but there's so little of it.

And yet, whatever the "government" may do, there are still good things. There's love and puppies and Daredevil and good things to read and bourbon. At least for now, none of those things are in danger of being taken away.

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Reflect and connect.

Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.

I miss you so very much, Mom.

Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.

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- Days ago = 571 days ago

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1701.26 - 8:00

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I am Christopher Tower the gmr

I am Christopher Tower (or Chris), and I am a writer of stuff. I grew up in Michigan; I now live in the Portland, OR metro area. I play Ultimate, ride a bike, and supposedly educate college persons while myself being educated in college. I am married with two kids, a beagle, a curly lab, and a fiesty pug/frenche mix. I like sushi. I love all SF, fantasy, comic books, D&D, board games, and Gnosticism. I am a Jungian. I am currently studying Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Walden University.

SENSE OF DOUBT STATUS AS OF 0705.04 - 16:45

Sense of Doubt is not currently dedicated to any themes or special interest. The subject matter is mine and may range from comic books to ultimate or from Baseball to feminist-centered media criticism. Until I feel I have enough content for multiple blogs, or until I am seized with a desire to create multiple blogs, this is it, and appropriately so. "Sense of Doubt" came about in Bowie’s Berlin period and the dark, ambient collaborations with Brian Eno. Like the Bowie of 1978, I have my own darkness that steals over me and through me, infecting everything. At the risk of sounding far too melodramatically obsessed with my own self-flagellations, this blog dedicates itself to that darkness, that infection. But it’s fun, too. Hey, I can be amusing? Or not. It’s the way of the [w]rench. Neurosis compelling action in insecure double-checking and misunderstanding evasions. It is my way.

More from the original description text that needed editing in 2015: Furthermore, Sense of Doubt is dedicated to the random. The theme is no theme. Just questions, doubt, and uncertainty. Feel the power of not knowing the answer. So dedicated on the last day of July 2006 by the Galactic Monkey Wrench.

The Galactic Monkey Wrench

This is the logo of the Galactic Monkey Wrench. I was given the nickname Galactic Monkey Wrench in college by a friend of mine who felt that I threw the monkey wrench into the cosmos at every available opportunity. Later, in discussions with my best friend, who is the Lord of Chaos (the Loc), he asked for my title and when I told him, without thinking, he blurted out "the gmr!" Since this was random and we appreciate randomness, I became the gmr, even though technically I should be the gmw. But gmw sounds like a car or some industrial manufacturing firm that makes a strange widget of which one has never heard. This acronym fetish may make no sense to anyone else, but my friend and I are quite driven to provide acronyms for many things. At the very least, it allows us to keep our conversations obscure and often private as no one knows about what we're talking.

Monkey Wrench Books

Chris's books

A Feast for Crows

by George R.R. Martin

This book is a little slower than the others. But if you become invested in this series, it provides key information about the history of Westeros and the lands across the Narrow Sea. It may not contain chapters with my favorite characters ...

A Game of Thrones

by George R.R. Martin

Do I really need to review this book? It's one of the best books I have ever read. Martin is a great writer. All the books are great, and I am loving my time rereading them. If you have not checked out these books, start here and get ready ...

The Golden City

by John Twelve Hawks

These books are immensely entertaining. Treat yourself to some strong writing, great action, compelling characters, and a mix of metaphysics and theology. The ending of this third book, which is presumably the last, is anti-climactic and so...

Pathfinder

by Orson Scott Card

This was a fun book. Not OSC's best but very good OSC nonetheless. The best thing about is the time travel, slowing, and speeding powers of the characters and how OSC engages the reader in discussion of causality and time paradox. For fans ...

Swamplandia!

by Karen Russell

This book came to me via my wife Liesel who discovered it and urged me to read it. Beautifully written with compelling characters and a sense of the magical (yet realistic, somewhat). Funny yet full of the pathos that marks a good if not gr...

Hey, Mom! The Explanation.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #569 - ThwbkThurs#2-Mom &Lori-Three Months&One Day

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