Hey, Mom! The Explanation.

Here's the permanent dedicated link to my first Hey, Mom! post and the explanation of the feature it contains.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Hey, Mom! Talking to my Mother #10 - Calculus - Test #1

Hey, Mom! Talking to my Mother #10 - Calculus - Test #1

Hi Mom,

I may very well fail my Calculus class. I am pretty sure that I failed my first test, which I took yesterday, especially given that I was able to devote about zero (very close to zero, which is a thing in Calculus called a Limit) time to studying. In fact, so confident was I that I would fail, that I almost decided to not go to class yesterday and take the test. But then, I am aiming to at least achieve near perfect (I know one day I will miss) attendance, and so I decided to go. My next fear was that I would not be able to even attempt any of the problems, and so I would submit a blank test, which is about the same as not showing up. But then, I managed to write something down for each problem. I tried. I am not sure if any of it is right, but I tried, and I did so without trying to leverage your death for sympathy points as I have not told my professor of your passing.

Why am I taking Calculus? Well, that's the plan, right? I am back to school for computer science and Calculus is required. After how I struggled with Pre-Calculus, I decided that I should take Calculus by itself, so it is my only class, and I can give it my whole focus. Well aware that a summer session moves at double time, I felt that with the help of a tutor I am paying, the help of the tutoring lab, and some hard work, I would be able to conquer Calculus and earn the grade I need (which needs to be better than my Pre-Calculus grade).

My prof compared Summer session to drinking water from a fire hose, and this is a bit how I have felt so far.

Yes, I thought about dropping the class, and here's why I didn't. I figure I may well fail. But since WMU regards me as an undergraduate, any F grade will be replaced by the new grade when I retake the course. If I get through this course and fail (or earn too low of a grade), I will know more when I retake Calculus, and maybe I can do it in the more leisurely Winter semester. No biggie.

So, Mom, remember how I told you that you timed your death well in terms of choosing a time I had a reduced work load? Maybe you even were waiting until I got back from Scotland and that's why when I was showing you all those pictures from our trip, you kept saying "I am glad you're back" over and over. Did you know? Did you really time this event? I like to think you did. It would fit how you did things.

Well, even with your good timing, I did not calculate how your passing would affect me and affect my ability to study. I am all right, but all right is a relative term. I have not shut down, curled into a fetal position, and stopped eating or showering. I am functional. But my "all right" status is difficult to define. It's much like "all right" is a limit to value that cannot be reached, like dividing by zero.

I am undefined at zero.

Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.


- Days ago = 11 days ago

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1507.15 - 9:00
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