|Meijer on Gull Road, Kalamazoo|
Hi Mom, I went to Meijer today, and I thought of you.
It's weird to think of you in a place like Meijer, but there's so many memories that I can't help it.
You loved Meijer so much. You loved seeing what was new, even in sections that you generally did not review, like the paint aisle. I know you missed how you used to be able to take your time in Meijer, and how it was never the same after you had to rely on us to wheel you around. But I took you to Meijer so much, and spent so much time there with you as a child, that I am not going to be able to go to the store and not think of you, not feel you there with me, telling me to turn around and go back, or telling me not to run off, or asking me to go get a box of brown sugar because you forgot it.
So, I had to fight my emotions the whole time I was in Meijer. I am sure it will get easier to bear, but it's a problem to associate a place with you, Mom, so strongly, a place where I have to go every week.
I feel closest to you there, Mom. Maybe I should have some of your ashes interred there.
I was very fortunate that it was Liesel's idea to go today. I felt a lot better being there with my wife than being there alone. I am going to struggle with being there for quite a while; I may always struggle to be there.
For those who don't know, Meijer is a general merchandise and grocery store. The picture here features "our" Meijer, yours, Mom, and mine, the one near Richland, the one where we went shopping so many times since it was built in the 1980s, especially in the last 15 years when a trip to Meijer was the highlight of your day.
I wish I had some photos of our trips to Meijer in the last fifteen years. It was such a production to take you. I had to get you into the car at home, into the wheelchair in front of Meijer, often when the wind was whipping around crazily, and then get you into the store. I preferred to wheel both you and a cart at the same time, which was tricky when you wanted to be taken down every aisle because Dad would never give you such a tour when you went with him. I wonder why we never thought of touring the store aisle-by-aisle and THEN doing the shopping with the cart? Seems to me to be the right thing, now.
I should go back to the Gull Road Meijer as much as I can, especially once to tell our favorite cashier about your passing. I am not sure if I can do that now. That visit may have to wait until I feel stronger.
I often dream of Meijer, and often these dreams feature me selecting a book or comic, as you would always buy me one when I was a kid. The section is always moved in my dream, and it is surrounded by other great sections featuring great merchandise. I re-arrange the store in my dreams, which I suspect that you did, too.
Do you remember when I was a kid and I lost you? I went to the Convenience Desk and had them page you on the loud speaker? Boy, were you angry... But I couldn't find you. I remember that I was upset, too.
Next time I am in Meijer, I may ask the Convenience Desk if they will page you for me on the loud speaker.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
- Days ago = 15 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1507.19 - 16:04