Hey, Mom! The Explanation.

Here's the permanent dedicated link to my first Hey, Mom! post and the explanation of the feature it contains.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #89 - Sixth wedding anniversary

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #89 - Sixth wedding anniversary

Hi Mom,

Six years ago today, I did the smartest thing I have ever done. I married Liesel Creager, who took my last name, because she says it's cool, and she became Liesel Tower.

As you know, Mom, because we talk about it so much, I cannot imagine life without Liesel, now. She is the love of my life, the greatest relationship of my life, the longest relationship of my life, and the last relationship of my life.

She is my sun and stars.

She is my everything.

There was a time, not that long ago, when I thought I would never find any one to love again, let alone marry. I was very depressed in the 2000s. I had some relationships, and for a time, I was in love. But nothing measured up to most of my previous romances, and the new experiences I was having were becoming fewer with farther time between. I could see them ultimately stopping entirely. I saw my life as a shut in care giver, taking care of you, Mom, after Dad died, managing everything in your life, and when you passed, ending up alone with a lot of medical equipment and a lot of care giver experience.

But that's not what happened.

I met Liesel.

Technically, we re-met as we had met in 1990. Everyone who saw me on the day we re-met, some time in early December of 2008, will attest that I was flying higher than ever since I had just met the woman of my dreams, who knew my name and promised to friend me on Facebook. It took her 26 hours and 34 minutes to send the friend request.

Last night, as we celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary in a very low key way, I realized that the decision to marry Liesel went counter to how I usually make decisions. I like to agonize over big decisions. I may take months to buy a pair of shoes or anything I perceive as "big." But I told Liesel I would marry her the first time the subject came up in conversation, almost exactly two months after we started dating. A month later, I asked her officially, and seven months later we were married.

It was right. It is right.

It is true and real and perfect.

I did not need to agonize about it. I knew in the core of my soul that it was the right thing to do.

celebrating our 4th
anniversary in 2013
I love Liesel more today than I did yesterday. I will love her more tomorrow than I do today. Our relationship evolves. We do not always agree. But we have chosen to move forward together, and when we are together, it's like nothing else matters, which is kind of the whole point of love, right? Oh, and there's a puppy and some kids and a cat, but those are stories for another time.

Mom, we have talked a lot about Liesel and all the wonderfulness that makes her who she is.

But we never really talked much about how I would need her so very much once you, Mom, were gone.

Not that Liesel is a replacement for you, Mom. It's not like that.

You're my mother; Liesel is my wife.

These are quite distinct relationships.

But Liesel gives me a strong foundation upon which I may rely, have faith, and see through adversity.

We both knew that your death, Mom, would be difficult for me. Liesel believed I would completely fall apart and be inconsolable. She was pleased that I did not become a total basket case.

But I need Liesel to help me through this time. She went through it also, having lost her mother years ago. And she is my wife, and she loves me, and I need that love, more than ever. For the record, Liesel has been just great, evrything I need and more.

Thank you, Liesel, my love, for marrying me six years ago, for staying married to me for six years, and for holding my hand -- or holding all of me -- as I cope with the loss of a parent.

Thank you for being my partner, my equal, my best friend, my confidante, my lover, my adviser, my supporter, my personal DJ, my companion, my guide, my inspiration, and my soul mate. I am learning to live without you, Mom. I could not learn to live without Liesel.

Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.

Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.


- Days ago = 91 days ago

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1510.03 - 18:15

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