sense of doubt

Though the current project started as a series of posts charting my grief journey after the death of my mother, I am no longer actively grieving. Now, the blog charts a conversation in living, mainly whatever I want it to be. This is an activity that goes well with the theme of this blog (updated 2018). The Sense of Doubt blog is dedicated to my motto: EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY. I promote questioning everything because just when I think I know something is concrete, I find out that it’s not.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

A Sense of Doubt blog post #2874 - New Year's Eve - Reprint of SoD #2509 from 2021

NYE - 2016 - St. Antoine Street, Kalamazoo, MI

A Sense of Doubt blog post #2874 - New Year's Eve - Reprint of SoD #2509 from 2021

I am dressed exactly this way today (except with the Michigan shorts because of the Michigan game). I wanted to try to replicate this picture. Doing stuff on the computer. My Tomb of Dracula t-shirt.

I am writing this from the next morning, 2023, so I can give report.

Michigan lost a heart breaker, badly in the CFP semi-finals.

We watched the movies The Blackcoat's Daughter and Ex Machina.

We opened our Christmas presents! My wife got me a VITAMIX for better creation of smoothies.

I tried to get some work done but could only do bills and other this and that.

I took the dogs for a walk.

I eased into the day and finished reading the Influencing Machine for class and started Maus (also for class). I even made some more progress in the extra back matter bonus material in the 50th anniversary edition of Slaughterhouse Five (also, for class).

Pot roast and potatoes for dinner.

It was a good day.

There were disappointments and problems in the year but also wonderful things, so it was a good year. I am happy with it, despite missing out on a job I wanted, getting robbed, my Dad has cancer, and I had two trips canceled.

But we moved to a beautiful house. My dogs are perfect. I am doing some of the best work of my life as a teacher. I saw Sigur Rós, Patti Smith, and Michael Pollan. And though I am not writing fiction as much as I wish to, I made some good forward progress in multiple projects and hope to bear down better in 2023.

What I need to do is better health -- working out, yoga, tai chi.

Eat better (hence the VITAMIX for smoothies).

Teach better and set up systems for the future to make the prep easier.

And continue to be loving and kind; be this:

I have collected here many NYE posts or near NYE posts from several years, starting with last year.

Oh, but also, this:

Thanks for tuning in.

ENJOY.

Friday, December 31, 2021

A Sense of Doubt blog post #2509 - New Year's Eve 2021

A Sense of Doubt blog post #2509 - New Year's Eve 2021

Hello and welcome to my New Year's Eve post for 2021. This one's a retrospective, collecting NYE posts and related content from the history of my blogging, all the past years.

I have ceased any big plans for NYE years ago. I don’t think I have been to any kind of NYE party in 30 years. Maybe longer. Time tends to dilate.

Putting the cover to this issue of New Year’s Evil here even though I haven’t read it yet.

My NYE posts from past years have a lot of variety. I am also reprinting some things that were not published on NYE but seem worth sharing.

I love the picture of me with Satchel from NYE in 2016 that you will find below. But then, there are lots of great pictures and content in this post.

I am also very proud of the “It’s About Family” post from 2018 that I share below with the picture of the Fantastic Four at Thanksgiving, because they are the number one family in comics.

And who knew that there was a movie called New Year’s Evil, too?

Happy New Year.

Stay home, stay safe, stay well, wear masks, do not infect others, care about other people.

December 31st, 2020 was a reprint of the WINTER IS COMING t-shirt post:

Thursday, December 31, 2020

A Sense of Doubt blog post #2144 - Winter is Coming - a T-Shirt Blog reprint

In 2019, I did a post about science fiction:

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

A Sense of Doubt blog post #1778 - 2010-2019: A Decade of Change in Science Fiction and Fantasy

In 2018, I did a favorite music of the year post, which is worth re-posting at least in part.

"I hope you are with someone you love," I wrote in that posting.

Monday, December 31, 2018

A Sense of Doubt blog post #1410 - Musical Monday - The Top Ten Favorites from 2018 plus a bonus video

MY TOP TEN FAVORITES OF 2018

THE VIDEO PLAYER FOR THE MIX:

Track list for the mix: MY TOP TEN FAVORITES OF 2018

[1] 4 Non Blondes - "What's up?"

[2] Paul Weller - "Bowie"

[3] Kawehi (covers) - "Mad World & Radioactive"

[4] Moby - "A Waste of Suns (Orange Flight Remix)

[5] Arrested Development - "Kings"

[6] M.I.A. - "Born Free"

[7] MS MR - "Hurricane"

[8] Havasi featuring Lisa Gerrard - "The Storm"

[9] Thievery Corporation - "Voyage Libre"

[10] Silversun Pickups - "Lazy Eye"

BONUS VIDEO

Captain Sisko and the DS9 Ensemble sing

"Wonderful Deep Space Nine"

MS MR - "Hurricane"

In 2017, on December 31st, I published a report of a day in Portland from the day before. Liesel has a salon appointment.

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #909 - Portland 1712.30

In 2016, I posted what was to be the "part one" of a year in pictures because I just did a post of Mom photos the next day on January 01, 2017.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #543 - 2016, a year in pictures part one

Celebrating geek hood 1612.21

I voted! 1611.08

I made my first instructional video for You Tube 1603.21

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #544 - 2016, the blog that was, Mom Photos

And in 2015, the first year of the HEY MOM daily posts, I did a year end review (like you're supposed to...).

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #177 - Year end review and best blogs

MY TOP TWENTY HEY MOM POSTS SO FAR (thru 177)

There's actually twenty-one entries here because I had to include the first one, but it doesn't count towards the top twenty. I tried to avoid listing so many posts that deal with grieving, but a fair share of them deal with it because its been a constant issue for half a year now. I wanted to include one of the dreams posts and the second one is probably the best of three, despite Liesel's dream as feature of the third part. Post #83 may not be the best in terms of writing, but I love the picture from the post and have included it above. I tried to be choosy, and so I included only one post from the Memorial Service, and probably, my favorite story. But I did not include any posts from other series' I wrote, such as the seven songs sequence and the Traverse City trip group of posts. Early posts were all especially poignant, such as #s two, three, and fourteen. I like the pair #25 and #50 make between counting days and disbelief. But then, the majority of the posts in the second ten are about other subjects than my grief and the loss you, Mom, at least, that is, until Christmas. Still, this is a good list, and this post could serve as a good introduction to what I am doing. I am especially proud of the blog as a whole, but I am especially proud of these twenty entries.

New feature: Hey, Mom! Talking to my mother #1 - the explanation

Hey, Mom! Talking to my Mother #2 - last breath

Hey, Mom! Talking to my Mother #3 - "Don't be scared."

Hey, Mom! Talking to my Mother #14 - Meijer

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #20 - Memorial Service pt. 7 - Mints story

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #25 - Counting Days

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #50 - Disbelief

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #73 - Dreams part two

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #82 - Your Stuff

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #83 - LOL - not Laughing Out Loud

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #88 - 90 days and 88 blog entries

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #89 - Sixth wedding anniversary

In 2014, there was a post, but it was a roundup of comic books from 1407.30 because I was just that far behind schedule!

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Weekly Comics for 1407.30

In 2013, over on the 365 T-shirts blog, I posted about our trip to Hawaii from months before because as usual I was behind schedule.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

T-shirt #285 - Hawaii, the Land, and the Kilauea Lodge

This cool t-shirt from the Hawaiian Force has the phrase in Hawaiian that reads "How you care for the land, is how the land cares for you."

There were also lots of pictures. Like this amazing tree.

There are no other posts from previous years published on New Year's Eve.

I did not make this post on NYE, but this photo of me in my Tomb of Dracula shirt with Satchel was taken on NYE in 2016. Please note the fence around the Christmas tree due to the brand new puppy ELLORY, and her puppy wild tendency for destruction.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1125 - NYE 2016 Tomb of Dracula shirt - Throwback Thursday for 1810.25

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tomb_of_Dracula

The Tomb of Dracula is an American horror comic book series published by Marvel Comics from April 1972 to August 1979. The 70-issue series featured a group of vampire hunters who fought Count Dracula and other supernatural menaces. On rare occasions, Dracula would work with these vampire hunters against a common threat or battle other supernatural threats on his own, but more often than not, he was the antagonist rather than protagonist. In addition to his supernatural battles in this series, Marvel's Dracula often served as a supervillain to other characters in the Marvel Universe, battling the likes of Blade the Vampire Slayer, Spider-Man, the Werewolf, the X-Men, Howard the Duck, and the licensed Robert E. Howard character Solomon Kane.

http://www.tombofdracula.net/

Welcome to the Tomb of Dracula tribute page. In 1972 Marvel Comics introduced its fans to a familar figure but with a much different spin then they'd seen before thanks in part to the Comics Code Authority relaxing its rules on the depiction of vampires in comics and terrific writing and art by the team of Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan. The Tomb of Dracula lasted throughout the 1970s and earned numerous accolades from fans and critics alike. Join me now as we take a look at the color comic book series from the 1970s.

http://www.wymann.info/comics/TombOfDracula.html

Marvel Comics Tomb of Dracula was more than just your average vampire tale. The comics weaved an ongoing saga plotting its title's vampire count against a group of vampire hunters. Gene Colan's pencils, inked by Tom Palmer, added a vivid dimension to Marv Wolfman's dramatic storytelling. The result was a gothic atmosphere which harked back at the classic vampire stories while at the same time adding new momentum to the theme.

MORE COOL LINKS:

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Tomb_of_Dracula_Vol_1_1

https://www.whenitwascool.com/tomb-of-dracula-comic-book-review

https://comicvine.gamespot.com/tomb-of-dracula/4050-2582/

http://www.toonopedia.com/dracula.htm

BTW, I am working on a TOMB OF DRACULA post or a couple of posts that display all the comic book covers and material about each issue. Project for 2022!!

The following reprinted post was not from New Year's Eve, but I think it is very much worth republishing. Thank you.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

A Sense of Doubt blog post #1391 - It's About Family: If extraordinary, add the ordinary: POP!

A Sense of Doubt blog post #1391 - It's About Family: If extraordinary, add the ordinary: POP!

In reading an article on Incredible 2 in Entertainment Weekly, I was struck (Eureka! An Epiphany!) by a quote by Samuel L. Jackson.

"Ordinariness of who you really are is as interesting as this super thing you can do," Jackson insists. "These are movies about a real family with real family problems. Being a superhero doesn't put food on the table. You have to do something else to be part of real life."

BINGO!

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/463307880385548235/?lp=true

Suddenly, I realized that all my favorite comics, my truly favorite comics, are about families. Sure I like loners like Daredevil and Batman, but I like them even better when they have established their own families.

But the comics for which I have enduring love are all families: Fantastic Four, Teen Titans, the Legion of Superheroes, the Avengers, The Uncanny X-men.

And it's that Chris Claremont rule that Marvel often forgets. After the X-Men have been romping out in space fighting the Brood for six issues, then show them at a picnic playing Baseball. They need R&R and we need a break from the cosmic diaspora.

The best comics do both at the same time. They build the family stuff and the relationships while keeping the action high, during the epics, and then showing down time in between.

Like this classic:

http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Silver_Surfer_Vol_1_5

The extraordinary fits itself around the edges of the ordinary. Because Reed Richards has to (or at least wants to) bathe and shave. But who knew the Thing needed to scrub his rocky hide? Well, we did as of this splash page by Stan Lee and the GREAT John Buscema for Silver Surfer #5 published back in 1969.

In fact, for many fans (all fans?) it may be the ordinary activities that we can relate to best. I have not fought the Brood in space and faced down the planet-eating majesty of Galactus, but I shower every day and I have played a few games of backyard Baseball.

Besides, fans like to endlessly debate things like who hits a home run father the Hulk or the Thing?

How different would a game of Baseball be by the X-Men with some or all of them using their powers?

And here, thanks to Samuel L. Jackson (Thanks, man, you're a mensch), I have hit on the thing that had me stymied for a series of books that I am writing called POP!

For this task I am drawing inspiration from Terry Pratchett's DISCWORLD novels (of which I have read about 20) and various comedies and parodies that I like, holding myself to be a bit less silly than Monty Python or Mad Magazine and yet both parody the superhero genre and the world around us in terms of politics, culture, consumerism, and mass media.

And yet, I have not made much progress in the years since I conceived the idea. Partly, the slow progress is due to time: work, career change plans, going to school, married and family life, and more have not always lent me the time I want for writing. Even this blog, which was supposed to galvanize my fiction writing -- so much so that I years ago thought about releasing Pop! in monthly or even weekly episodes on this blog -- has become more of a main activity, one that I enjoy immensely and need for self-care, but one which does not always allow me the time to produce very much (or any) original content.

And yet, when I did spend time on Pop! I felt like my process was not yet yielding the results I wanted. I had chosen a comic to use a basis for parody -- THE LAST GALACTUS STORY -- and my process was to rewrite it with an eye on satire and then once I had a core plot banged out, I would dress it up with tinsel and garlands, trick it out with a subwoofer and some chrome hub caps to make it less like the original more of my thing.

It's a strong foundation, and I have a lot good ideas and some good stuff written, but something has been missing.

What's missing is a focus on the ordinary, which is also a staple of the Discworld books.

And then Samuel L. Jackson reminded me of how important the ordinary is when juxtaposed with the extraordinary.

In the 1990s, I made a major push (major for me) to start publishing comic books with an idea that I called Night People, an idea from my friend Steve Curl about people who come just at night, which to me seemed to be about the UNDEAD and the classic movie monsters that I love so much.

Since Seinfeld was big at the time, my idea was to do a comic about class monsters "doing nothing," much like Seinfeld promoted itself as a show "about nothing." I wrote a first issue script and a Bible for the series. I worked with an artist, and we started the thing, hit some conventions, generated some interest, collected some emails and postal addresses for a mailing list (this is 1994-1995 after all), but the work fizzled. My teaching work ramped up as I took on extra classes while my freelance writing career really took off and I was writing for reference books, newspapers, and magazines.

But I liked the idea, I still do. Not to ape Seinfeld note for note, I would mix up the formula, but the dialogue rich discussion of the little things of life with snappy comebacks and amusing anecdotes intrigued me. It's definitely something to think about with POP!

And then there's the problem that superheroes are already so chimerical and surreal that they are almost parodies of themselves anyway and in fact sometimes the comics ARE parodies of themselves. But that's a conundrum for another time.

For now, I renew my support for what I love best about comics: the sense of FAMILY.

And along with the bonus content imagery, here's some bonus content thoughts on this book series from my journals in which I free-write ideas.

SOME POP! NOTES

I think of POP! As a kitchen sink kind of thing. I want to pack in as much as I can and amp it all up for comic effect, which is why using THE LAST GALACTUS STORY as a basis for the first POP! Series is a great idea.

I was reminded of this last night as I was reading Charles Stross’ Accelerando: (bottom of page 227): “...the phones on the front desk are already ringing with inquiries from attorneys, fast-food vendors, and a particularly on-the-ball celebrity magazine...” And this reminded me that the media machine’s gears spin and churn all the time. There’s no pause for the system that never sleeps. This is the world of POP! It’s total immersion in AMUSING OURSELVES TO DEATH. It’s a boiling pot of everything and the kitchen sink, which is what is perfect about use of the Galactus story as a spoof. I need to tour the entire POP! Universe.

In reading my new book from the Church of the Subgenius, Revelation X, The Bob Apocryphon, I came across a list on page 116 that intrigued me. It’s a list of near-future prophecies, some of which are just silly, like “As a backlash against animal rights fanatics, Cruelty Plus^tm products introduced.” And though that’s funny, it has no ring of truth. But others caught my eye, especially “Definite link between eating disorders and F-Rays (TV) established. Legislation passed requiring video viewing permit for all citizens over twenty.”

It was the “video viewing permit” that caught my attention. What would the world be like that required a permit to be entertained, to watch TV?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

Legion of Super-Heroes celebrating Christmas. Art by Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez.

-end of the reprint-

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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2212.31 - 10:10

- Days ago = 2738 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I plan to continue Hey Mom posts at least twice per week but will continue to post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

I am Christopher Tower the gmr

I am Christopher Tower (or Chris), and I am a writer of stuff. I grew up in Michigan; I now live in the Portland, OR metro area. I play Ultimate, ride a bike, and supposedly educate college persons while myself being educated in college. I am married with two kids, a beagle, a curly lab, and a fiesty pug/frenche mix. I like sushi. I love all SF, fantasy, comic books, D&D, board games, and Gnosticism. I am a Jungian. I am currently studying Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Walden University.

SENSE OF DOUBT STATUS AS OF 0705.04 - 16:45

Sense of Doubt is not currently dedicated to any themes or special interest. The subject matter is mine and may range from comic books to ultimate or from Baseball to feminist-centered media criticism. Until I feel I have enough content for multiple blogs, or until I am seized with a desire to create multiple blogs, this is it, and appropriately so. "Sense of Doubt" came about in Bowie’s Berlin period and the dark, ambient collaborations with Brian Eno. Like the Bowie of 1978, I have my own darkness that steals over me and through me, infecting everything. At the risk of sounding far too melodramatically obsessed with my own self-flagellations, this blog dedicates itself to that darkness, that infection. But it’s fun, too. Hey, I can be amusing? Or not. It’s the way of the [w]rench. Neurosis compelling action in insecure double-checking and misunderstanding evasions. It is my way.

More from the original description text that needed editing in 2015: Furthermore, Sense of Doubt is dedicated to the random. The theme is no theme. Just questions, doubt, and uncertainty. Feel the power of not knowing the answer. So dedicated on the last day of July 2006 by the Galactic Monkey Wrench.

The Galactic Monkey Wrench

This is the logo of the Galactic Monkey Wrench. I was given the nickname Galactic Monkey Wrench in college by a friend of mine who felt that I threw the monkey wrench into the cosmos at every available opportunity. Later, in discussions with my best friend, who is the Lord of Chaos (the Loc), he asked for my title and when I told him, without thinking, he blurted out "the gmr!" Since this was random and we appreciate randomness, I became the gmr, even though technically I should be the gmw. But gmw sounds like a car or some industrial manufacturing firm that makes a strange widget of which one has never heard. This acronym fetish may make no sense to anyone else, but my friend and I are quite driven to provide acronyms for many things. At the very least, it allows us to keep our conversations obscure and often private as no one knows about what we're talking.

Monkey Wrench Books

Chris's books

A Feast for Crows

by George R.R. Martin

This book is a little slower than the others. But if you become invested in this series, it provides key information about the history of Westeros and the lands across the Narrow Sea. It may not contain chapters with my favorite characters ...

A Game of Thrones

by George R.R. Martin

Do I really need to review this book? It's one of the best books I have ever read. Martin is a great writer. All the books are great, and I am loving my time rereading them. If you have not checked out these books, start here and get ready ...

The Golden City

by John Twelve Hawks

These books are immensely entertaining. Treat yourself to some strong writing, great action, compelling characters, and a mix of metaphysics and theology. The ending of this third book, which is presumably the last, is anti-climactic and so...

Pathfinder

by Orson Scott Card

This was a fun book. Not OSC's best but very good OSC nonetheless. The best thing about is the time travel, slowing, and speeding powers of the characters and how OSC engages the reader in discussion of causality and time paradox. For fans ...

Swamplandia!

by Karen Russell

This book came to me via my wife Liesel who discovered it and urged me to read it. Beautifully written with compelling characters and a sense of the magical (yet realistic, somewhat). Funny yet full of the pathos that marks a good if not gr...

Hey, Mom! The Explanation.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

A Sense of Doubt blog post #2874 - New Year's Eve - Reprint of SoD #2509 from 2021