In recent months, since moving out west, I have moved away from original content, at least as something I manage to feature often. I am always prioritizing work and falling behind and then when I scramble to catch up, I go with easy re-posts. I like sharing other people's content. It provides me with reading material, and in the future, it will provide serendipity as I come across something I either forgot about or forgot to read when I originally posted it. Also, the sharing feels like show and tell: "hey, look, here's this thing I like. I think you will like it, too."
But when I do too much sharing of the content of others without enough commentary by me, I feel like my blog is running on fumes and that maybe the daily schedule is no longer a viable plan for me in terms of how it fits into my new life.
Yadda yadda. I have whined about these things before.
If I do cease daily operations of this feature, it would not be with entry #878. Seems anti-climactic.
Meanwhile, I persevere. I find some down time. I hug puppies. I spend time with my wife. I eat some good food. And the kids start to unpack the Christmas decorations and get the house ready.
Just when I thought I would rewrite the purpose of this blog because I don't really feel like I am on a grief journey anymore -- it's been over two years -- then I see Christmas decorations, I see these photos, and I start missing you all the more, Mom.
Hard to feel too sorry for myself though given that a friend of mine died this week suddenly and unexpectedly leaving behind a wife who loved him dearly and two young children. Missing you Mom, now, two years later, seems trivial and almost insulting to them. So I keep it all in perspective. I get to miss you, but I acknowledge how much greater and more devastating is their tragedy. And they're not the only ones with losses. There are countless other stories that do not compare with mine.
So maybe this why I steer clear of these self-examinations, eh? They seem self indulgent and unnecessary.
But I still miss you, Mom.
And I bought my plane tickets.
I am going back to Michigan for a visit.
Meanwhile, our Christmas tree is up and it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas here.
Reflect and connect.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you, Mom.
I miss you so very much, Mom.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
- Days ago = 880 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1711.30 - 10:10
NEW (written 1708.27) NOTE on time: I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of your death, Mom, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of your death, Mom. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom.