A Sense of Doubt blog post #2904 - Sod Reprint of #1438 - And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery from January 28 2019

https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/0209/moonbees_croman_big.jpg

A Sense of Doubt blog post #2904 - Sod Reprint of #1438 - And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery from January 28 2019

I have been playing this mix this week as it always seems to come to my mind that these late January days are the days for "hiding away."

Here's today's reprint, a music one, from almost this day in 2019.

Thanks for tuning in.

Originally: Monday, January 28, 2019

A Sense of Doubt blog post #1438 - And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery

https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/0209/moonbees_croman_big.jpg

A Sense of Doubt blog post #1438 - And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery

Hi there, It's me again. I have been away for a bit. I am typing these words on Friday February First and sending them back in time to Monday January 28th.

This mix has been in the works for a long time, but I have not published it yet. And I am not overly motivated to always embed each video. So, instead, I have the first video of the 25-song mix below and then at the end of the post, I have the entire mix in both a link and the video pod player from You Tube.

This is also a link (the same one as later):

And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery - Musical Monday Mix for 1901.28

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8f/65/b8/8f65b864fc0cbec2578ca7dd636493a1.jpg

This mix is about that need to hide away.

I am feeling that very strongly this week.

As social as I can be, I am not always comfortable with it, and I need that recluse time, that alone time, for self-care, for sanity, and for peace and blessedness.

If I don't get that time, I go a bit crazy.

And so when "the sky is dark mystery," it's time for hiding away.

Do you feel that, too?

Am I alone?

Do you need what I need?

And so, when I think of this need to be a recluse, a hermit, a shut-in, alone, to have quiet time, to meditate, to read, to think, to shut out the clutter and noise of the world, I think of this song -- "And Hiding Away" -- by Innocence Mission, my favourite song by one of my favourite bands.

And so, when I listen to these songs and as I built this mix, I thought about how in my core and as a child, I am and I was an introvert.

Here's some things I have written about Introversion thus far.

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1058 - Listen to the power of QUIET people

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #323 - More on introverts

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #161 - Introversion - Reprinted T-shirt nonesuchery pt.3

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1136 - Introversion collected and t-shirt reprint - Throwback Thursday for 1812.06

It should be noted that the PJ Harvey song "We Float" comes from my wife, who has been a wellspring of great music for ten years now, who inspires me, and who keeps my passions at a simmer if not a full boil. Just so you know. I don't want to take credit for the discovery of Harvey's song.






"And Hiding Away"
---------------
I prize the cloudy, tearing sky
for the thoughts that flap and fly.
For staying in and reading by.
For sitting under.
I read a book of Madeline
and her friends in two straight lines,
in Paris, in a house with vines
over its old face.
Far, far is Paris...
and the sky is dark with mystery.
Try, catch the thoughts that flap and fly
in the cloudy, tearing sky,
that touch and stir and won't be tied-
and try to speak them.
I think of my old Flower Sky.
Of us, when we thought we were spies.
Of bobbing eggs in Easter dyes.
Of walks in London.
Try, try to hold my love for you,
it knows no measure.
This is a day for hearing bagpipes
somewhere playing.
This is a day for hearing sarabands
and hiding away.
Sky, I hold my tears if you do.
Starling thoughts, go over me

---------------------------------------

I love these lyrics.
I highlighted some of my favourite lines.

Enjoy the music.

Following is a track list and the link and video pod.

https://pxhere.com/en/photo/737753

And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery - Musical Monday Mix for 1901.28

https://pxhere.com/en/photo/737753

1. The Innocence Mission - And Hiding Away

2. The Innocence Mission - Umbrella

3. PJ Harvey - We Float

4. The Innocence Mission - Black Sheep Wall

5. Imogen Heap - Hide And Seek

6. The Innocence Mission - Song About Traveling

7. Beth Orton - She Cries Your Name

8. The Innocence Mission - I Never Knew You From The Sun

9. Sia - Distractions

10. The Innocence Mission - Clear to you

11. The Innocence Mission - Evensong

12. Aleah - Vapour

13. the innocence mission - My Sisters Return from Ireland




14. The Innocence Mission - I Remember Me - US TV debut - LETTERMAN
15. Cocteau Twins - A Kissed Out Red Floatboat - Best Version
16. the innocence mission - Shadow Of The Pines
17. The Innocence Mission - god is love
18. Frou Frou - Breathe In
19. The Innocence Mission - Now In This Hush
20. Mogwai - Ether
21. The Innocence Mission - Sorry And Glad Together
22. Cocteau Twins - Three Swept
23. the innocence mission - She May Turn Around
24. The Sundays - Here's Where The Story Ends
25. The Innocence Mission - Wonder Of Birds

https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1427093

https://m.theepochtimes.com/assets/uploads/2014/11/12/dark-skies-shutterstock_86844088-WEBONLY-550x330.jpg

And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery - Musical Monday Mix for 1901.28

Here's the video pod player for the entire mix:





+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1901.28 - 10:10
- Days ago = 1304 days ago
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2301.30 - 10:10

- Days ago = 2768 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I plan to continue Hey Mom posts at least twice per week but will continue to post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

A Sense of Doubt blog post #1438 - And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery

https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/image/0209/moonbees_croman_big.jpg

A Sense of Doubt blog post #1438 - And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery

Hi there, It's me again. I have been away for a bit. I am typing these words on Friday February First and sending them back in time to Monday January 28th.

This mix has been in the works for a long time, but I have not published it yet. And I am not overly motivated to always embed each video. So, instead, I have the first video of the 25-song mix below and then at the end of the post, I have the entire mix in both a link and the video pod player from You Tube.

This is also a link (the same one as later):

And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery - Musical Monday Mix for 1901.28

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8f/65/b8/8f65b864fc0cbec2578ca7dd636493a1.jpg

This mix is about that need to hide away.

I am feeling that very strongly this week.

As social as I can be, I am not always comfortable with it, and I need that recluse time, that alone time, for self-care, for sanity, and for peace and blessedness.

If I don't get that time, I go a bit crazy.

And so when "the sky is dark mystery," it's time for hiding away.

Do you feel that, too?

Am I alone?

Do you need what I need?

And so, when I think of this need to be a recluse, a hermit, a shut-in, alone, to have quiet time, to meditate, to read, to think, to shut out the clutter and noise of the world, I think of this song -- "And Hiding Away" -- by Innocence Mission, my favourite song by one of my favourite bands.

And so, when I listen to these songs and as I built this mix, I thought about how in my core and as a child, I am and I was an introvert.

Here's some things I have written about Introversion thus far.

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1058 - Listen to the power of QUIET people

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #323 - More on introverts

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #161 - Introversion - Reprinted T-shirt nonesuchery pt.3

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1136 - Introversion collected and t-shirt reprint - Throwback Thursday for 1812.06

It should be noted that the PJ Harvey song "We Float" comes from my wife, who has been a wellspring of great music for ten years now, who inspires me, and who keeps my passions at a simmer if not a full boil. Just so you know. I don't want to take credit for the discovery of Harvey's song.






"And Hiding Away"
---------------
I prize the cloudy, tearing sky
for the thoughts that flap and fly.
For staying in and reading by.
For sitting under.
I read a book of Madeline
and her friends in two straight lines,
in Paris, in a house with vines
over its old face.
Far, far is Paris...
and the sky is dark with mystery.
Try, catch the thoughts that flap and fly
in the cloudy, tearing sky,
that touch and stir and won't be tied-
and try to speak them.
I think of my old Flower Sky.
Of us, when we thought we were spies.
Of bobbing eggs in Easter dyes.
Of walks in London.
Try, try to hold my love for you,
it knows no measure.
This is a day for hearing bagpipes
somewhere playing.
This is a day for hearing sarabands
and hiding away.
Sky, I hold my tears if you do.
Starling thoughts, go over me

---------------------------------------

I love these lyrics.
I highlighted some of my favourite lines.

Enjoy the music.

Following is a track list and the link and video pod.

https://pxhere.com/en/photo/737753

And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery - Musical Monday Mix for 1901.28

https://pxhere.com/en/photo/737753

1. The Innocence Mission - And Hiding Away

2. The Innocence Mission - Umbrella

3. PJ Harvey - We Float

4. The Innocence Mission - Black Sheep Wall

5. Imogen Heap - Hide And Seek

6. The Innocence Mission - Song About Traveling

7. Beth Orton - She Cries Your Name

8. The Innocence Mission - I Never Knew You From The Sun

9. Sia - Distractions

10. The Innocence Mission - Clear to you

11. The Innocence Mission - Evensong

12. Aleah - Vapour

13. the innocence mission - My Sisters Return from Ireland




14. The Innocence Mission - I Remember Me - US TV debut - LETTERMAN
15. Cocteau Twins - A Kissed Out Red Floatboat - Best Version
16. the innocence mission - Shadow Of The Pines
17. The Innocence Mission - god is love
18. Frou Frou - Breathe In
19. The Innocence Mission - Now In This Hush
20. Mogwai - Ether
21. The Innocence Mission - Sorry And Glad Together
22. Cocteau Twins - Three Swept
23. the innocence mission - She May Turn Around
24. The Sundays - Here's Where The Story Ends
25. The Innocence Mission - Wonder Of Birds

https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1427093

https://m.theepochtimes.com/assets/uploads/2014/11/12/dark-skies-shutterstock_86844088-WEBONLY-550x330.jpg

And Hiding Away - The Sky is Dark With Mystery - Musical Monday Mix for 1901.28

Here's the video pod player for the entire mix:





+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1901.28 - 10:10

- Days ago = 1304 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I plan to continue Hey Mom posts at least twice per week but will continue to post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1136 - Introversion collected and t-shirt reprint - Throwback Thursday for 1812.06

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1136 - Introversion collected and t-shirt reprint - Throwback Thursday for 1812.06 - sense of doubt #1385

Hi Mom, I know I have shared this photo before, but it seemed to go so perfectly with the subject of introversion (read on) that I felt a re-share was warranted. Plus, I did not add data about it to the title lines.

You brought me up with protection for my introversion. Not sure where this extraverted, gregarious bloke came from -- what my wife calls my Mr. Aloha personality -- but there he is, standing in the class room, probably talking much louder than he needs to.

Those who are quiet can move mountains without making a sound. Those who talk a lot might yell and yell and never move the mountain.

I just made that up.

I am multi-tasking today, and I am still using the blog to jump start content for school. I already gave a final exam this morning (with donuts! or doughnuts... I have seen it both ways), and now I am fighting the adrenaline let down and nap attack as I have been up since about four a.m. for the fifth day in the last seven.

But I am hanging in there and crossing things off the to do list.

This post is the usual gallimaufry, but it starts its stewy goodness with music and a contemplation of introverts, of which I am part of the club, though I don't always act like it.

MUSIC GOODNESS


CHRYSALIS - Chronotope Project





Wait.... what's this???

PHANTASMAL MUSIC WORD PRESS

For all Ghostly Dark Fans
I’m Valery Dronia fan of paranormal and ghosts.

This blog was created for make some register of dark music artists  inspired who inspired their works on paranormal and ghosts stuff.  You can find here my selection of creepy, ghostly unknown music with links to each artists and albums.

For future reference. Believe me, I will return to this one. I am leaving it here as a big reminder.

I am listening to CHRYSALIS - Chronotope Project as I compose.

INTROVERSION

So I ran a final exam review game in class yesterday, and I noticed something that I should have planned for.

The extraverts excelled, raising their hands even before they were sure they knew thew right answer. But the introverts did not do as well, and two teams did not score any points at all.

NOTE TO SELF: Next time I run such a game, rotate the questions team-to-team. Those with slower hands to raise to answer a question might do well if it's their turn and they have a few seconds to think. Also, control the hand raising before students know the answer, with enforcing my one wrong (two wrong in a row and lose a point?), and you cannot answer next.

But hey, I have not run such a game in a while. I am a little rusty at anticipating how the system will work.

The game did get me thinking about introversion, which is a subject that my Concordia students (and the LCC students for extra credit) will be contemplating for their exam next week.

And so, I decided to offer the Concordia students who are interested extra credit for examining Introversion with these resources, watching Susan Cain's TED talk and exploring these links.

That is all for today. Time to slip into the womb and do introverted things.

Susan Cain: The power of introverts

Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

TEXT FROM SUSAN CAIN'S SITE: Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie’s birthplace to Harvard Business School and from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects.

She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts.

Perhaps the most inspiring part of the book is where Cain introduces us to successful introverts such as a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks or a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions.

Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships and empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a “pretend extrovert.”

This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1058 - Listen to the power of QUIET people

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #323 - More on introverts

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #161 - Introversion - Reprinted T-shirt nonesuchery pt.3

Original blog on introversion

SOUND AND VISION - "Blue, blue, electric blue, that's the color of my room, where I will live, blue blue."

https://365-tshirts.blogspot.com/2013/08/t-shirt-161-blue-in-sport.html

T-shirt #161 - "Blue, Blue, Electric Blue, that's the Color of my room, where I will live..."

"Blue Blue."

Immortal words by David Bowie from "Sound and Vision" a track off his 1977 album Low part of the Berlin trilogy. Arguably, his best album. Definitely, the one I find that I keep coming back to and listening to again the most over the years; it was produced by Brian Eno.

When Bowie released his boxed set career retrospective, he called it Sound and Vision. He also named his 1990 tour "Sound and Vision," a greatest hits tour in which he intended to play his hits for the last time and then retire them. This has not happened, strictly speaking.

All of which I have shared because this shirt is blue.

Just a blue shirt made by InSport. Wicks moisture.

No logo or design. (Well, there is one on the sleeve but I decided to leave it off the picture.)

"Don't you wonder sometime about sound and vision?"

I spend a lot of time thinking.

This may surprise some people, but I am more introvert than extrovert.

It's true.

I can play the part of an "extravert" (to use Carl Jung's spelling), but it's playing a part, and it can cause me enormous anxiety. My base line state of existence, my preference, my natural state is solitude and quiet.

For example, for many years, I took solo vacations up north at the Neahtawanta Inn (as described best in T-shirt #85: Up North). Though sometimes I had a guest with me for a short time, the majority of the time I was alone. I would read, write, run, bike, swim, eat great food, and go see movies at night (sometimes two in one night). These vacations were just what I needed to recharge and prepare for the assault of another Fall-Winter college school semester of teaching classes.

Another example, I like to go to bed early and read. This is something that my wife likes to do as well. Though last night, I had the Tigers game plugged into one ear, for the most part, we had quiet, reading time in bed with each other and the puppy. I could have gone to the KUDL draft, but I was not feeling well, still not fully recovered, and I needed time at home, time alone with my wife and dog. This is what introverts need.

For me, time alone is crucial. My blogging all began during what I used to call "Bloggy Friday" when my parents would leave for my mother's beauty shop appointment (back when I lived them and later when I was there helping out while Liesel was at work) and I would have the house to myself. Peace and quiet and solitude so that I could do whatever I fancied. I liked this time best around the holidays when I could turn on all the lights on the Christmas decorations as the sunlight outside faded away.

I can be a social creature. I am actually a bit more of a social creature than my wife. But I crave alone time, and if I do not get enough of it every week, I start to go a bit bonkers.

from Fight Club

Why am I writing about alone time and introversion?

Well, last night after dinner, my wife asked me to watch some videos with her. They are TED talk videos. If you have not heard of the TED conference and the TED Talks video podcasts, this is something very much worth your time. Do some exploring on YouTube. Or better yet, start with these three videos included farther below.

First, we watched neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor's talk on what she learned about the brain after the stroke she suffered, and the message she has for all of us about our brains. Later, we watched a second video by Jill Bolte Taylor on brain development and the teenage brain, but first, we watched a wonderful talk by Susan Cain on the power of introverts.

I am including all three videos here on today's blog, plus a video for "Sound and Vision" by David Bowie, as my blog always needs more music. I give my wife credit for finding the videos and sharing them with me. My wife is remarkable. This is also further proof that she is perfect for me.

All three videos are extraordinary and very enlightening. However, I was deeply touched by the Susan Cain video about introversion.

Blue seems the right color for quiet time and introverts. Susan Cain's video touched me deeply because I always feel that I am a misunderstood introvert. At one time, my wife teasingly called me "Mr. Aloha" because of my propensity to chat with cashiers or food vendors. But I am an introvert as my previous examples should illustrate. I prefer quiet time, and, out of my element, I tend to keep to myself. But I do like to spread the sunshine. I think that "farting around" and making connections with the people in our community is an important part of each day, or at least that's what I learned from Kurt Vonnegut.

The Jill Bolte Taylor stuff is fantastic for understanding the brain, especially the "Stroke of Insight" video with her description of the gap between right and left brain functions and the world of peace and tranquility she discovered when her left brain shut down.

Grading Robot is in full swing today and thinking a lot about brains and introversion.

I hope you have time watch these videos and think about these things, too.

If so, PLEASE share comments. I would love to have discussions about these ideas.

Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight

Susan Cain: The power of introverts

JBT TEDxYouthIndy

DAVID BOWIE - SOUND AND VISION - LIVE TOKYO 1990

- chris tower - 1308.29 - 8:18

THESE NEEDED REPEATING

As I have written before, I am going to just keep sharing this Mogwai video until it strikes lightning with enough people.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Khalil Gibran pic.twitter.com/TmQ9gtqgvk

— Dr Adi MacArtney (@Science_Hooker) December 6, 2018

Researchers have discovered new details about the Milky Way’s central supermassive black hole. Learn more in @sciam: https://t.co/fiL8i3RTey

— John Templeton Fdn (@templeton_fdn) November 14, 2018

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Reflect and connect.

Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you, Mom.

I miss you so very much, Mom.

Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

- Days ago = 1251 days ago

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1812.06 - 10:10

NEW (written 1708.27) NOTE on time: I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of your death, Mom, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of your death, Mom. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom.

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1058 - Listen to the power of QUIET people

Being quiet is a choice— Pic by Alexandru Zdrobău

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1058 - Listen to the power of QUIET people

Hey Mom,

Okay, so this article caught my attention for the photo (above), I am not going to lie. But it was a photo that re-inforced the ideas discussed here.

I have been trying to value silence more. Listening is powerful. Some spaces need to be opened more effectively by the loud people shutting up for a while and letting silence happen for a short time that may allow those a bit reticent and quiet to speak up.

Often, after a meeting, I seek out the quiet people to hear what they think because often there's great substance to be found in what was happening in their brains during the meeting.

As a big Jungian, I love any article that invokes Jung in any way, but I also like articles that try to end binary thinking.

Jung's types exist on a spectrum. As stated herein, no one is 100% all extravert or introvert. (Often Jung wrote of an "extravert" not "extrovert.") It's a scale. The personality test that tells you that you're in an introvert may actually be indicating that you're 73% introvert and 27% extravert. In branding your type, that's more introvert than extravert, but it does not mean that you have no extraversion at all.

I also love that this article mentions Susan Cain's TED talk. Her book -- The Quiet Revolution -- is also excellent.

I wrote about this subject and shared the Susan Cain TED talk in my t-shirt blog, HERE:

http://365-tshirts.blogspot.com/2013/08/t-shirt-161-blue-in-sport.html

I have also made two posts in introversion here on SENSE OF DOUBT, with these posts, one of which is a T-Shirts re-post:

http://sensedoubt.blogspot.com/2015/12/hey-mom-talking-to-my-mother-161.html

http://sensedoubt.blogspot.com/2016/05/hey-mom-talking-to-my-mother-323-more.html

The best advice I have for people in terms of improving their soft skills, especially cis-white-dudes:

LISTEN.

from - https://medium.com/personal-growth/listen-to-the-power-of-quiet-people-f6c1d0c9de89

Listen to the Power of Quiet People

You don’t need to be loud to be smart

Gustavo Razzetti

Change Instigator helping people and teams lead change. I write to make you think, not to please an algorithm. Get my new Book: http://bit.ly/StretchChange

May 24

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

That’s a tricky question. I have a hard time answering it myself.

That’s the problem of binary questions — you are forced to choose one or the other. Being quiet is a choice — you can be more outspoken in specific scenarios or more withdrawn in others.

Who you are cannot be limited to one label. Especially, when those labels are loaded terms. Our society favors action versus contemplation — extroverts have more positive buzz.

Quiet people have a unique power — everyone, them included, needs to pay more attention to it.

A culture that worships loud people

Our society has a long tradition of trying to define what’s normal — maybe because we have a hard time accepting that we are all unique.

Being left-handed was vigorously oppressed throughout the centuries — lefties were forced to use their right hand to write. Discriminatory practices against left-handers persisted well into the 20th Century.

Similarly, people still believe that being an introvert is not normal — those who act and speak louder are favored.

I remember growing-up, classmates would say, “Why don’t you talk more?” I felt something was wrong with me. I enjoyed listening to others, observing the world, and cultivating my inner-self.

Through time, I became much comfortable with being exposed. I can do a keynote speech in front of thousands of people or facilitate workshops that put me in a vulnerable position. I don’t have an issue exposing myself — many people now believe I’m an extrovert.

So, have I changed?

At some point, I became a victim of the push to being more extroverted. I became too loud — I wasn’t listening or reflecting as much as I usually did. In the past year or so, I’ve been finding balance — I recovered the power of being quiet.

“Society favors a man of actions versus a man of contemplation.” — Susan Cain.

The speaker and author explains on her TED talk how, in the 20th Century, we shifted from a culture of character to one of personality. Being bold, having social influence and charisma became critical traits to define a successful personality

We have an outdated ‘charisma bias’ towards the loud — there’s a cult for charismatic leaders, but that doesn’t warrant better results.

Bill Gates has played a transformational role in the tech world, similar to Steve Jobs. However, in spite of the Gates Foundation social impact, he doesn’t get as much publicity or credit as Apple’s former CEO. Similarly, Steve Wozniak is not as quoted as his co-founder.

The press gives the microphone to those who are loud.

However, most successful stories are the result of collaborations between both introverts and extroverts. Wozniak says that he would never have become a computer expert had he not been too introverted to leave the house when he was growing up.

Quiet people have things to say too and, most of the times, they provide more clarity and depth.

Quiet people have a strong voice

“There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum. “ — Carl Jung

The terms introvert and extrovert were popularized by Carl Jung in the early 20th century, although both the widespread understanding and usage differ from his original intent. People turned it into a binary approach — you are one or the other.

Jung’ suggested that everyone has both extroverted and introverted sides, with one being more dominant than the other.

Free yourself from the extrovert or introvert label trap.

The Swiss psychologist explained how we recharge our brain differently: Introverts by spending time alone; Extroverts from other people. Similarly, Hans Eysenck proposed that each type has different levels of arousal — their minds and bodies are more responsive to different stimulation.

According to the English psychologist, extroverts have a lower rate of arousal. They need to work harder to get stimulated to the same level than introverts. That’s why extroverted people seek bold challenges, new experiences, and crave for company.

Conversely, quiet people don’t need others to feel recharged. Their voices are already strong — they don’t need to speak louder. Also, being alone with one’s thoughts can be as restorative as sleeping.

Introverts are active when they are quiet.

Introverts have a lot to say but also value the power of being quiet. Silence is not the absence of words, but the presence of focus. The only thing introverts hate more than talking about themselves is repeating themselves.

Purposeful silence is a beautiful thing

“There is always music amongst the trees, but our hearts must be still to hear it.” — Minnie Aumonier

Being quiet is a choice, not a permanent status.

Mental noise can destroy our minds, as I wrote here. Silence is an endangered species that we need to take care about. Noise is both a distraction and escapism. Silence is more than the absence of noise — it allows the presence of everything else.

For Japanese people, silence is an essential form of non-verbal communication — it’s a sign of respect and personal distance. For Westerners, silence means something is wrong. That’s the biggest mistake extroverts make — they assume that, when people are quiet, it’s because they are doubtful, lonely or suffering.

Silence gives you the freedom to be yourself. It’s a beautiful choice that can reap many benefits.

• You listen more to others. Listening is the most essential part of a conversation. We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen as twice as much as we speak as Epictetus said.
• You avoid getting involved in ill conversations. The need to speak is an easy trap — we all become victims of our desire to add to the conversation. Gossiping, criticizing, expressing opinions about what we don’t know are clear examples of doing unnecessary talking.
• You pause and observe life. Talking too much keeps our brain busy. As the Japanese proverb says: “To fill a cup of tea, you have to empty it first.” When you stop talking, you start paying attention to the world around you.
• You learn from others. Rather than jumping into quick conclusions, you can listen to different voices. Not only you learn from others, but it also helps you walk in their shoes. Understanding diverse perspectives is critical to avoid being judgmental.
• You can spend more time getting to know yourself. Silence allows your inner-voice to speak up and get familiarized with your inner-self. To know yourself is to accept yourself. However, too much self-examination can kill you, as I explain here.

Permanent silence is not always good either — life is a balancing act.

Quiet people need more safe time

The fear of being ignored, criticized, or attacked by others prevent people from sharing their true thoughts.

Google research discovered that Psychological Safety can make or break a team. People want to feel safe to express their opinions without the fear of being judged by others.

This notion applies to any team — working, sports, friends and family relationships must provide a safe space for everyone to speak up. Quiet people need safe time — let them choose when to talk and respect their opinions.

The practice of Psychological Safety encourages two practices.

1. Conversational turn-taking:

Everyone should have its turn to speak — avoid one person taking over the conversation. Women feel that they are more often being interrupted by men. The same happens to African Americans or Latinos — sometimes being a minority makes you quieter. Encourage a space where everyone’s voice not only can be listened to but also respected.

2. Social sensitivity:

Any group — socially or at work — should get better at reading non-verbal cues. Not every silence is the same. Understanding the nuances can help you adjust your behavior. Research by Adam Grant has found that introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes than extroverts do because they’re much more likely to let those employees run with their ideas. Whereas extroverts can get so excited that they put their own stamp on things, overshadowing other people’s ideas.

Accept quiet people as they are. If you lean towards being an extrovert, don’t expect others to behave as you do.

Five ways to give room to quiet people

Quiet people need space too — just as loud people do. These exercises will help provide it.

If you tend to talk too much, they will help you value other people’s silence. If you are on the quieter side of the spectrum, share the exercises with your friends and colleagues.

1. No-interruptions rule

It’s more difficult for women to earn recognition for making a valuable contribution than it is for men. The same happens to quiet people. Make space for everyone to have its turn to share their thoughts and opinions — everyone should agree to abide by the one-voice-at-a-time practice.

A ‘no-interruptions’ rule in meetings or social gatherings helps everyone voices be heard, not just those of loud people.

2. Ask for feedback in advance

Quiet people don’t like to provide feedback on their feet. They prefer to take time to review information before they share their opinions. LinkedIn launched the “Quiet Revolution” to recognize the voice of introverts versus extroverts and teach leaders how to pull the most out of everyone.

Quiet people are given the notes of a meeting in advance so that they can prepare and have a point of view beforehand. Introverts can share their notes and ideas that are added to a website after the meeting.

3. Use physical space wisely

Humans tend to move from one extreme to the other. In the case of office space, we jumped from closed to open spaces without any balance. Some activities require collaboration among large teams, others small social interactions. Many, demand privacy to reflect quietly on specific issues.

Introverts don’t thrive in an extrovert-centric workplace. Create quiet spaces and experiences for both individuals and small teams.

4. Recover the value of silence

You don’t need to be loud to be smart. Silence adds rhythm and intentionalityto your life. When you stop, everything else becomes visible. Encourage those around you to experience how it feels to be quiet but, most importantly, to benefit from silence.

Try not speaking for a couple of hours. If you tend to be the first to give an opinion, force yourself to be the last one. Not just to hold your horses, but to actively listen to others. Pay attention. Most of the time silence means that your ideas add nothing to what has already been said. And that’s okay.

5. Get rid of the binary approach

The introvert versus extrovert thing is doing no one a favor. Choosing sides is never a good thing. Avoid the labels by creating collaboration opportunities. We need both quiet and noise.

Organizations of all types must embrace and promote the collaboration between the quiet and the loud. Stop extroverts rules from bullying introverts because they choose silence.

Silence is a space. Use it wisely. Invite the unexpected to happen.

Create a culture of belonging where everyone feels welcome for whom they are without having to please other people’s expectations.

Increase Your Self Awareness

Receive my weekly “Insights for Changemakers”: Sign Up Now

Download my free ebook: Stretch Your Mind

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Reflect and connect.

Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.

I miss you so very much, Mom.

Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

- Days ago = 1060 days ago

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1805.29 - 10:10

NEW (written 1708.27) NOTE on time: I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of your death, Mom, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of your death, Mom. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom.