A Sense of Doubt blog post #4212 - SoD Reprint from 2025 (3692) - The Orphaned Adult

Me and Dad 1708.29 home at 1785 Blacktail Lane

A Sense of Doubt blog post #4212 - SoD Reprint from 2025 (3692) - The Orphaned Adult

Several things to share before the reprint.

1. I am starting a run of a week of reprints in honor of my father who died two years ago as of yesterday.

2. Today is nine years exactly since that picture above was taken the day we arrived in my new home after driving across country. 

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #782 - Arrival - My New Home - Trip West Day Seven

3. This book, The Orphaned Adult, has become very important to me in counseling people who have lost their parents and grief counseling in general.

4. The post I am reprinting was published on the 28th of the month, same day Dad died.

5. POWER WASHING WENT GREAT and I channeled Dad to solve various problems even though I was tempted to get help.

BEFORE

AFTER

6. That picture up top is my favorite of me and my dad in the years after my Mom died.

7. I am doing well. I process all this grief and loss so I am not blind sided by unresolved feelings at these key times. I am fine.

Thanks for tuning in!



Link to the original post I am reprinting below:

Friday, March 28, 2025

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3692 - SEVEN Months and The Orphaned Adult By Alexander Levy

Me and Dad Tigers Opening Day April 2016

Today is also the first official and domestic day of Baseball season, which is one of the things that brings me the most joy and comfort in my life. Welcome back Baseball. Thanks Dad for introducing me to Baseball.

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3692 - SEVEN Months and The Orphaned Adult By Alexander Levy

Am I going to commemorate each month passed since Dad died and each significant number (hundreds, fifties)?

For at least this first year, yes, almost certainly.


Here's what I have done so far:

After a single month, I posted many items around September 28th for what I posted past years on August 28th, but on September  28th itself, I had to post this:

Saturday, September 28, 2024

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3511 - THE DETROIT TIGERS CLINCH A WILD CARD SPOT!!!

Not specifically about the one month since Dad died, but Dad would appreciate the post. After all, I had the Cubs game on my phone in his final hours. Baseball comforts me.

The next two months, though, I did directly acknowledge Dad's death anniversary with the November one falling on Thanksgiving.

Monday, October 28, 2024

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3540 - 60 DAYS since Dad left and MUSIC MONDAY - "DownPressor Man"

Thursday, November 28, 2024

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3572 - THANKSGIVING 2024 - DAD: Three Months Ago - Reprints and Happy Wishes

But in December, I just posted this fun post, though the next two, especially January, acknowledge Dad as well as the 180 and 200 days posts.

Saturday, December 28, 2024

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3602 - Various Images - Christmas Counseling Humor and More

Tuesday, January 28, 2025

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3633 - FIVE MONTHS LATER (and SoD Reprint of #3084 from 2023)

Friday, February 28, 2025

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3664 - SoD Reprint of #1470 from 2019 - 1972 Throwback

It seems to me that as the months have passed the incredulity I experience in reflecting on my Dad being GONE compels me to write about it and publish those thoughts on the month anniversary and some of the other numbers that feel significant.

I chose to wait and write this post the day AFTER the twenty-eighth, in part to digest my feelings, but also to do some things just for me on the day. Though I had two appointments, one being at the dentist, I had lunch at Thai Orchid, which is the first place I ate when I moved here and I ate there with my Dad, Liesel, and the kids. I ordered the same thing I had then, eight years ago (another eight!!). I read poetry and made some notes for poems. It felt good to do that.

Today, in my Forgotten English page-a-day calendar, the word is "apologue," which is a moral fable that uses a fiction to convey useful truths, such as by Aesop. The word originates in Greek with apologos, which means "fable."

The calendar also shares stories or some historical fact that may or may not be related to day's word (see below).

The story of King Tantalus struck a chord.

I feel tantalized by a thing I cannot have: my parents.

I lived for 62 years with parents in my life, and for 53 years with both of them.

And now, they are gone. 

And yet, they linger, like that water or that ripe, low-hanging fruit teasing Tantalus but forever unattainable.

In my last therapy appointment, I talked with my therapist about having a difficult time accepting the death of my parents, especially my Dad's death.

I can't remember exactly what he asked me, but I think it was something like "what would accepting it look like for you?"

I talked about how the culture at large expects grieving people to "get over it" and to "move on."

No one wants to hear about someone's grief after a few weeks have passed. Few ask about it, especially when someone is grieving an elderly parent, someone whose time it was to shuffle off the mortal coil.

It seems to me that these things are what "acceptance" is, but I don't think I will EVER "get over it," and what is "moving on" anyway? 

In grieving my Mom's death, I wrote HEY MOM for three years every day, but the majority of those posts were not about grief at all; they were about life, living, my life, my living.

Likewise, a month to the day after Dad died I posted about the Detroit Tigers and did not mention my Dad at all. Granted, all around that post were the reprints of past August 28th posts that were all acknowledging how the 28th, especially August 28th, was a significant date that I would never see the same way ever again.

I announced Dad's death on the 28th of August and then went into reprint mode of posts with old family photos and other relevant content. I finally came out of reprint mode September 10th with a round up of the DNC, which happened before Dad died and that I cried all the way through. I posted his obituary, finally, on September 13th, but I was getting back to normal with a mix of posts directly related to Dad and his death, like this one (a favorite):

Tuesday, September 17, 2024

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3500 - Ellory loves Grandpa -- Reprint of Hey Mom #779 - Havre, Montana - Trip West Day Four

Oh wow... scrolling through that post I just came across this picture.

Dad was wearing that shirt above when he died, very close to seven years later (and this post is about seven months -- more number connections). This picture above was taken August 24, 2017. The 24th...  8/24... more eights!!

My point being that after a month, I was no longer posting all the time about my Dad dying. The posts about my life and interests far out number those related to Dad's death.

And now, seven months later, that's definitely true. I did just write 200th day since he died, which was twelve days ago, and before that I acknowledged 180 days since. But generally, posts are what the blog posts have always been about: music, comics, science, writing, poetry, politics (state of the hate nation), teaching, and so on.

Since my therapy appointment two weeks ago, I started reading a book called The Orphaned Adult by Alexander Levy.

I plan to take this book to my next appointment on Monday.

Circling back to this idea of "getting over it" or "moving on," I watched my mother NEVER get over the death of her mother from before I was born. She still cried about it even a few years before her own death. She cried more after the meningitis, as that experience, the coma, the paralysis, made all of us so much more emotional, especially her.

But she never got over her Mom's death.

Or her brother Wilbur.

She seemed less traumatized by her father's death, but she did grieve him.

I don't think my Dad really "got over" the death of his parents either.

In  The Orphaned Adult, on page 38, Alexander Levy makes clear that the grieving DO NOT NEED TO GET OVER IT (the deaths of parents). "Grief is something you get through, and if you let it get through you as well, you will eventually find that you have room in yourself to contain it" (Levy, 38).

I really liked this quote as it turned over my own thinking and feeling about grief, kind of like I had been living in upside down world, and now I can at least see into if not live in right-side up world.

I understood that grief is something we "get through," but I had never conceived of it as something that we let "get through us."

What does that mean? How do I let grief get through me? Does that mean it exits? Or is it more like channeling?

Because what I learned from losing my Mom is that grief feels more like a feedback loop, much like our own annual seasons. There are fallow times. There's hibernation. And then there's awakening and new growth, a flare up, over-growth, until the next time of fallow fields and cave hibernations.

Levy goes on to write that "when you come out the other side of this terrible time, without needing to understand how it happened any more than you need to understand how you digest food and distribute nutrients throughout your body in order to be well fed, you will find that you are able to face, and conduct, your life in a new way" (Levy, 38). 

I already feel like I am facing and conducting my life in a new way, and in a way that is growing and evolving. I am not sure how to explain this new way as it's more of a feeling, an intuition, than something that is definable. I am not even sure what it is or how it works yet.

But I am also still in the feedback loop. I am still experiencing anger at my Dad for dying. I am still experiencing disbelief that he's gone. I think I have passed through the disbelief that my mother is gone when I think of her alone, but when I consider her with Dad, the fact that I am an orphan, I feel a strong urge to dismiss the reality of the situation, as I told my therapist, like a child stamping his feet and raging against the way things are, the way he does not wish them to be.

I have been depressed and have been trying to fight that with self-care.

I have been bargaining, weighing myself down with recriminations and regrets: had I only done more, had I flown sooner to Michigan, had Dad not contracted Covid, etc. etc.

I miss my parents every day.

I think about them every day.

Levy says that there will be a time when I do not think about them every day, or at least do not feel the grief every day. I did experience that with my Mom.

Part of what keeps me thinking of them is our new scrolling photo frame that keeps showing me pictures of them even when I am not looking at shelves where I have other, non-digital ones.

I have more to process about this grief and this book in particular in future posts. Stay tuned.

This is a good chunk for today.

Thanks for tuning in.

Reference

Levy, Alexander. The Orphaned Adult: Understanding And Coping With Grief And Change After The Death Of Our Parents. Hachette Books. Kindle Edition. Balance Pub. 2000. ISBN: 978-0738203614

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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2503.28 - 13:40

(PUBLISHED today at 13:40 for Dad)

- Days ago: MOM = 3557 days ago & DAD = 212 days ago
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2608.29 - 13:40

- Days ago: MOM = 4076 days ago & DAD = 730 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3887 - Letter to Dad #005 - Fallen Angel

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3887 - Letter to Dad #005 - Fallen Angel

Hi Dad, It's going to be a short letter this week because I am behind schedule (it's Saturday as I write for this Thursday post), and I am tired. I stayed up late to watch the 15 inning pitching deadlock between the Detroit Tigers and Seattle Mariners last night in the win-or-go-home, deciding GAME FIVE of the ALDS. Tigers lost.

I am eating oatmeal and easing into my morning by catching up on blog posts. I need to go running this morning to "simulate" an Ultimate game as I foolishly registered for a hat tournament one week from today (today when I am writing which is 10/11, so 10/18 is the tourney) that is raising money for Palestine. Even if I only play a handful of points, it may be a success, and I may meet some cool people; it's in Portland.

Today's letter is about the symbolic photo above.

That's Mom's "Angel of the Kitchen" figurine, which I took after she died. At some point in recent years, the coiled metal wings broke off. I tried to glue them with no success. Recently, I saw the same figurine at the Hallmark store in Hazel Dell. So, I could get an inexpensive replacement if I want. But, for one thing, that would not be MOM's figurine. And I realized that the photo is symbolic of what happened to Mom, who was our Angel of the Kitchen, until her wings broke, and we had to become HER Angels of the Kitchen.

I think about those years a lot, Big Guy. I am still trying to make sense of how much closer we became as we had to rally together to care for Mom. You did the majority of that care. The whole experience changed you. More of your Mom came out in you as the aspects like your Dad faded. I wish Mom had not been paralyzed as we discussed many times, but the experiences in those fifteen years after I would not trade for anything. If Mom could have avoided the paralysis and we could have grown closer as we all did, then that would have been perfect.

I think about all that a lot.

Our fallen angel.

And now you're both fallen.

I think about that a lot, too.

I can't get out of here without sharing a song that comes to mind. Apparently, there's also a King Crimson song called "Fallen Angel" from Red, which I quite forgot, but I am not sharing that one. Maybe if I make a Fallen Angel mix. :-)

As for the Robbie Robertson song, I also quite forgot that Peter Gabriel sings on it.

Fitting that this video shows sunlight through trees as I feel closest to you and Mom out in nature.

Love you.

Miss you both, Dad.

Love,

christopher

Robbie Robertson - Fallen Angel featuring Peter Gabriel

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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2510.09 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3752 days ago & DAD = 406 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3880 - Letter to Dad #004 - Center of Gravity

Mom and Dad at Turkeyville Christmas Show 1311.14

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3880 - Letter to Dad #004 - Center of Gravity

Hi Big Guy,

The phrase "center of gravity" came into my head the other day.

Since you died, I have felt like I lost my center of gravity because that's what you and Mom were for me for so many years: my center of gravity.

Yes, I am married and have two great kids and dogs and many friends. And yet, our family, the two of you and Lori, were our whole world for so long.

Especially after Mom was paralyzed by the meningitis, taking care of her became a full-time job and the central focus of our lives.

I discussed with you that as much as losing her hurt when she died in 2015, you were still here and that center of gravity still had focus. And now, you're gone and that focus I relied on for my whole life is gone. I am trying to re-focus because I should be able to do that. I have my self, I have others as mentioned, but it's different: you and Mom not being here feels unnatural.

That's why the biggest thing I took from the book The Orphaned Adult is the statement that we do not get through grief, we do not "get over it, instead we find ways to cope, ways for our life to contain the loss.

I am managing with that process. I am hardly lost or destroyed. I am resilient. 

I write about it all because I am trying to process these feelings. Maybe someone comes across my blog in an online search and gains something from it. Maybe a friend actually clicks through and reads what I have put here. And if none of those things happen, I am writing for me, I am writing to you for me.

We were always so different. You are better at letting things go. Mom and I hold on to them. I find that this "holding on" helps me to understand myself and the world around me. I am functioning just fine, but I try not to repress emotions that I should confront and work though.

I know you understand, as you would say if you were here. You might also admonish me with an "oh Christopher" because you think your way is better. But it's not better for me or Mom. I think you learned that later in life. You learned to accept and be understanding of Mom's mental health issues. And you saw those same concerns with me. I am now studying how to help people with their mental health. I am not sure I am going to be successful at it, but I am keen to try. After all, I have had several blows to my mental health in the last two years alone, and I have seen how resilient I am. Selfcare is REALLY important.

As much as I like my life right now, as much as I am surrounded by love and life experiences, I miss you and Mom. I wish you were here. I tell Ellory about you too and how much I miss you every night before bed. She's even more sensitive than I am. I am just trying to figure out where my center of gravity is now that you and Mom are gone. And maybe the answer is just that it's me, it's in me, because that's where you and Mom are now: in me.

Love,

christopher

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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2510.02 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3745 days ago & DAD = 399 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3866 - Letter to Dad #002 - The Paul Weller Pilgrimage

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3866 - Letter to Dad #002 - The Paul Weller Pilgrimage

Hi Big Guy,

I am practicing control by not putting everything in one letter as I am doing one each week.

I need to get going on some errands, soon.

A year ago tomorrow I made a pilgrimage to Seattle to see Paul Weller in concert.

I would not have been able to make that trip and go to that concert without you, Dad.

Monday, September 30, 2024

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3513 - Paul Weller in Concert - Moore Theater, Seattle, Thursday Sept 19 2024 - Music Monday for 2409.30

The link leads to a post with a much more expansive description and explanation with lots of photos.

I missed seeing the Jam and never tried to see Style Council or Paul Weller as a solo act, even though I have followed his career closely since the 1980s.

I cried through a lot of the concert.

Not just because you had died less than a month before, Dad, but also because of how meaningful it was to me to see Paul Weller. Many of the songs had the kind of emotional content that  really spoke to me. And just the emotions of being there and seeing one of my favorite artists.

I felt you with me when I was there, Big Guy.

Being able to go to this concert and spend the night in Seattle meant so much to me, Dad, but I would have gladly traded it all if you had not died.

This concert is just one more thing I am grateful for in my life that came from you.

More next week.

Love,

christopher

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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2509.18 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3731 days ago & DAD = 385 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3859 - Letter to Dad #001 for Thursday September 11th

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3859 - Letter to Dad #001 for Thursday September 11th


Hi Dad (Big Guy), 

Two weeks ago was the one-year anniversary of your death. I was not ready to write about you and that year of grieving yet when I reached the day.

I am ready now.

Before I dive in, I should acknowledge that today is September 11th and the 24th anniversary of the terrorist attack that killed so many at the World Trade Center and on the other planes. My heart is always with all those who died and the survivors and all the families. Of course. But today, for me at least, is about something else.

I conceived this feature that I am going to run every Thursday because the one year anniversary fell on Thursday this year. You died last year on Wednesday, August 28th at 13:40 EDT.

I am not fully prepared for today's missive, so I will keep it short.

What I need to do is prep next week's right away and start adding to it as I think of things. Probably also setting up future weeks so as not to dump all my thoughts in one week.

On the one year anniversary of your death I set an alarm for both the actual time of your death, which is 10:40 a.m. my time, but then also for the time by numbers, 13:30 PDT, which is what I use for both yours and Mom's death times.

I published all of the blog posts for August 25th - 31st at the time of your death, 13:40.

And the day after the anniversary of your death, I spent a nice day in Portland.

I don't like the word "anniversary" for the one-year mark since you died. An anniversary is something we celebrate. I didn't celebrate. I acknowledged.

Even though I know that what lies beyond feels more like home than this mortal realm, that it is a place of pure love. So in that sense, it is something that should be and could be celebrated.

But I miss you (and MOM) too much to celebrate.

So, in the spirit of keeping this short, one other thing and then I will sign off.

Every night at bed time I tell Ellory (my eight year old lab puppy) what I call the NUMBERS, a series of things meant to quell her anxieties as she has a lot of anxiety.

For a year now, ever since I returned home here from being with you as you died and then helping with the memorial service, as part of the fourth and final number about how many people love her, I tell Ellory about how much you loved her and how much she loved you, how I think about you and Mom all the time and will remind her of them every night. She never knew Mom given that we adopted her over a year after Mom died. But she knew and loved you, and you loved her.

Remember how excited she was to see you when you visited in 2022?

Remember how I foolishly did a practice before our move out west and gave you Ellory even though she was not yet a year old and you were 82 at the time? And you fell over with her, into the weeds along the parkway trail. Thankfully, you were not hurt.

Ellory loved to take a nap with you as she did here on our drive west. Her loves you.

I do, too.

More next week dad, Big Guy.

Love,

Christopher

This picture is from August 25, 2017, almost exactly eight years before you took your last breath.

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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2509.11 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3724 days ago & DAD = 378 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3846 - One Year Ago - The Next Day

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3846 - One Year Ago - The Next Day

Hi Dad (Big Guy), You died a year ago yesterday. I was holding your hand. 

I didn't write about it in yesterday's post. I thought the day would be harder than it was. I have been living with grief since Mom died in 2015. I understand myself. I know to let the grief through me. I am grieving, but I can cope.

This one with you feels harder. As I have shared before, when Mom died, you were still with us, and we leaned on each other. Now, you're gone, and though I have many loved ones, I don't have you or Mom.

And that's weird. It's wrong. I still have a lot of disbelief about it all.

Yesterday was a nice day. I wrote on my book, did some work, did some things around the house, spent time in the hammock on the porch reading, and enjoyed a delicious Wurst dinner from Gustavs -- traditional German, like the Old German in Ann Arbor or that place next to Mary Free Bed, the name of which I have forgotten.

And then today, I went into Portland. Did some shopping. Had lunch at Phuket Cafe, excellent Thai food. Sat outside in an outdoor area shaped like a train car. Found a new bookstore next to Tin House. Then had some porch time. Excellent day. Oh, and DID NO WORK. I had discussion board replies due, and I decided they would be 12 or so hours late. I needed to step away from all that stuff. I even did a little writing on my book.

I am honoring you and thinking of you (and Mom) often. In many ways.

I wouldn't want you to be in pain or have low quality of life, but I do wish you were still here. I know that's selfish because where you are is HOME, a place of pure love.

I do sense you and Mom with me all the time.

Thanks for giving me such a great life.

Love you,

Christopher



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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2508.29 - 13:40

- Days ago: MOM = 3711 days ago & DAD = 365 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

ADDED: For this week only (August 25-31 2025), in honor of the one year since, I am going to post at 13:40 Pacific Time. My Dad died at 13:40 Eastern, which would be 10:40 Pacific, but I am not going to make the conversion.

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3845 - One Year Ago Today

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3845 - One Year Ago Today


One year ago today at the time of the publication of this post my Dad, Robert B. Tower, died as I held his hand.

He was 89 years old.

Though this post will publish at 13:40 Pacific time, Dad died at 13:40 Eastern time, 10:40 Pacific, which is the time now as I write these words.

I set an alarm today for both the actual time of death -- 10:40 a.m. Pacific -- and the more significant time by number in Pacific time, 13:40 PDT.

Perhaps dramatic of me to post an all black image and a cryptic title.

But I have learned, like with Mom's 10th anniversary of her death last month, maybe writing a lot just now is not the thing to do. I am actually working on one of my novel projects.

More about grief and Dad and a year ago later on.

Thanks for tuning in.

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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2508.28 - 13:40

- Days ago: MOM = 3710 days ago & DAD = 364 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

ADDED: For this week only (August 25-31 2025), in honor of the one year since, I am going to post at 13:40 Pacific Time. My Dad died at 13:40 Eastern, which would be 10:40 Pacific, but I am not going to make the conversion.

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3816 - SoD Reprint of #1095 from 2018 - Throwback, Photos, PENULTIMATE HEY MOM #1095

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3816 - SoD Reprint of #1095 from 2018 - Throwback, Photos, PENULTIMATE HEY MOM #1095

So, another reprint, and then another Sunday, but two school posts in between. On Saturday, a post for Ryne Sandberg who died Monday.

I am at low power but not officially low power mode.

Writing a 47-page research project quite shell-shocked me. Long day on Sunday to finish it. Of course, it didn't need to be 47 pages. It didn't even need to 17 pages. But I learned a lot writing it and feel it's a very in-depth investigation of what I was asked to write, which was analyzing four events from my life from a developmental science perspective. All of that effort, especially Friday-Sunday, left me spent, and I have not done a whole lot on Monday or Tuesday of this week. So, easy posts were a good choice. Plus, I posted five blog posts yesterday to social media, even though I had two of them published already.

This reprint is the PENULTIMATE daily HEY MOM post, meaning that #1096 was the last consecutive daily HEY MOM, which I ended after three years of consecutive posting.

I wrote about some of these things here:

Friday, July 4, 2025

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1251 (SoD #3790) - Ten Years Ago Today: Marjorie Tower - 1936-2015

and

Monday, July 7, 2025

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3793 - Ten Years of Sense of Doubt (and Hey Mom) - The Theme Song

I am rather proud of my blog, and especially of the three years of consecutive HEY MOM posts. Doing that, really helped me find a way for my life to contain the grief of losing my Mom. I continue that work now following the death of Dad, coming up on one year ago.

One thing I do that helps is the daily count of days since my parents died.

Mom's count is up to 3681 days as of today, though that counts the day of her death and today's date as well as I explain above in post #3793.

However, Dad's count -- #335 -- is marching toward that one year mark. I realized when I looked at the number today one of the ways I cope with that count. When the count was low, I could assure myself that it just happened, he just died, not that long ago. As the count grows, and soon it will reach 365, I understand that I do the count, I watch the count, to come to accept the reality of this loss. In a sense the loss both grows with that number and lessens. It grows in the sense of how long I am living without Mom or Dad (or both), and it lessens the intense pain of the experience as the farther I get from it, the more accepting I am of it.

Also, as I watch the months progress, a part of me is comforted by how "it is not August yet." I literally say that to myself. Even today, just two days from August, I can still say it. I will say it tomorrow. And then it will be August, and that's the month in which Dad died. And then the new thing will be not yet in the August 20s. Still weeks away. And then, it will be August 28th, the day itself. And that might be a difficult day.

Anyway, thanks for tuning in.

On to today's cool reprint.

BTW, the photo (above and below) was taken through a window that looked into a pool at some hotel. My Dad was not under water with a water-proof camera.


The original link to the post I am reprinting below:

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1095 - Throwback Thursday for 1807.05

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1095 - Throwback Thursday for 1807.05

Hi Mom,

Tomorrow will be the last of the daily transmissions of Hey Mom. I am continuing Hey Mom as a feature but mostly just twice a week unless special occasions or inspirations necessitate more.

But today, somewhat chatty. And then a reprint with a lot of Mom photos.

As I shared yesterday, I feel closest to you in nature, Mom, mainly because I feel close to the spiritual there. The nature here in our new home is even more deeply spiritual and older than that of Michigan, though this is surely just a feeling that's not based in accuracy. Mountains inspire thoughts of the age of the earth and our brief time here as humans compared to the overall length of the planet's history thus far.

So, Liesel and I took two hikes lately: Sunday down in the Tillamook State Forest along the Wilson River Trail, with the dogs, which is a bit challenging, and then yesterday, Wednesday, July 4th, around Coldwater Lake at the base of Mt. St. Helens, without the dogs. I would have liked to be on the hike at the time of your death, but we couldn't even make it there by the equivalent time in this time zone, (10:10 a.m.) let alone being on the trail at 7:10 a.m. We're not morning exercise people.

But one good thing is that we're jazzed to take more hikes. Maybe as soon as this weekend. We also want to go Kayaking.

In other news, the Tigers lost both of their games to the Cubs in Wrigley, and apparently back east, near our old home, it's really hot. People were suffering from heat exhaustion. I could have elected to stay home yesterday to watch the game, but I didn't want to be home on the anniversary of your death, Mom. I want to be out living life, being active, having fun. It's what you want for me. I feel it.

In other other news, things are progressing slowly. I did not make as much progress with job search or coding while on breaks from Park and CTU as I would have liked. But I am undaunted. I will keep at it.

Just basically daily chores take a lot of time -- errands, kitchen clean up, watering the lawn and plants, dog care (walks), trash, laundry, and really, I need to find time to do some more cleaning rather than just spot cleaning; I pick up clumps of dog hair when I see them.

I also wanted to assemble my bike -- front tire was removed in the move -- and take it for a spin.

Beyond that, there's not much to report. I am reading as much as I can and have time for. Comic books are a solace. I am reading Nick Harkaway's Gnomon in the traditional way, and I am almost done with Stephen King's latest -- The Outsider -- as my audio book.

Also, I am trying to sit outside for one-three hours a day when the sun is high in the sky and my back porch is actually shady. Today I plan to do some coding while sitting out there.

I have been trying to get more work done during the week, so I have less to do on the weekend. I don't like putting in major hours on the weekend, especially Sunday.

I took off Wednesday from work completely, 100%. I did not check my classes and did zero work. This kind of break rarely happens.

I am not sure what I am going to write tomorrow for the last daily, consecutive Hey Mom post. But I do know that I will be back next week to continue our conversation, Mom, and with some new photos (back to series one).

Did I mention that I am going back to Michigan in August? I am. More on that later. I need to start creating my schedule.

So for now, a reprint of one of my better photo galleries. Lots of variety here.

From -

http://sensedoubt.blogspot.com/2017/01/hey-mom-talking-to-my-mother-544-2016.html

Mom looking all Jackie K in convertible

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #544 - 2016, the blog that was, Mom Photos, the other years in pictures - clearing out my folder

Hi Mom,

It's 2017, which marks the start of a second year with out you.

I am clearing out my folder and in a mode of pictures only.

Here's a celebration to you, including pictures of many of your things still in place at the condo you shared with Dad: your cooks books and your cat picture wall.

I love you.

Mom and Dad 39th Wedding Anniversary

MOM and Dad - APX Christmas Formal 5612.14

MOM and Dad - APX Christmas Formal 5712.14

Mom and Dad Cub's Fish Roast 1998

Mom and Delbridge family 11-10-1991

Mom and Grandpa Delbridge 5-23-1998

Mom and us with friends in Wales June 1986

Mom at Turkeyville 2011

Mom Birthday 1998

Mom birthday 1999

Mom birthday dinner Claras BC 10-96

Mom coming down aisle to marry Dad 1958

Mom Lori and Dad 10-9-98-RBT pinned Lori Oshtemo Rotary

Mom Merle Norman Ad-08-1994

Mom metrbt-1997-zoo

Mom stuff 1610.21 taken

Mom stuff 1610.21 taken

Mom stuff 1610.21 taken

Mom stuff 1610.21 taken

Mom with Delbridge Family - June 1986 Lois Graduation Party

Mom's Cat Wall

Mom's Cat Wall

Mom's Cat Wall

Mom's Favorite Mustard

Mom's shirt in my closet

MOM-cbt birthday 2007 001

MOM-in the convertible

Mom-Rykses-Oct-Nov-98

Mother's Day 2012

Mother's Day 2010

Brick in Memorial Garden at
Richland Presbyterian Church taken 1610.21 w-dad

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- Days ago = 546 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1701.01 - 10:10
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Reflect and connect.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you, Mom.
I miss you so very much, Mom.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
- Days ago = 1097 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1807.05 - 10:10
NEW (written 1708.27) NOTE on time: I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of your death, Mom, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of your death, Mom. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom.
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2507.30 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3681 days ago & DAD = 335 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3754 - The Detroit Tigers - 37-20 - Most Wins in the MLB as of Today

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3754 - The Detroit Tigers - 37-20 - Most Wins in the MLB as of Today

The Detroit Tigers are off today, so it seemed like a good day for this post.

As of early this morning, the Tigers had the most wins in Major League Baseball and the best record by a percentage point.

The Phillies who are their closest competitor for best record play a double header today and could regain the best record in the majors and at best tie the Tigers for most wins.

The Detroit Tigers have played 57 games so far and sit atop the majors at 37-20; the Phillies have only played 54 games, and after today will have played 56 games. By percentage points, they could regain a slim margin lead for best record in the majors, and, as I wrote, tie the Tigers for most wins.

In the year following my Dad's death, for my favorite team in all of sports to achieve such success is a blessing of happiness bestowed from the universe.

Let's place this win total in perspective.

Last year (2024), as of May 29th, the Tigers were 27-28, having split a double header with Pittsburgh, losing the second game against rookie phenom Paul Skenes.

In 2023, after play on May 29th, the Tigers were 25-27.

But right now, they are 37-20.

37-20!!

And the Detroit Tigers are winning without being number one statistically in any category.

As of today, they are 10th in the majors with a .733 OPS (On-Base + Slugging). They are fourth in total bases (786) while my other favorite team, The Chicago Cubs, are first in TB at 880. And they walk even less often at 190 so far that places them at 13th behind the 225 by the Yankees that leads the majors.

The Detroit Tigers are fourth overall in ERA (3.22) behind the Mets (in 1st with a 2.87), the KC Royals (who the Tigers play next), and the SF Giants (who the Tigers just played and swept in a three-game series). Other stats are not as meaningful. Given manager Hinch's use of the bullpen, the Tigers do not log that many quality starts and Skubal just logged his first CAREER complete game, and the only one the Tigers have. However, they have logged five shut-outs, which places them at fifth in the majors. Another useful measure is that they are seventh in walks, giving up only 163 free passes (worst is 226). The Twins who have been surging lead with only 133 with the Rays as the next closest at 153. big gap.

In Fielding Percentage, the Detroit Tigers rank seventh at .988, though best is .989. They are third in put-outs, and eighth in errors.

All around, they are in the top ten in most categories that I examined with their pitching performing at a much higher level compared to other teams than their offense.

But they are winning more than ANY OTHER TEAM in the majors.

And wins are what matters after all.

After a three game losing streak to Cleveland, The Tigers have won four in a row, starting with Skubal's complete game on Sunday and that three-game sweep of the Giants.


SOURCES

https://www.espn.com/mlb/stats/team

https://www.espn.com/mlb/stats/team/_/view/pitching

https://www.espn.com/mlb/stats/team/_/view/fielding

The joy I feel at how the Tigers have played since last August to now. They have the best record in the majors from then to now. That time period is literally when my father entered hospice, died, and all the grieving up to now.

I cried in front of a student when they beat the Astros and got into the ALDS last year.

Here's a collection of articles on the recent success of my beloved DETROIT TIGERS.

As the great Ernie Harwell coined the phrase in 1984:

BLESS YOU BOYS!!

Thanks for tuning in.

PS: I am hoping that this post does not jinx the Tigers...

FOR ALL YOUR DETROIT TIGERS NEWS:

https://www.freep.com/sports/tigers/


https://www.freep.com/story/sports/mlb/tigers/2025/05/27/detroit-tigers-game-score-recap-sf-giants-jack-flaherty/83888650007/

Jack Flaherty finds best fastball in Detroit Tigers' 3-1 win over SF Giants

Evan Petzold

Detroit Free Press

May 27, 2025

Detroit Tigers right-hander Jack Flaherty has been working behind the scenes for months on his mechanics, searching to repeat his optimal delivery in games.

That search has led to some struggles.

Everything clicked into place Tuesday, May 27, against the San Francisco Giants at Comerica Park. The 29-year-old guided the Tigers to a 3-1 win with his best performance of the season, delivering six scoreless innings.

Flaherty — who threw 97 pitches — struck out eight batters while allowing just two hits and one walk. His fastball command was the biggest beneficiary of his repeatable delivery.

His fastball was the best it has been in 2025.

The Tigers (36-20) scored one run apiece in the first, second and third innings to support Flaherty's strong start.

Wenceel Pérez hit a solo home run in his return from the injured list, creating damage on the third pitch he saw with his first swing; Riley Greene — hitting .280 with an .850 OPS this season — finished 3-for-4 with one single, two doubles and two RBIs.

But Flaherty deserves credit for his poise on the mound, especially after working around leadoff singles — one from Mike Yastrzemski in a grueling 26-pitch first inning and another from Willy Adames in a smoother eight-pitch second inning.

Those were the only two hits against him.

He also retired the final 11 batters he faced, including five strikeouts during that stretch.

Flaherty owns a 3.94 ERA in 11 starts.

Riley Greene rakes

Giants right-hander Logan Webb — an All-Star last season and a top-six finisher in National League Cy Young voting in the past two seasons — allowed three runs on seven hits and one walk with 10 strikeouts across six innings, throwing 104 pitches.

The Tigers made him work in the early innings.

Webb used 49 pitches to complete two innings, then 71 pitches to complete three innings.

In the first, Greene doubled off Webb's down-and-in changeup to score Gleyber Torres for a 1-0 lead. In the second, Pérez cranked a solo home run off Webb's middle-in sinker for a 2-0 lead. In the third, Greene singled off Webb's middle-in cutter to score Colt Keith for a 3-0 lead.

The three hits from Greene: a double with a 114.5 mph exit velocity in the first inning, a single with a 94.8 mph exit velocity in the third inning and a double with a 104.7 mph exit velocity in the fifth inning.

Greene has 38 RBIs in 54 games.

He is on pace for a career-high 110 RBIs this season.

READ MORE: Alex Lange injury update: Tigers reliever motivated by 'World Series rings'

https://www.freep.com/story/sports/mlb/tigers/2025/05/27/detroit-tigers-javier-baez-aj-hinch-react-to-umpire-phil-cuzzi/83866403007/

Detroit Tigers' Javier Báez, A.J. Hinch react to ejection from umpire Phil Cuzzi

Evan Petzold

Detroit Free Press

May 27, 2025

Detroit Tigers center fielder Javier Báez — amid a career renaissance — was ejected Monday, May 26, by home plate umpire Phil Cuzzi for arguing balls and strikes in the fifth inning of a 3-1 win over the San Francisco Giants at Comerica Park.

Báez and Cuzzi exchanged words.

And then, all hell broke loose.

"I only said, 'I'm looking for that pitch. It's not a (expletive) strike.' That's the only thing I said," Báez said, standing in front of his locker after Monday's game. "And then he said, 'Don't point at it. Walk out.' And then I said, 'What do you mean, walk out? I'm asking you something,' and then he just threw me out."

After the ejection, Báez tried to attack Cuzzi and had to be restrained by third base coach Joey Cora and teammate Gleyber Torres, preventing further escalation.

The ejection happened moments before manager A.J. Hinch intervened, as he was late to get out of the dugout.

That's what Hinch regrets.

"I could've gone out there at the very beginning of the argument," Hinch said. "That's where I'm mostly frustrated because it changed the rest of that inning. We should've had a runner on first. We didn't. Now we lose Javy."

But Hinch isn't upset with Báez.

Not at all.

"I want our guys to stand up for themselves," Hinch said. "I don't think what Javy did warranted the ejection, but I'm not the umpire, and they don't care what I think. So once it's over, obviously, I was trying to save him some money."

"Now I gotta pay a fine or something," Báez said.

The pitch in question, a 79.8 mph curveball from Giants right-hander Hayden Birdsong, was low and outside — off the plate. The missed call occurred in a full count. Arguing balls and strikes is a violation of MLB rules.

It should've been a ball for a leadoff walk.

Instead, it was a called strikeout.

"It's not even about the call," Báez said. "It's about how he treated me. I'm not an animal. We can talk. We can argue. And that's it. If he would've told me, 'OK, I missed it,' I would've (expletive) shut up (and went back to the dugout). I know he's not perfect, but don't treat me like that."

https://www.freep.com/story/sports/mlb/tigers/2025/05/25/tarik-skubal-tigers-game-guardians-aj-hinch/83854730007/

Detroit Tigers ace Tarik Skubal makes history in critical 'reset' win vs Guardians

Christian Romo

Detroit Free Press

May 25, 2025

It's usually never a must-win game in May, especially for a Detroit Tigers team with the American League's best record (34-20) and a first-place position in the AL Central.

But it was hard to ignore the Tigers' recent three-game losing streak, all at home against a Cleveland Guardians team that cut its divisional deficit from six games to three in the blink of an eye.

So after an extra-inning loss on Saturday, May 24, one that gave the Tigers just their second three-game losing streak of the season, there seemed to be an extra emphasis on not getting four-game swept by a divisional rival on Sunday, May 25.

At least Tarik Skubal pitched that way.

Skubal hit a few milestones with his first-career complete game performance during Sunday's 5-0 win over the Guardians (29-23), tying his career high with 13 strikeouts and becoming the first Tigers pitcher in history to record double-digit strikeouts in four straight home outings.

Need a break? Play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle.

He threw the fastest pitch of the game on the last pitch of his outing, a 102.6 mph heater that struck out Guardians shortstop Gabriel Arias and sent the Comerica Park crowd into an extended frenzy.

But most impressively, he threw a "Maddux," a complete-game shutout on fewer than 100 pitches.

Not that he knew that when he finished.

Tarik Skubal wasn't sure what a Maddux was

During his postgame interview, Skubal seemed to know what a Maddux was, but needed some clarification on what exactly it meant:

"Under 100 (pitches)? That's cool," he said. "A complete game shutout, Maddux, whatever you want to call it, that's pretty cool."

Even cooler? The 13 strikeouts Skubal recorded Sunday were the most ever in a Maddux, topping the 12 recorded by Cleveland’s Carlos Carrasco in 2014, the Phillies’ Cliff Lee in 2011 and the Dodgers’ Sandy Koufax in 1964.

But none of it seemed to impress Skubal too much when he learned about the feat:

"I'm not really trying to pitch for accolades, I'm trying to win."

Tigers in need of a reset

Tigers manager A.J. Hinch only sort of bought into the idea that Sunday's game was a must-win:

"We show up every day like we have to (win)," he said.

And facing many challenges on the day — the three-game losing streak, an 11:35 a.m. start following an evening game the night before, holding off a divisional rival — Hinch once again stressed the need for a reset.

"It's because of a series like this," he said. "I still say it after a series where we dominate, but it's series like this or games like last night that you need to reset and go play. The season was not going to be won or lost today, but it's always important to respond to where you're at in the year, and our guys did that."

The Tigers host the San Francisco Giants (31-22) for three games starting Monday, May 26 (1:10 p.m., FanDuel Sports Network Detroit).

Skubal staying 'stubborn' in the strike zone

Skubal was able to keep his pitch count so low in part because he was taking advantage of Cleveland's aggressive approach and recording quick outs. Hinch said that has represented an improvement in Skubal's game.

"I think the improvement is staying stubborn in the strike zone when it was clear they were going to swing early and try to ambush him," he said. "And I think his ability to, you know, mix his pitches as the game goes on, not back down from the strike zone even though they are swinging early — the improvement is in understanding the competition."

Catcher Dillon Dingler said he didn't have to adjust the gameplan too much with Skubal dealing:

"If he's missing barrels or getting ground balls straight into the ground, we keep on doing what we're doing," he said. "Attack guys just with his strengths. We didn't really change the gameplan too much, just were attacking them all day."

Does it matter that Detroit Tigers have a fun-loving clubhouse with a bunch of good dudes?

https://www.freep.com/story/sports/columnists/jeff-seidel/2025/05/25/detroit-tigers-stellar-chemistry-paying-off-on-and-off-the-field/83748698007/

Jeff Seidel

Detroit Free Press

May 25, 2025

“Get in the cart!” Will Vest screamed at Jackson Jobe. “Hurry up!”

It was April 12 and the Detroit Tigers were in the visiting clubhouse at Target Field in Minneapolis. Jobe had just reached an important milestone: The first win of his big-league career, after throwing six scoreless innings against the Minnesota Twins — and it was time to celebrate.

“Hurry up!” Vest screamed at Jobe after the Tigers’ 4-0 victory.

Jobe climbed into a laundry cart and was rushed to the shower.

LONDON TO DETROIT: Jed Oliver's long-distance visit isn't just about him — it's also about Detroit Tigers fans

Need a break? Play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle.

“Everyone on the team is lined up and people are pouring beer, syrup, juices, baby powder,” Jobe recalled, breaking into a smile. “The beer is so cold and then you get a whiff of baby powder and you can't breathe for a second. You’re so cold, so you're, like, in shock and it's an experience.”

It was similar to one of the Tigers' on-field baby-powder-spraying, Gatorade-dumping celebrations after a walk-off win.

Only better. Because it was a bunch of veteran players welcoming a youngster behind the scenes.

Jobe finished his thought and kept smiling — one of those ear-to-ear smiles.

“We call it a beer shower, but it's something that everyone goes through after a first experience,” Jobe said. “It was definitely a big deal and something that I'll remember for the rest of my life for sure.”

Because in the middle of getting doused, he was being celebrated by the entire team.

“I like those,” Vest said, “because I like to take a moment with that guy and congratulate them and be like, ‘Hey, man, this is really cool what you just did, whether it be, you get your first win in the big leagues, or you hit your first homer. Those are cool thresholds to hit in the game.”

It’s a rite of passage and team bonding at its best, as these Tigers celebrate a huge moment. Because this team doesn’t just play hard, they celebrate each other. And all those moments are starting to add up.

https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/45361938/no-relief-needed-tarik-skubal-wants-long-outings-regular

No relief needed: Tarik Skubal wants long outings to be regular

May 28, 2025

DETROIT -- Tarik Skubal enjoyed his first taste of throwing a complete game as a professional, and the Tigers ace is hoping to be a rare starting pitcher who is regularly on the mound late in games.

In this era, teams usually depend on relievers to pitch at least a few innings, but the reigning American League Cy Young and league Triple Crown winner would love to buck the trend for manager A.J. Hinch and the AL-leading Tigers.

"The game's changed a little bit because these guys that come in are the best they've ever been, but my goal is to make it as difficult as I can on A.J. to take me out of a game," Skubal said Wednesday before Detroit wrapped up a series at home against San Francisco. "I want him thinking a lot about it. I don't want it to be an easy decision.

"That's kind of that's what starting pitching is: You take the ball and you eat innings. There's probably been a little bit of less value in that in today's game as it was five, 10 years ago."

Justin Verlander laments that fact.

"Most guys are getting pulled in the fifth or sixth inning," he said.

Verlander, a three-time AL Cy Young winner in his first season with the Giants, understands that clubs try to limit the number of innings starters pitch, in part to avoid injuries.

The 42-year-old right-hander, though, is grateful Jim Leyland was his manager early in his career with the Tigers and allowed him to have 120-pitch outings and 200-inning seasons.

"Even at that time, that was a little old school," Verlander said. "Had he not been my manager, I might not have had the opportunity to show what I can do. I think what separated me from a lot of guys was my ability to throw that many pitches and get stronger as game went on and do it every five days."

When Skubal makes his next start Saturday at Kansas City, the hard-throwing left-hander wants Hinch to see plenty of reasons to keep him in the game longer than usual.

"I want to be out there for the sixth, seventh and eighth inning," Skubal said. "There's going to be five-inning outings. Those are grinder games. I'm not too proud of those ones. I'm proud of ones I'm in the seventh, eighth and handing the ball off to the back end of our guys."

In Skubal's last start, he gave up two hits and matched a career high with 13 strikeouts in a 94-pitch performance that included only 22 balls and zero walks. It was just the fifth individual shutout this season in the majors.

If he or any other Detroit starter is as efficient, Hinch plans to keep them in for the final inning.

"If guys want to enter the ninth inning with 85 pitches, I promise you I will leave guys in," Hinch said.

Hinch said it's not an indictment on starters when they don't last deep in games, adding it's not a "healthy badge of honor" to just leave pitchers on the mound because they are having a good day.

Simply put, he said the stuff a fresh reliever has to throw at teams is going to be better than one of the last pitches from any starter.

"As starters fatigue, is their 120th pitch better than Will Vest's first pitch? Or Tommy Kahnle's first pitch? Or Brant Hurter's first pitch?" Hinch asked. "The answer is no."

Me and Dad, Opening Day, Tigers, 2017.

Thursday, April 6, 2023

A Sense of Doubt blog post #2970 - Tigers Opening Day - April 06, 2023

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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2505.29 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3619 days ago & DAD = 273 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.