Though the current project started as a series of posts charting my grief journey after the death of my mother, I am no longer actively grieving. Now, the blog charts a conversation in living, mainly whatever I want it to be. This is an activity that goes well with the theme of this blog (updated 2018). The Sense of Doubt blog is dedicated to my motto: EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY. I promote questioning everything because just when I think I know something is concrete, I find out that it’s not.
Hey, Mom! The Explanation.
Here's the permanent dedicated link to my first Hey, Mom! post and the explanation of the feature it contains.
A Sense of Doubt blog post #4199 - My Parents' 68th Wedding Anniversary
I went hunting for older pictures of my parents and came across the one above from Lori's birthday, and I liked it.
Then, I found this one below.
I took this picture, obviously, I cut off the top of Dad's head. My Mom was very pregnant here. Since we moved into this house just before she gave birth, it's obvious that it's not long before Lori was born.
I feel it's important to acknowledge my parents' wedding anniversary every year, even though they are both deceased.
Usually I make this a HEY MOM post, but this year I did not.
Below I have reprinted the previous anniversary posts.
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1252 (SoD #3833) - My Parents' 67th Wedding Anniversary
Hi Mom, It's your wedding anniversary again, and the first for which neither of you are alive.
Dad died last year in August 28th at 1:40 p.m. just a little under two weeks after your 66th wedding anniversary. Last year's post also reprints many wedding anniversary posts from past year's.
Posts like this are mainly for me, Mom, and I know you get that.
I just like looking at the pictures and thinking about what might have been.
Some may find it "unhealthy" to keep posting about a wedding anniversary that can now no longer be celebrated by those who were in the wedding.
But does that really matter?
With the date of Dad's death coming up and the one year anniversary, I am more focused on him and both parents than I have been in past years.
Referring to it as an "anniversary" seems like the wrong word, given that anniversaries are usually associated with celebrations and not acknowledgement of a sad event.
And perhaps there are always "WHAT IFs" with deaths. What if you had not contracted the bacterial meningitis, Mom? What if you did but we caught it earlier? What if Dad had not contracted cancer in his mouth? What if Dad had not comedown with Covid-19?
What if I had made it back to Michigan last year before Dad was unconscious?
But this post is about what was always a happy day for you and Dad, right Mom?
And after having to ask when you two got married almost every year, I have a system now. I was pretty sure I always remembered that it was 1958 but often had doubt.
Four years is easier to remember. Add four years to my age for the number of years of your marriage.
Technically, the marriage ended in 2015, when you died, Mom. But I know Dad kept acknowledging the wedding anniversary every year. I am not sure if he did last year as he was in hospice, though not yet in the nursing home area, still in his apartment, twelve days before he died.
He was off social media and email and the phone. Though I did speak to him a few times, when I had the nurses literally put the phone to his ear. I don't know if he was even aware last of your wedding anniversary on the 16th. I hope he was.
I know you get it, Mom. You get the grief because of how you grieved your mother since she died when you were 19 years old. You were sad when your dad died but not nearly as sad. I saw you cry about your mother for years and years, all the years.
I wish you were here so we could talk about it, though in the last fifteen years or your life, just bringing up your Mom was likely to make you cry.
There's no wrong way to grieve. There only right ways.
So, I was unloading the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen to make the coffee, which is something I do every night, and I was putting all the things where they should be, and if I found something out of place, I moved it.
I got this tendency from you, Mom.
Then, I was getting the things out for bed time: my water and CBD gummy, dog treats, books I take upstairs every night (my Kindle and Tao te Ching), and I realized that this is just like both of you. This setting out things for bed time is EXACTLY what Dad did every night for 15 years of caring for you, Mom.
But often you, Mom, would set out all your things for your day the night before, just as I often do.
Probably lots of people share these compunctions and organizational systems, but they are dear to me because they have been gained from you, Mom, and from Dad.
And so, I dedicate this song and this post to you and Dad, Mom, on the date of your 66th wedding anniversary.
In this case, "Parents" is a proper noun for MY parents, and so it conforms to the rule for proper nouns which is just an apostrophe after the "s" unlike a common noun.
However, it also fits the rule for a plural as My Parents are two people, and so the word is plural.
Much like the dogs' treats, this is my Parents' 66th wedding anniversary.
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." — Friedrich Nietzsche
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1181 (SoD 1641) - 61st Wedding Anniversary - Marjorie and Robert Tower
Hi Mom,
Special Friday edition of HEY MOM. No Throwback yesterday, technically, but this is a Throwback, right?
Here's a collection of content from previous August 16th and my parents wedding anniversary.
I have to remember that their years married is +4 my age or just remember that they were married in 1958.
As I look back on my posts, I think I made an early error in the "days ago" tally, and so it may be off by one. I think the error occurred in the first month in which I just calculated days ago by subtracting four (the Fourth of July) from the current date. Since then, I have just kept track. However, I started the HEY MOM FEATURE two days after you died, Mom, so the current HEY MOM count while I was doing daily HEY MOMs should always be two under the days ago. Looking back through my archive (randomly chose #508), it appears that I corrected the discrepancy. Thus, I suspect that my days ago count is accurate.
Hey, guess what? There's a days ago calculator. My count is right on!
The total number of days between Saturday, July 4th, 2015 and Friday, August 16th, 2019 is 1,504 days.
This is equal to 4 years, 1 month, and 12 days.
This does not include the end date, so it's accurate if you're measuring your age in days, or the total days between the start and end date. But if you want the duration of an event that includes both the starting date and the ending date, then it would actually be 1,505 days.
If you're counting workdays or weekends, there are 1,074 weekdays and 430 weekend days.
If you include the end date of Aug 16, 2019 which is a Friday, then there would be 1,075 weekdays and 430 weekend days including both the starting Saturday and the ending Friday.
1,504 days is equal to 214 weeks and 6 days.
The total time span from 2015-07-04 to 2019-08-16 is 36,096 hours.
I can only imagine what your marriage would have been like had you lived Mom. I think you would have made it to 70 years. Hard to imagine as I creep up on just 10 years.
The 57th wedding anniversary came around just 43 days after your death, Mom.
Here's all of that post and then some of last year's, from 2018.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ - Days ago = 1504 days ago - Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1908.16 - 10:10
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you, Mom.
I miss you so very much, Mom.
Talk to you soon, Mom.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ - Days ago = 2966 days ago - Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2308.16 - 10:10 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Reflect and connect. Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you, Mom. I miss you so very much, Mom.
Talk to you soon, Mom.
- Days ago = 3332 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2408.16 - 10:10
NEW (written 1708.27 and 1907.04) NOTE on time: I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of your death, Mom, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of your death, Mom. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom. Dropped "Talk to you tomorrow, Mom" in the sign off on 1907.04. Should have done it sooner as this feature is no longer daily.
Reflect and connect. Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you, Mom. I miss you so very much, Mom. Talk to you soon, Mom. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ - Days ago: MOM = 3698 days ago & DAD = 352 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2508.16 - 10:10
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2608.16 - 10:10
- Days ago: MOM = 4063 days ago & DAD = 717 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
A Sense of Doubt blog post #4148 - Letter to Dad #41 - Dad's 91st Birthday
Hi Dad,
There's a lot of SIXES here. Check out the days since you died = 666. And today is the sixth month, the twenty-sixth day, of the 26th year of the century.
That's a lot of sixes and a meaningful synchronicity as numbers have played such a significant role in your last years and death.
Being your 91st birthday (and it's a Friday) does not follow much with the six theme, though is a six in the nine of 91, but that's a bit of a stretch.
I wanted to find an older picture of one of your birthdays but there are fewer of those as you were always the one taking pictures. Plus I have many more photos to go through. So I am sharing this one above from 1987, clearly in the Park Club, as I am not sure I have shared it all that much.
I am writing this post the day after. It's Saturday the 27th now.
I thought of you a lot yesterday Dad.
I think of you so many times each and every day (Mom, too). Like when I am grilling. You would be so proud. I grilled some steaks perfectly the other day and IN THE RAIN.
I miss you.
I think you would have liked being 91.
Last year's post contains so much from the recent years with Dad. I am not going to reprint it all, but you can click on it and explore if you wish.
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2606.26 - 10:10
- Days ago: MOM = 4012 days ago & DAD = 666 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
A Sense of Doubt blog post #4143 - Comic Book Sunday for Father's Day 2026 - SoD Reprint from 2021
This looked like a good reprint for today.
It's both Father's Day and the Summer Solstice.
It's going to be a nice day to lie on the hammock and read. I am also planning to read indoors for a while this morning and watch Baseball. I try to do this kind of thing on Sundays, which I consider a DAY OFF if possible. My homework is done. Everything else can wait.
I miss you Dad. A LOT.
Note on the following reprint: Lots of the the content in the post reprinted below was broken. I left in some of the broken tweets as the text remained and repaired one. I deleted some videos from the article by Stephen Robinson because they were broken, and I did not know what they were in the first place so as to replace them.
Thanks for tuning in.
LOW POWER MODE: I sometimes put the blog in what I call LOW POWER MODE. If you see this note, the blog is operating like a sleeping computer, maintaining static memory, but making no new computations. If I am in low power mode, it's because I do not have time to do much that's inventive, original, or even substantive on the blog. This means I am posting straight shares, limited content posts, reprints, often something qualifying for the THAT ONE THING category and other easy to make posts to keep me daily. That's the deal. Thanks for reading.
BLOG VACATION #1 - 2026 - Taking a blog vacation for a couple of weeks, until at least June 26th, 2026. Mostly reprints. A few simple shares (not that simple shares are out of the norm) and THAT ONE THING. Need time for other things.
A Sense of Doubt blog post #2315 - In the Bat Cave, the Elevators Only Go UP- Comic Book Sunday - Father's Day edition
UPDATED 2606.19
I interrupt my so far sort of weekly WHAT AM I READING to present some breaking news from a Harley Quinn cartoon TV show for adults that I did not know existed in which DC Comics declared, as canon, that Batman does not perform oral sex.
I was going to comment, but I am not sure I can add anything to the Twitter messages and the article below.
DC has a history of misogyny, so this "Batman does not go downtown" was no real surprise, just more of the five steps backwards for every two steps forward that is our world now.
It's gross.
And it is Father's Day. This is such a great lesson for Father's Day in how not to be a selfish lover.
Okay, word.
WORD.
TEXT of deleted TWEET:
Me Getting ready to explain the batman oral sex discourse to my partner.
— Canti 🏳️🌈 (He/Him) (@CantiUnplugged) June 15, 2021
Everyone's all up in Bruce Wayne's bat business after the co-creator of HBO Max's "Harley Quinn" series claimed that DC Comics has very specific opinions about Batman's sex life.
"Harley Quinn" is an adult animated series starring Kaley Cuoco (who's AMAZING). It's an adult comedy with graphic violence and sexual shenanigans. It's TV-MA with the full nasty. DC is usually pretty supportive, according to creator Justin Halpern, but the company drew a hard line when it came to a scene between Batman and Catwoman, both of whom are fictional characters.
"It's incredibly gratifying and free to be using characters that are considered villains because you just have so much more leeway," said Halpern. "A perfect example of that is in this third season of Harley [when] we had a moment where Batman was going down on Catwoman. And DC was like, 'You can't do that. You absolutely cannot do that.' They're like, 'Heroes don't do that.' So, we said, 'Are you saying heroes are just selfish lovers?' They were like, 'No, it's that we sell consumer toys for heroes. It's hard to sell a toy if Batman is also going down on someone.'"
Say what? Heroes don't go downtown? It's all missionary with one swashbuckler boot firmly on the floor? Full disclosure, the Catwoman in "Harley Quinn" is an Eartha Kitt-looking sister, voiced by the stunning Sanaa Lathan. This is not a Catwoman who tolerates vanilla. The integrity of the series demands that Batman get busy on Catwoman's furry places.
This is actually weirder than when comics publishers insisted that Superman and Batman never had sex, supposedly so they'd have something in common with their fans. Dean Cain, star of the 1990s “Lois & Clark" series, explained at the time why he thought his character was a virgin.
"He had had the opportunity [to have sex] and he's thought about it," the actor reasons, "but he is the most moral guy on Earth and he decided that he would save himself for his special person."
That's certainly Clark Kent's choice but it's not what makes him a hero. It's all the saving of lives. Besides, shouldn't he have tested that super dick before his wedding night? I don't mean to be prejudiced but he is an alien. He should have sex for the first time with a human woman in a controlled laboratory environment, like the one at Madonna's house.
Superman grew up in Kansas, so he's capable of anything. However, no one seriously believed the goddamn Batman was chaste. His alter ego is a "billionaire playboy." I remember reading some bizarre theory that Bruce Wayne paid women he dated to claim they had sex, which would have created its own set of rumors. Batman as Rock Hudson is very 1950s.
In 2011, DC Comics published an actual comic, one freely available to kids, where Batman and Catwoman fucked themselves stupid. It's no longer playful innuendo. It's in every room and on every surface.
DC Comics
So, the objection isn't that Batman and Catwoman have sex outside of the bonds of matrimony. DC won't accept Batman giving a woman oral pleasure. This is how DC tells us it's run by men without telling us it's run by men. Someone actually opened his mouth and said, "It's hard to sell a toy if Batman is also going down on someone." You know Halpern's telling the truth because it's just too bonkers a statement to make up. As someone who owns a lot of Batman-related toys that I let my son look at and even touch on special occasions, I guarantee that I'd buy the fuck out of a "Harley Quinn" Batman figure with oral sex action. If DC is so worried about selling toys, they should get some therapy and then get to work on that "Harley Quinn" toy line. It's been almost two years. Where's my goddamn Sanaa Lathan Catwoman?
Before I go, I also want to clear up some slander about my boy Adam West. You can mock the 1960s “Batman" series if you want (just not in my presence), but West fucked around for real during the series run. He even got kicked out of an orgy with Frank Gorshin, who played the Riddler.
WEST: We walked in and it was an orgy. So I immediately went into the Batman character, and Frank went into the Riddler character, because we were getting the big giggles. It was so funny to us, what we walked into. And we were kicked out. We were expelled from the orgy.
Folks on social media claim that West's Batman was the least likely to go down on Catwoman, which is absurd. We're talking about Julie Newmar here. The only obstacle was Robin. Catwoman doesn't step-mom.
And West's Batman would've definitely taken the scenic route with Lee Meriwether's Catwoman. As the man said, “What use is a dream if not a blueprint for courageous action!" That ... actually doesn't make a lot of sense, but the Bat-Brain was focused on other things.
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2106.20 - 10:10 - Days ago = 2179 days ago - New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I plan to continue Hey Mom posts at least twice per week but will continue to post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2606.21 - 10:10
- Days ago: MOM = 4007 days ago & DAD = 661 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
A Sense of Doubt blog post #4141 - Juneteenth - Freedom Day! SoD Reprint of 3775 from 2025
Just this.
FREEDOM!!!
LOW POWER MODE: I sometimes put the blog in what I call LOW POWER MODE. If you see this note, the blog is operating like a sleeping computer, maintaining static memory, but making no new computations. If I am in low power mode, it's because I do not have time to do much that's inventive, original, or even substantive on the blog. This means I am posting straight shares, limited content posts, reprints, often something qualifying for the THAT ONE THING category and other easy to make posts to keep me daily. That's the deal. Thanks for reading.
BLOG VACATION #1 - 2026 - Taking a blog vacation for a couple of weeks, until at least June 26th, 2026. Mostly reprints. A few simple shares (not that simple shares are out of the norm) and THAT ONE THING. Need time for other things.
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2606.19 - 10:10
- Days ago: MOM = 4005 days ago & DAD = 659 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
I have written quite a bit on this blog about grieving the loss of my parents.
What works for me to manage my grief will not work for everyone. We all have to find our own ways to live with the grief, but we need to feel it. We should not tamp it down, deny it, or get over it. It's there. It's going to be there. It's always going to be there.
So, I am doing something intentional for my grief that I wrote about here:
I reflect on how much I miss my parents every night as I do "the numbers" with my dog Ellory as she has anxiety and needs reassurance. Or at least, I rationalize what I am doing as reassuring Ellory when really it's probably more about reassuring myself.
Ellory helps me with the grief because we love each other, and the nightly numbers are really about enclosing ourselves in the warm embrace of that love and basking in its glow.
I reflect with her on how much I miss my parents each night and really let myself feel it. Some nights the surge of emotion is bigger than other nights. Depends on what's going on in my life. Sometimes, it's just an acknowledgment: yes, I miss them. I always will. Other times, it's nearly tears but rarely actual tears. Depends. If the emotions are intense, Ellory senses that and gets more anxious. She's not only the most sensitive dog I have ever met, but she is an empath.
Letting myself feel the grief, feel how much I miss my parents, and make that a nightly ritual, helps me to manage the grief throughout the day and keeps it from surprising me with a sudden sneak attack. It's not like I spend my day in anguish or anything like that. My Mom has been dead for nearly eleven years and my Dad for nearly three. In fact, by doing my nightly reflection with Ellory, I don't think about how much I miss them nearly as much because I have a dedicated time to reflect on those feelings if only just for a few moments.
Feel free to steal this idea if you think it would work for you, too.
Happy Mother's Day!
Thanks for tuning in.
Link to last year's post, completely reprinted below:
This picture above is becoming one of my very favorites of you, Dad, and me. I love the way you are both dressed. Dad is very casual in clothes unlike how he dressed later in life. The white t-shirt was a thing back then, which he continued until some time in the 1970s, if I recall correctly. Those shoes are very unlike anything he wore in later years. But Mom... oh wow. Not only are you gorgeous in this picture, but you're also dressed in ways you gave up later, like skirts that short, tights, and a simple white blouse.
My young parents. I do not remember you two very much from this time period, obviously, as I am nine months old in this picture. But they managed to catch me looking at the camera, which may have been a challenge. I suspect one of my Dad's parents took this picture.
This is the tenth Mother's Day without you.
On July 4th, I will acknowledge (we would not call it celebrating, maybe I will endure is better) the tenth year anniversary of your death.
I suspect that it may be a difficult day for me.
I am writing this post two days after Mother's Day as I am behind on the blog. I can report that it was a very good day. Brunch at McMenamins here in Kalama and movies at home as we were all exhausted from being out late at a concert the night before (Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, the subject of tomorrow's post). As always, the puppies snuggled with us.
I have been writing a lot about grief since last August, Mom. More about losing Dad than you, but with these tenth anniversaries this year, I am thinking about you often and hear you voice in my mind as I iron clothes, clean the kitchen, deal with difficult and stressful things; I still feel the warm bath of your love and support shimmering all around me, but I miss being able to talk to you in physical reality and give you a kiss on the cheek.
I suspect I will experience you in this way and feel these things for the rest of my life because that's what grief is, and we do not stop having it, unless we're denying it, repressing it, avoiding it.
Every year, I reprint all the other HEY MOM posts from Mother's Days since 2016, the first one with you, though some are just linked in the content below, but they are all here in some fashion.
Here's the direct link to last year's, all of the content from which is reprinted below:
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1245 (SoD #3371) - Mother's Day 2024
Hi Mom,
It's been a year since my last HEY MOM writing directly to you, on your birthday. I stopped daily HEY MOM on July 6th, 2018 at HEY MOM #1096. I have posted 149 HEY MOM posts since then (counting this one). Originally, I had planned TWO HEY MOM posts a week on Thursdays and Sundays and also special days, like tomorrow, Mother's Day. But In the last few years, I have backed off that schedule. published seven HEY MOM posts in 2023, three in 2022, and fifteen in 2021. That's a weird variation.
Below, you can read my experiment in posting an incomplete entry yesterday, which was Mother's Day (5/12), today is Monday 5/13, and this post is "published" on May 11th, the day before to not conflict with my planned COMIC BOOK SUNDAY post.
I was trying to capture readers. Most people who like my blog on social media, do not click through and read it. My view counts are often all bots.
Anyway, hi Mom. Miss you. But now, with the ninth anniversary of your death looming, the way I miss you is less of a sharp pain and just a part of life, something to acknowledge, a part of me.
However, having you in my thoughts with Mother's Day imminent, you appeared in a dream the other night. You were running, and I was trying to keep pace alongside you. You had on some clothes I recognized, colorful. There was a lot to the dream that I cannot recall now. I do not remember why you were running or where you were going. It's a funny thing to dream about as you NEVER ran, though you walked briskly, and I joined you for many of these walks through Gull Vista, the subdivision near our West Gull Lake Drive home.
Thinking of dreams, I went to McMennamins in Edgefield on Mother's Day and was let into a "Men's Lavatory" that was for guests of the hotel, and it resembled in some way the elaborate bathrooms that are often featured in my dreams. These are always early 20th Century styled bathrooms with a lounge, a few steps to a slightly raised second level, multiple stalls and "booth" type areas, a line of large urinals on a raised tile base, and more. Wood panels with intricate designs cut in them, Tiffany-style maps with stained glass shades with fringe, beaded curtains, large palm fronds in urns, feathers, some velvet-red-swirl wallpaper in the late 19th century bordello style, all the cologne, hair oil, beard oil, combs in thin jars filled with goo, and so on. Hot towels. An attendant in a bow tie (sometimes). The McMennamins lavatory had that feel with a bathtub and a shower, each in a separate room. But the bathroom was still less elaborate than the one often in my dreams.
I also had the Pistons dream again. Often, I am on the team and enjoy limited playing time and weird searching for the locker room or the gear I need. Often the dream involves the hassle and burden of traveling from Kalamazoo to Detroit, always Auburn Hills, as for me that's where the Pistons play as I have not yet been inside Little Caesar's Arena, though I walked around it last year. This time I was not playing but was somehow part of the team, on the bench, needing to be there and get there from Kalamazoo, and the same hunt of my uniform and warm up gear. Larry Brown was the coach as he often is, though I had to step around an exaggeratedly tall Phil Jackson on the sideline.
Though I think the bathroom dreams are about my unconscious mind and all its little spaces and features, I am not sure why I have the Pistons dreams. When I play, they are often dreams of success. This one seemed to be an anxiety dream as I was worried about getting there, getting home, and getting back for the next game.
I often wish you were here to talk to, Mom. I think about you often, and I do talk to you either in my head of out loud.
Thanks for listening.
Happy Mother's Day.
HERE'S WHAT I originally posted: (experiment proven - no comments, though it's only been 14 hours)
I am doing something I do not normally do: posting an incomplete post.
I will add my note to you Mom, tomorrow (which is Monday 05/13, I am a day late).
Part of it will be about not writing you a HEY MOM since last year and DREAMS:
Bathroom dream
Pistons dream
Mom running dream
Herein, until I write my note, there's an article on the originator of Mother's Day and several (all?) of my past Mother's Day posts.
If you have opened this post and have read that it is incomplete with content pending, surprise me by leaving me a comment and then check back late Monday 05/13 or after.
Here's two good quotes from the article that follows, then the Mother's Day archive.
I know the publication date of this post is the day BEFORE Mother's Day, but tomorrow is COMIC BOOK SUNDAY, and I am keeping it that way, and yes, this sentence is a run-on.
Thanks for tuning in.
I refer to it as “social motherhood,” where being a mother does not just mean taking care of your own children. You are caring for your community of children.
So Anna Jarvis’s Mother’s Day was very sentimental. It wasn’t a day to celebrate all mothers, it was a day for you to celebrate your mother—the mother as the center of a child’s world.
People ask me all the time, where do you put the apostrophe? Is it singular or plural? Anna’s idea was for a Mother’s Day, possessive singular. Her mother’s vision was more like Mothers’ Day—possessive plural.
The Founder of Mother’s Day Mostly Cared About Her Own Mother
She fought anyone who tried to profit from her holiday, from Big Candy to Eleanor Roosevelt.
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It seems like such a simple idea: a day to honor the women who bring life into the world. But how do we square the ideal of celebrating and supporting mothers with the reality of how lawmakers and courts have acted to undermine maternal health and rights in the post-Dobbs era? Or make sense of all the money Americans spend annually on this one day—a purported $33.5 billion in 2024, according to the National Federation of Retailers, including $7 billion on jewelry and $3.2 billion on flowers—when so many mothers can’t afford food, housing, or health care?
Anna Jarvis, who launched the Mother’s Day movement in 1908 in honor of her own remarkable mother, would have had very complicated feelings about what the day has become, says Katharine Lane Antolini, associate professor of American history at West Virginia Wesleyan College and author ofMemorializing Motherhood: Anna Jarvis and the Struggle for Control of Mother’s Day. Jarvis’s vision was childlike in its sentimentality, Antolini says: “To her, this was supposed to be the one day out of the year when you were just grateful for your mother.” But there was nothing sentimental about the way she fought to preserve that vision, whether she was battling the floral industry, Big Candy, or well-intentioned maternal health charities and the powerful people who supported them. I spoke with Antolini from her campus office in Buckhannon, West Virginia, about 40 minutes from the International Mother’s Day Shrine and Jarvis’s childhood home.
How did the idea of a day to honor mothers become such a focus of Anna Jarvis’ life?
The story of Mother’s Day really goes back to her mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, who was a well-known social activist and community organizer during her time. They lived in the part of Virginia that split off during the Civil War to become West Virginia, part of the Union. Mrs. Jarvis had 13 children, only four of whom lived to adulthood. Anna, who was born in 1864, was the oldest surviving daughter. She never married or had children. She was never a mother herself. And that, I think, is an important part of her story.
In the 1850s, before Anna was born, it was very common for mothers in this part of Appalachia to die in childbirth and for babies to die. Poor sanitation was a major cause of death. Mrs. Jarvis organized what she called Mothers’ Day Work Clubs, where women would come together to educate themselves on issues of sanitation: what to do with sewage, where to put your outhouse so it wouldn’t contaminate your water supply or the milk from your cows. If there was a mini epidemic, they would help quarantine a family, bring them food, and help care for the sick. Mrs. Jarvis believed in a proactive kind of motherhood—in the book, I refer to it as “social motherhood,” where being a mother does not just mean taking care of your own children. You are caring for your community of children. By the time of the Civil War, these clubs were so well known that, according to local legend, a Union colonel asked Mrs. Jarvis if she could help the Union camps stop the outbreaks of disease that were killing so many soldiers. So, according to the story, Mrs. Jarvis organized mothers to help care for and stop the spread of diseases in the camps.
Fast forward to the 1870s. Anna Jarvis is 12 years old. She’s standing outside a room where her mother is teaching one of her famous Sunday school lessons on mothers of the Bible. According to Anna, at the end of the lesson, Mrs. Jarvis offers a prayer of hope that somebody someday will create a day to honor mothers for their service. And as Anna tells it, her mother’s prayer sticks in her head. Thirty years later, in May 1905, Mrs. Jarvis dies in Philadelphia, where she had been living with Anna and two of her other children. And Anna decides, I’m going to dedicate my life to promoting my mother’s vision of a day honoring mothers.
It’s such a noble idea. And yet, from the beginning, there was real tension about whose vision of motherhood was being honored. As it turned out, Anna and her mother probably would have had very different ideas of what Mother’s Day should be.
Mrs. Jarvis saw motherhood as a community responsibility. She envisioned a Mother’s Day when women would come together as mothers and be of service to each other.
Anna Jarvis was not a mother. So she didn’t see motherhood through the same lens that her mother did. She saw motherhood through the eyes of a child. When you’re a child, the only mother you care about is your own. So Anna Jarvis’s Mother’s Day was very sentimental. It wasn’t a day to celebrate all mothers, it was a day for you to celebrate your mother—the mother as the center of a child’s world.
People ask me all the time, where do you put the apostrophe? Is it singular or plural? Anna’s idea was for a Mother’s Day, possessive singular. Her mother’s vision was more like Mothers’ Day—possessive plural.
Anna Jarvis was obsessed with turning Mother’s Day into a movement. But she was also obsessed with having it be her movement.
When Anna created her day, it was the second Sunday in May, because that was the closest Sunday to the anniversary of her mother’s death [on May 9]. She picked her mother’s favorite flower, the white carnation, as the symbol of the holiday. Her whole identity was wrapped up in this day. So, then, it had to be celebrated from the perspective of a daughter honoring a mother, not of a mother honoring motherhood. How did she think you should celebrate? You go home, like a Thanksgiving Day for mothers. If you can’t go home, you write or later, you call.
By 1912, Anna incorporated herself into the Mother’s Day International Association, which she ran out of the house in Philadelphia that she shared with her unmarried brother and sister. She copyrighted the phrases “Mother’s Day” and “second Sunday in May” and the white carnation emblem, and she included warnings in her association documents that she would legally protect her copyright from infringement. This was a single woman creating something for herself at a time when independent women were not common. And she became well known, even internationally known. This movement became a big part of her identity, which made her fiercely defensive of it.
How quickly did her Mother’s Day movement take off? And how did she react when it happened?
By 1912, most states recognized Mother’s Day in some way. Anna did it by constantly writing letters and reaching out—she wrote to every state governor, to charities, to the editor of Ladies Home Journal, even to Teddy Roosevelt. It’s a huge campaign, very successful.
Then in 1914, Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation to make Mother’s Day a national day of observance. It was technically a flag resolution, all it asked everybody to do was hang a flag outside their house or on public buildings in honor of mothers. So as a concept, Mother’s Day entered the public domain. But to Anna, it was always her holiday. She copyrighted it. Oh, it made her so pissed off when anybody claimed that Woodrow Wilson was the founder of Mother’s Day. She would say, “All he did was sign it. I did all the work.”
So then Anna began fighting to protect her day. She threatened lawsuits. She had battles with industries that were trying to commercialize her idea– the floral industry, the greeting card industry, the candy industry. The floral industry would hike the price of carnations up every Mother’s Day, which she hated so much.
World War I began in 1914, and the US entered the war in 1917. How was Mother’s Day exploited then?
Mother’s Day quickly became part of the war propaganda effort. The military used it to reach out to mothers.“You’re a good mother if you raise your son to be willing to fight.” Then to their sons: “Go fight to make the world safe for democracy, to keep your mother safe.” There was a huge campaign to get soldiers to write home on Mother’s Day. The military would actually provide cards to get the soldiers to do it.
One of Anna’s big fights was with a group called American War Mothers, which was founded to support the war effort, then pivoted to helping veterans as well as widows and mothers who were left with nobody to care for them. During the 1920s, they started using Mother’s Day as a fundraising device, selling carnations. Anna’s response was, “You don’t have permission to use my day. You don’t have permission to use my carnations. How dare you?” At one point, she crashed their annual meeting and was arrested for disturbing the peace.
Her problem with charities was that she didn’t believe the money they were raising was going to the people who needed it. There was no transparency. She used to refer to charities as “Christian pirates” or the “expectant mother racket.”
But what also really bothered her was how these charities seemed to violate the idea of Mother’s Day as she had envisioned it. To her, this was supposed to day of gratitude and respect. Not a day to feel sorry for mothers, not a day to try to rescue them. Her feeling was, you can pity mothers any other day. This is the day to just celebrate them.
One of Anna’s strangest battles is with maternal health charities—the kind of groups that own mother would have supported and celebrated in her version of Mothers’ Day.
In 1933, during the Depression, the US Senate amended the original Mother’s Day resolution, asking that people donate to charities. Instead of just honoring your own mother and hanging a flag, let’s help mothers and families in the midst of this economic crisis where there was no male breadwinner or the father was dead. That opened the floodgates. Every charity that could tie Mother’s Day to their organization tried to do so. And Anna was outraged.
One of the groups she went after was the Golden Rule Foundation, which promoted what was known as the Forgotten Mothers campaign to help poor women, including in Appalachia, where Anna was born. Where’s all this money going? she wanted to know.
Another was the Maternity Center Association, which was based in New York City and very focused on the idea of improving maternal mortality and health. Maternal deaths were still extremely high in the 1930s and the MCA was trying to address that problem in an era when you weren’t even supposed to say the word “pregnancy” in public, on the radio, or in print. MCA trained public health nurses and nurse-midwives. They also had classes on nutrition and prenatal and postnatal care. At first, their funding came from the federal government, but when that program dried up in 1929, they needed to raise money to get their message out. Mothers’ Day was perfect for that—to get around Anna’s trademark, they moved the apostrophe in the name. There’s a great quote from a magazine article at the time that summed up their sentiment: “Women are dying, and we’re giving them potted plants.”
They had a lot of very big-name supporters, like Eleanor Roosevelt and Frances Perkins [the Secretary of Labor, the first woman cabinet secretary, and a major architect of the New Deal]. Eleanor Roosevelt didn’t understand why Anna was so mad at her: “We’re promoting your day!”
Nonetheless, she accused the First Lady of “grand larceny of human reputation and achievement” for using her day in a manner Anna never intended. She often complained about Mrs. Roosevelt’s support of the charitable campaigns in telegrams to FDR. She even wrote Frances Perkins demanding that she resign; Anna accused her of using federal funds to support the MCA’s ability to steal the holiday.
How could Anna Jarvis have argued with the mission of saving mothers’ lives?
Some of it definitely was her ego. Some of it went back to Anna saying, Can we just have one day when we just love mothers and thank them? On this one day, do we have to upbraid women and tell them they’re not good enough mothers because they’re not educated enough, because they don’t see a doctor? She hated the idea that Mother’s Day came with conditions, or pity because you’re poor or uneducated. She wanted the message to be, unconditionally, “You’re a good mother.”
Her own mother would have loved what the Maternal Center Association was doing—educating and empowering mothers to survive childbirth and keep their children alive.
Over the years, she had so many fights, with so many powerful people—some women and a lot of men. How did they react?
Powerful men would say, well, she’s just crazy. And Anna definitely was intense. At one time she had over 30 lawsuits pending, according to a Newsweek article. But calling women crazy is historically how we’ve always dismissed them. She was an independent woman trying to carve out her life for herself and protect her intellectual property. I’ve got to admire her spunk. She would stand toe to toe with anyone. There wasn’t a man or a woman she was afraid of.
So what happened to Anna Jarvis? How did her battle over Mother’s Day end?
Her battle ends because she just couldn’t fight it anymore. It took everything out of her emotionally and physically—and financially. When the brother she lived with died in 1926, she inherited his money and used it to fund her work. But eventually it was gone. I have never come across anything that suggests that Anna Jarvis ever profited from Mother’s Day financially.
A Newsweek article from 1943 detailed her stumbling into a Philadelphia hospital, emaciated and sickly. She ended up in a sanitarium, like a nursing home. Her younger sister, who had been living with her, didn’t want to leave their house, and two months later she was found dead in the kitchen. Supposedly it was so cold that there were icicles hanging from the ceiling. Anna died in 1948 and was buried next to her mother, brother and sister in Philadelphia.
What would Anna think of Mother’s Day, or Mothers’ Day, today?
Anna would not be happy with the commercialization of it, but she would have approved of the more sentimental part of it: “Don’t shame me because all I want to worry about is my mother.”
And what do you think of it?
I’m surprised the day is not being used more for progressive movements. Maybe we should shame people for only caring about their own mothers. Especially in this environment. Maybe we really need to start worrying about all mothers. I live in a state with no abortion rights. I teach 19-year-olds who want to be mothers someday, but we don’t protect maternal health. I worry about my students. I worry about their futures.
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1236 (SoD #2367) - I Wish My Mom Was Here - Mother's Day 2022
Hi Mom,
I haven't written to you since January. Hi. How are you? I hope you are well where you are. I know some people think there's no question of that, but I do.
Yesterday marks 2500 days since you left, even though you had truly left long before that day.
I usually do not do this. I am publishing this post before I have posted #2636 from yesterday, Saturday, but I want to get my Mother's Day post up on the day itself and the previous post is going to take me longer.
I had a moment today. A moment of weeping. I really miss you this week, Mom.
When life events happen, then I want to share them with both of my parents, and one is missing.
I have support; my wife is here. But I wish you were here, too, Mom. I need you.
I had some bad news this week, and I am processing it. The processing would go easier with a hug from you.
Here's my collection of Mother's Day posts.
Blog Vacation Two 2022 - Vacation II Post #73
I took a "Blog Vacation" in 2021 from August 31st to October 14th. I did not stop posting daily; I just put the blog in a low power rotation and mostly kept it off social media. Like that vacation, for this second blog vacation now in 2022, I am alternating between reprints, shares with little to no commentary, and THAT ONE THING, which is an image from the folder with a few thoughts scribbled along with it. I am alternating these three modes as long as the vacation lasts (not sure how long), pre-publishing the posts, and not always pushing them to social media.
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1223 (SoD #2273) - Mother's Day 2021
Hi Mom,
I am not sure that I want to produce a long treatise for Mother's Day today. I am putting my feelings about the say in action by serving my wife, who is a mother, and thanking all the great mothers I know. Thank you all great mothers!!
I was braced for this day being difficult. It's been five years. This is the sixth year without you but the fifth mother's day without you, Mom.
I can cope with this loss much more easily. Grief is a blade that dulls with time but cuts when something sharpens it.
Regardless of the loss I feel, I feel such blessings and great value in all you gave me, Mom.
I remember it all, always.
I will never forget.
I toast all the great mothers of the world (as I am writing a story about a shitty one); Thank you for all the awesome.
Here's all the reprints, which is now an annual tradition.
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1199 (SoD #1909) - Mother's Day 2020
Hi Mom,
Here's my annual Mother's Day post. It seems that every year I just collect the posts of the previous years and their links.
This one, 2020, is a special Mother's Day as we're in the middle of a pandemic and restricted in what we can do by stay-at-home orders. I have been thinking a lot about you and how you would cope with the situation and not being able to go out. Near the end of your life, you were going out less and less, but before then, you were out a lot and liked going out.
Given that you stayed in a lot, I am not sure if you would have gotten the virus. So far Dad has been sheltering in place and has not contracted the virus. SO FAR. This viral outbreak could go on for a long time. In fact, it may never be over. We may not be able to make a vaccine, and we may not develop immunity. We're living in uncertain and strange times. I wish you were here so we could watch CNN together and criticize the "president" who has utterly failed in his and his administration's response to this crisis.
So, I am sitting here in front of your GO light doing my morning light treatment. I have taken to using your GO light out here in the living room in the morning as Liesel and I drink coffee, and sometimes watch CNN. Usually, I work on my blog for an hour or so before I start work. No work today. I am purposefully staying away from work completely for the entire day.
You know, Mom, we haven't talked in a while. Let me catch you up. I had an ear infection, and so I called for a phone appointment, got an antibiotic, and I feel better. We had some birds make a nest in the dryer vent because the geniuses who built our house put critter guards over all the vents except the dryer one. So, we had pest expert come, remove them, and attach a guard to the vent so this does not happen again. It was getting bad. The dryer could not dry things. I had to run a load of towels FOUR times in high to get them dry. Plus I was worried about the creatures -- which for a long time I was not sure were birds -- damaging the vent, the duct, and/or the dryer. I was going to try to take care of it all myself, but I really do not have the tools and equipment to take care of it. I felt it was worth the money to get the professional to come, even though risk of infection is an issue.
Here's a thing I would worry about with you at this time: people coming into your home and giving you the virus that way. Luckily, Dad has managed to stay safe from issues like that one as well.
Liesel has been buying cool plants and things for our home. The backyard grass especially is shooting up like crazy. The dogs are fine though both have been to the vet recently. Ellory had a tooth extraction last month and just returned for an ear infection. Satchel is having stomach issues and just got a second round of drugs for that issue.
We have new neighbors next door with a dog, and Ellory is out there all the time watching them and barking at them. Ellory has really taken to her Mom, who now works at home, and is in and out of her office all the time and spends as much time with her as possible. Satchel is sitting next t me as I type. She sticks pretty close to me because I feed her. She loves her Mom, too, but she's not stupid. She wants to be ready if there are extra treats.
I am doing much better than I expected I would with this pandemic. I just did a Zoom call with a local friend yesterday. I did a Zoom call with a bunch of K friends last week. I Zoom (yes verbing that noun) with colleagues, who are also friends, which is great. I walk the dogs. I read a lot. I am writing fiction, though not often enough. I am spending more time on this blog, though still not making enough headway on posts that are original and to which I wish to devote a great deal of attention. I am falling behind on Y&R again, but I am sure I will catch up. They film that so far ahead that even though they have closed down production they have not yet ... oh, I am wrong.
I guess I am not behind. I have a bunch of reruns that I can watch! :-) I was planning to do a blog post on this, but I have not yet.
It's been over a month since we had new comics. I am watching Survivor, which was all in the can before this pandemic hit, but I doubt that they do their usual live reveal of who won and the reunion show.
It's a strange time, Mom. We just turned on CNN, and they are discussing how we may not have foreign exchange students for a long time nor will our students study abroad.
We miss being able to go into Portland for dinner. We miss hair salon appointments. We miss walks through the city, but Liesel misses it more than I do.
I thought I would miss sports as those have been suspended since early March, but I don't miss them very much. I will be happy to have them back when they return, but I am doing just fine without them.
It will also be a long time before I feel deprived of new comics since I have such a huge back log of unread comics. I could probably go the rest of the year before I get through the stacks and boxes and graphic novels.
I am pledging the following: more time to write, bicycling, losing weight, being kind to everyone even my neighbors who are stupid about the virus and voted for Trump, finding more work or a new job.
I have enough here. I love you, Mom. I miss you. I wish you were here to talk about all these things. The hurt of missing is easier to live with each year. The grief and loss is still there, but it does not seem to surprise me or overcome me too much.
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1167 (SoD1543) - Mother's Day 2019
Hi Mom,
Following I am re-posting some of 2018's post, which also provides links to previous posts from 2017 and 2016.
Mother's Day four without you as we close in on the four year anniversary of your death.
What I wrote last year is still true. I am not wrecked. I have learned to live with it. I still grieve, and I still miss you, but it is easier to to cope, to get through the days, to carry on, to enjoy life. Really, there's little hardship. Maybe I have made peace with your death as a good thing for you -- whatever lies beyond this life it is a better place than here -- and less about me and my childish grief. It feels like childish, this grief, sometimes more than at other times. The grief reduces me to a little boy who wants his mommy rather than an adult man with a wife, kids, dogs, jobs, interests, hobbies, loves, passions, and arts.
I have a good life. Though I am mindful that my life is good, in large part, though not exclusively, because of you, Mom.
I am writing this post after Mother's Day. We had a good day gardening and doing lawn work. Piper, Adam, and their roommate Taylin came over and assembled our new grill, and then we had steak and salad and beer and pie made by Piper. Much better than going to URBAN FONDUE, which is what we did last year (BLECH).
The day ended with Killing Eve episode six and Game of Thrones episode five.
2018 marks my third Mother's Day without you, Mom, and I must say it's getting easier. Sure, I was sad. Sure, I miss you. I definitely thought of you. But I did not break down in tears like I did last year, I did not feel the lodestone anchor drag of depression, I was okay. Sure, I wish you were still with us, even in your last debilitated state, which is selfish of me, so probably it's just an emotional wish that when considered I would reject.
My other thought is that when I think of you, Mom, and I think of your legacy, what you gave to me, I think of how to be loving. I consider myself a very loving person, and I have fierce and unconditional love for my family, not just Dad and Lori, my sister, and her husband, but my immediate family, my wife, our kids, our dogs, our life together.
Though I am very aware of my own imperfections at showing my love and truly trying to appreciate my family unconditionally, because it does take effort to rise above petty annoyance and the day-to-day drudgery of trying to exist and keep things together, I do feel that you showed me by example, Mom, and you taught me by placing the highest value on how we love, being loving, living our lives as loving people. This is the greatest gift you could possibly have given me, Mom, because love is the greatest act that we can perform in our lives.
And so, I love my family very much. This may not be a unique thing. I would expect most people to confess to loving their families. Also, there are people out there who do a better job of showing it, owning it, living it than I do. But at least, I try, and I identify short-comings and work to improve them. I feel that effort counts for a lot.
Thanks, Mom.
Here's the link to last year's Mother's Day post with SOME OF the content to follow.
I thought I had something more prosaic and heart-felt for Mother's Day last year, but apparently I went with short comments on some photos in a trilogy of posts and then a follow-up Throwback Thursday.
Here's the links to those. I would rather present them this way than my usual re-publishing of the content.
Instead of prosaic and sentimental ruminations here, beyond what I have already written, I will instead add to the very first entry with an update about moving on.
I am still sad sometimes.
I grieve, Mom.
But I am living life and enjoying life and that's what you would want me to do.
And I know that because I hear you tell me with that voice in my head in a thousand ways throughout the year.
Here's the permanent dedicated link to my first Hey, Mom! post and the explanation of the feature it contains.
- Days ago = 1408 days ago - Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1905.12 - 10:10
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ - Days ago = 1772 days ago - Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2005.10 - 10:10
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ - Days ago = 2872 days ago - Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2305.14 - 10:10 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
- Days ago: MOM = 3965 days ago & DAD = 619 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2605.10 - 10:10
- New note started on 2410.28 - NEW (written 1708.27 and 1907.04) NOTE on time: On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of your death, Mom, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of your death, Mom. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom. I will never post Hey Moms at the time of Dad's death: 13:40 EDT. Dropped "Talk to you tomorrow, Mom" in the sign off on 1907.04. Should have done it sooner as this feature is no longer daily.
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