Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1223 (SoD #2273) - Mother's Day 2021

Mom with Lori at three months old - Nov. 1969

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1223 (SoD #2273) - Mother's Day 2021

Hi Mom,

I am not sure that I want to produce a long treatise for Mother's Day today. I am putting my feelings about the say in action by serving my wife, who is a mother, and thanking all the great mothers I know. Thank you all great mothers!!

I was braced for this day being difficult. It's been five years. This is the sixth year without you but the fifth mother's day without you, Mom.

I can cope with this loss much more easily. Grief is a blade that dulls with time but cuts when something sharpens it.

Regardless of the loss I feel, I feel such blessings and great value in all you gave me, Mom.

I remember it all, always.

I will never forget.

I toast all the great mothers of the world (as I am writing a story about a shitty one); Thank you for all the awesome.

Here's all the reprints, which is now an annual tradition.

Thanks for tuning in.

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1199 (SoD #1909) - Mother's Day 2020

Mom's Birthday 1970

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1199 (SoD #1909) - Mother's Day 2020


Hi Mom,

Here's my annual Mother's Day post. It seems that every year I just collect the posts of the previous years and their links.

This one, 2020, is a special Mother's Day as we're in the middle of a pandemic and restricted in what we can do by stay-at-home orders. I have been thinking a lot about you and how you would cope with the situation and not being able to go out. Near the end of your life, you were going out less and less, but before then, you were out a lot and liked going out.

Given that you stayed in a lot, I am not sure if you would have gotten the virus. So far Dad has been sheltering in place and has not contracted the virus. SO FAR. This viral outbreak could go on for a long time. In fact, it may never be over. We may not be able to make a vaccine, and we may not develop immunity. We're living in uncertain and strange times. I wish you were here so we could watch CNN together and criticize the "president" who has utterly failed in his and his administration's response to this crisis.

So, I am sitting here in front of your GO light doing my morning light treatment. I have taken to using your GO light out here in the living room in the morning as Liesel and I drink coffee, and sometimes watch CNN. Usually, I work on my blog for an hour or so before I start work. No work today. I am purposefully staying away from work completely for the entire day.

You know, Mom, we haven't talked in a while. Let me catch you up. I had an ear infection, and so I called for a phone appointment, got an antibiotic, and I feel better. We had some birds make a nest in the dryer vent because the geniuses who built our house put critter guards over all the vents except the dryer one. So, we had pest expert come, remove them, and attach a guard to the vent so this does not happen again. It was getting bad. The dryer could not dry things. I had to run a load of towels FOUR times in high to get them dry. Plus I was worried about the creatures -- which for a long time I was not sure were birds -- damaging the vent, the duct, and/or the dryer. I was going to try to take care of it all myself, but I really do not have the tools and equipment to take care of it. I felt it was worth the money to get the professional to come, even though risk of infection is an issue.

Here's a thing I would worry about with you at this time: people coming into your home and giving you the virus that way. Luckily, Dad has managed to stay safe from issues like that one as well.

Liesel has been buying cool plants and things for our home. The backyard grass especially is shooting up like crazy. The dogs are fine though both have been to the vet recently. Ellory had a tooth extraction last month and just returned for an ear infection. Satchel is having stomach issues and just got a second round of drugs for that issue.

We have new neighbors next door with a dog, and Ellory is out there all the time watching them and barking at them. Ellory has really taken to her Mom, who now works at home, and is in and out of her office all the time and spends as much time with her as possible. Satchel is sitting next t me as I type. She sticks pretty close to me because I feed her. She loves her Mom, too, but she's not stupid. She wants to be ready if there are extra treats.

I am doing much better than I expected I would with this pandemic. I just did a Zoom call with a local friend yesterday. I did a Zoom call with a bunch of K friends last week. I Zoom (yes verbing that noun) with colleagues, who are also friends, which is great. I walk the dogs. I read a lot. I am writing fiction, though not often enough. I am spending more time on this blog, though still not making enough headway on posts that are original and to which I wish to devote a great deal of attention. I am falling behind on Y&R again, but I am sure I will catch up. They film that so far ahead that even though they have closed down production they have not yet ... oh, I am wrong.

https://tvline.com/2020/04/20/young-and-restless-last-new-episode-final-original-reruns/

I guess I am not behind. I have a bunch of reruns that I can watch! :-) I was planning to do a blog post on this, but I have not yet.

It's been over a month since we had new comics. I am watching Survivor, which was all in the can before this pandemic hit, but I doubt that they do their usual live reveal of who won and the reunion show.

It's a strange time, Mom. We just turned on CNN, and they are discussing how we may not have foreign exchange students for a long time nor will our students study abroad.

We miss being able to go into Portland for dinner. We miss hair salon appointments. We miss walks through the city, but Liesel misses it more than I do.

I thought I would miss sports as those have been suspended since early March, but I don't miss them very much. I will be happy to have them back when they return, but I am doing just fine without them.

It will also be a long time before I feel deprived of new comics since I have such a huge back log of unread comics. I could probably go the rest of the year before I get through the stacks and boxes and graphic novels.

I am pledging the following: more time to write, bicycling, losing weight, being kind to everyone even my neighbors who are stupid about the virus and voted for Trump, finding more work or a new job.

I have enough here. I love you, Mom. I miss you. I wish you were here to talk about all these things. The hurt of missing is easier to live with each year. The grief and loss is still there, but it does not seem to surprise me or overcome me too much.

Until I see you again, Mom.

Reprint:

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1167 (SoD1543) - Mother's Day 2019

1976

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #1167 (SoD1543) - Mother's Day 2019

Hi Mom,

Following I am re-posting some of 2018's post, which also provides links to previous posts from 2017 and 2016.

Mother's Day four without you as we close in on the four year anniversary of your death.

What I wrote last year is still true. I am not wrecked. I have learned to live with it. I still grieve, and I still miss you, but it is easier to to cope, to get through the days, to carry on, to enjoy life. Really, there's little hardship. Maybe I have made peace with your death as a good thing for you -- whatever lies beyond this life it is a better place than here -- and less about me and my childish grief. It feels like childish, this grief, sometimes more than at other times. The grief reduces me to a little boy who wants his mommy rather than an adult man with a wife, kids, dogs, jobs, interests, hobbies, loves, passions, and arts.

I have a good life. Though I am mindful that my life is good, in large part, though not exclusively, because of you, Mom.

I am writing this post after Mother's Day. We had a good day gardening and doing lawn work. Piper, Adam, and their roommate Taylin came over and assembled our new grill, and then we had steak and salad and beer and pie made by Piper. Much better than going to URBAN FONDUE, which is what we did last year (BLECH).

The day ended with Killing Eve episode six and Game of Thrones episode five.

A VERY GOOD DAY.

Last year's post (2018):

https://sensedoubt.blogspot.com/2018/05/hey-mom-talking-to-my-mother-1042.html

Mom's at Dad's 50th bday - 1985

But I do have a couple of thoughts to share.

2018 marks my third Mother's Day without you, Mom, and I must say it's getting easier. Sure, I was sad. Sure, I miss you. I definitely thought of you. But I did not break down in tears like I did last year, I did not feel the lodestone anchor drag of depression, I was okay. Sure, I wish you were still with us, even in your last debilitated state, which is selfish of me, so probably it's just an emotional wish that when considered I would reject.

My other thought is that when I think of you, Mom, and I think of your legacy, what you gave to me, I think of how to be loving. I consider myself a very loving person, and I have fierce and unconditional love for my family, not just Dad and Lori, my sister, and her husband, but my immediate family, my wife, our kids, our dogs, our life together.

Though I am very aware of my own imperfections at showing my love and truly trying to appreciate my family unconditionally, because it does take effort to rise above petty annoyance and the day-to-day drudgery of trying to exist and keep things together, I do feel that you showed me by example, Mom, and you taught me by placing the highest value on how we love, being loving, living our lives as loving people. This is the greatest gift you could possibly have given me, Mom, because love is the greatest act that we can perform in our lives.

And so, I love my family very much. This may not be a unique thing. I would expect most people to confess to loving their families. Also, there are people out there who do a better job of showing it, owning it, living it than I do. But at least, I try, and I identify short-comings and work to improve them. I feel that effort counts for a lot.

Thanks, Mom.

Here's the link to last year's Mother's Day post with SOME OF the content to follow.

Mother's Day 2017 - Hey Mom #677

I thought I had something more prosaic and heart-felt for Mother's Day last year, but apparently I went with short comments on some photos in a trilogy of posts and then  a follow-up Throwback Thursday.

Here's the links to those. I would rather present them this way than my usual re-publishing of the content.

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #304 - Mother's Day Trilogy Part One

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #305 - Mother's Day Trilogy Part Two

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #306 - Mother's Day Trilogy Part Three

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #310 - Mother's Day 2010 - Throwback Thursday

Instead of prosaic and sentimental ruminations here, beyond what I have already written, I will instead add to the very first entry with an update about moving on.

I am still sad sometimes.

I grieve, Mom.

But I am living life and enjoying life and that's what you would want me to do.

And I know that because I hear you tell me with that voice in my head in a thousand ways throughout the year.

Here's the permanent dedicated link to my first Hey, Mom! post and the explanation of the feature it contains.

HEY, MOM #1

2002

- Days ago = 1408 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1905.12 - 10:10

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- Days ago = 1772 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2005.10 - 10:10

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Reflect and connect.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you, Mom.

I miss you so very much, Mom.
Talk to you soon, Mom.

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- Days ago = 2137 days ago

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2105.09 - 10:10

NEW (written 1708.27 and 1907.04) NOTE on time: I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of your death, Mom, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of your death, Mom. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom. Dropped "Talk to you tomorrow, Mom" in the sign off on 1907.04. Should have done it sooner as this feature is no longer daily.