Many people might think I overdo with commemorating my parents and their lives and that I am wallowing in grief and over-focused on their deaths.
I would push back against this accusation. I have this blog for me more than for readers. Taking a week after the two year mark of my Dad's death feels right. I like looking at the old photos, the previous blog entries that I reprint.
And if I am "wallowing" in anything, it's gratitude. I have a great life. I am very thankful for my life and all the people who are and have been a part of it. My parents, surely, were a very important part of my life and in making it what it is.
I am celebrating my life, their lives, and in so doing I gain much needed perspective.
As I have written before, one does not "get over" grief. Instead one finds a way to absorb it into one's life, a way to live with it. I remind myself of that creed every day.
Thanks for tuning in.
Link to the original post I am reprinting below:
A Sense of Doubt blog post #3494 - TWO WEEKS LATER - Reprint of Hey Mom #217 and T-shirt #157 and #78 - GRATITUDE
It is not lost on me that though I originally had this post scheduled for yesterday, 9/10, posting it today on the 23rd anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the WTC, Pentagon, etc.
We all should take the time to be mindful of gratitude and all things for which we are grateful each and every day.
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Thanks for tuning in.
Link to the original post I am reprinting below:
Wednesday, September 11, 2024
It is not lost on me that though I originally had this post scheduled for yesterday, 9/10, posting it today on the 23rd anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the WTC, Pentagon, etc.
I was not ready to write this post, and so I delayed.
I recently took a "character strengths" test, and GRATITUDE was my highest ranked character strength out of 24 such aspects of my personality.
I told the Big Guy, my Dad, about how grateful I am for everything in my life, most of which is due to him and my Mom.
I had thought of listing all those things for which I am grateful here, but maybe that's private.
Maybe all I need to write is how grateful I am. How deep my gratitude fills me.
I have regrets of things I have not done, opportunities I wish I had taken advantage of, but I am also pleased with my life, and I owe so much of that to my Dad. I told him so in his last hours.
We all should take the time to be mindful of gratitude and all things for which we are grateful each and every day.
I do.
This is blog is just one way that I show that gratitude.
I am still processing that two weeks ago I was holding Dad's hand and watching his breathing slow.
14 days. That's more sevens and fours (Mom died 7/4 and 7*4 is 28). And half of 28, the day Dad died.
I am still processing that two weeks ago I was holding Dad's hand and watching his breathing slow.
14 days. That's more sevens and fours (Mom died 7/4 and 7*4 is 28). And half of 28, the day Dad died.
14 days.
Seems longer.
Seems shorter.
But 62 years and 8 months. I am grateful for all of that time. So grateful.
BTW, I love the picture above that I believe my sister took as she is not in it. I am guessing it's late 1970s when I was in high school. I don't think it was from the early 1980s when I was in college. In one of the other photos, Lori looks young, maybe 8-9ish. Even 10. Could be 1980. I have all of Dad's little black books, so I could research it and maybe figure it out. But not today.
Thanks for tuning in.
The link to the original post that I am reprinting below:
A Sense of Doubt blog post #2558 - REPRINT WEEK 08 - re: HEY MOM #217 - Gratitude
It's been a while since I featured a picture of myself and Mom up top, so there you go. Easter 1966. I am four years old. We're in Midland, living next to my grand parents and about to move to Traverse City. And my mother is still channeling Jackie Kennedy.
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2409.11 - 13:40 (1:40 p.m.)
BTW, I love the picture above that I believe my sister took as she is not in it. I am guessing it's late 1970s when I was in high school. I don't think it was from the early 1980s when I was in college. In one of the other photos, Lori looks young, maybe 8-9ish. Even 10. Could be 1980. I have all of Dad's little black books, so I could research it and maybe figure it out. But not today.
Thanks for tuning in.
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COUNTDOWN!!!
The link to the original post that I am reprinting below:
Friday, February 18, 2022
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| Easter 1966 |
It's been a while since I featured a picture of myself and Mom up top, so there you go. Easter 1966. I am four years old. We're in Midland, living next to my grand parents and about to move to Traverse City. And my mother is still channeling Jackie Kennedy.
Hi there.
How are you?
Are you doing all right?
Please take care of yourself, okay?
Sunday, August 25, 2013
T-shirt #157: Gull Lake
LAST WORD ON THE GRATITUDE THING: I got the idea for the gratitude prayer (meditation, list, incantation, catalogue, rumination, reflection, or whatever you want to call it) from a movie called The Secret. I am not quite promoting the movie as a "true" exposure of an actual science. In fact, many of the stories in the film are a bit fatuous. However, I like watching it. I showed it to a class (my second viewing) about a month ago, and the idea of the daily gratitude thing struck me. In the movie, one of the interviewees (I forget which one and it's not important) explained how he had a rock in his pocket. At night, he would set it on his dresser with the other contents of his pockets. The next morning, he would retrieve it and remember to list the things for which he was grateful as a daily routine, like a prayer. He had a visitor from South Africa and told the man about his rock and gratitude practice. The man called it a "gratitude rock." After returning to South Africa, he wrote his American friend and asked for some gratitude rocks to be sent to him because one of his children was very sick, and he did not have the money to seek medical care for the child. The interviewee balked at sending "gratitude rocks" because, after all, "they are just rocks," he said. But he found three nice rocks and sent them to his South African friend. Months later, the South African wrote back. The rocks worked! His son was healed and recovered. They paid for his medical treatment by selling a hundred gratitude rocks. People believed in the power of the gratitude rocks.
I found this story inspirational. I do not use a rock, but every day, I make my gratitude list. I send energy into the universe. I focus on the positive and try to limit or dismiss the negative.
I think it's working.
LOW POWER MODE: I sometimes put the blog in what I call LOW POWER MODE. If you see this note, the blog is operating like a sleeping computer, maintaining static memory, but making no new computations. If I am in low power mode, it's because I do not have time to do much that's inventive, original, or even substantive on the blog. This means I am posting straight shares, limited content posts, reprints, often something qualifying for the THAT ONE THING category and other easy to make posts to keep me daily. That's the deal. Thanks for reading.
Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #217 - Gratitude
Hi Mom, Here's some content from my T-shirts blog. I am still trying to catch up since I have fallen behind on my daily regimen.
I am very grateful for you, Mom, and for our family (see next two photos).
I think about our times together very often, Mom. These memories fill me with warmth and love and an ache that is never going to subside.
At least, I know that I told you how grateful I am for you. I know that I did not leave anything unsaid or finish our time together on hurtful or hateful words.
I am grateful to have lived with you for so long, to be able to be raised by you, and then in turn, to be able to help take care of you. I am grateful that you saw me get married and got to know my wife and kids and pets (Vespers and Satchel).
I am grateful for all you have given me because it's so much and I find new layers of it all the time.
FROM T-SHIRT #78
So, I am very grateful for Suzanne Vega and all that she has given me in my life, all that I have shared with her through music, what seems like deeply personal music, without knowing her at all, though feeling like I do know her, know her music.
So, each morning, I run the list of things for which I am grateful. I am not always listing musical artists, like Suzanne Vega, because I focus mostly on my family and community. Though from time to time, musical artists will drift into my consciousness, and I will thank the universe for them, infuse the positive energy of my love into the fabric of the cosmos, because, after all, we are all connected.
LAST WORD ON THE GRATITUDE THING: I got the idea for the gratitude prayer (meditation, list, incantation, catalogue, rumination, reflection, or whatever you want to call it) from a movie called The Secret. I am not quite promoting the movie as a "true" exposure of an actual science. In fact, many of the stories in the film are a bit fatuous. However, I like watching it. I showed it to a class (my second viewing) about a month ago, and the idea of the daily gratitude thing struck me. In the movie, one of the interviewees (I forget which one and it's not important) explained how he had a rock in his pocket. At night, he would set it on his dresser with the other contents of his pockets. The next morning, he would retrieve it and remember to list the things for which he was grateful as a daily routine, like a prayer. He had a visitor from South Africa and told the man about his rock and gratitude practice. The man called it a "gratitude rock." After returning to South Africa, he wrote his American friend and asked for some gratitude rocks to be sent to him because one of his children was very sick, and he did not have the money to seek medical care for the child. The interviewee balked at sending "gratitude rocks" because, after all, "they are just rocks," he said. But he found three nice rocks and sent them to his South African friend. Months later, the South African wrote back. The rocks worked! His son was healed and recovered. They paid for his medical treatment by selling a hundred gratitude rocks. People believed in the power of the gratitude rocks.
I found this story inspirational. I do not use a rock, but every day, I make my gratitude list. I send energy into the universe. I focus on the positive and try to limit or dismiss the negative.
I think it's working.
Reflect and connect.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
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- Days ago = 219 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1602.09 - 10:10
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2202.18 - 10:10
- Days ago = 2422 days ago
Reprint week continues with a reminder about gratitude, which is one of my highest values.
But just for some extra value, here's where I originally wrote about gratitude:
I would not be whom I am and where I am if not for other people who love and support me.
My amazing wife alone deserves a great deal of this praise even though she does not like me to even mention her on my blog. But when I mention her in this context, it's more about me than it is about her. It's about how great she is at supporting ME.
So that.
This post originally appeared here:
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
But just for some extra value, here's where I originally wrote about gratitude:
Sunday, August 25, 2013
T-shirt #157: Gull Lake
And an excerpt:
LAST WORD ON THE GRATITUDE THING: I got the idea for the gratitude prayer (meditation, list, incantation, catalogue, rumination, reflection, or whatever you want to call it) from a movie called The Secret. I am not quite promoting the movie as a "true" exposure of an actual science. In fact, many of the stories in the film are a bit fatuous. However, I like watching it. I showed it to a class (my second viewing) about a month ago, and the idea of the daily gratitude thing struck me. In the movie, one of the interviewees (I forget which one and it's not important) explained how he had a rock in his pocket. At night, he would set it on his dresser with the other contents of his pockets. The next morning, he would retrieve it and remember to list the things for which he was grateful as a daily routine, like a prayer. He had a visitor from South Africa and told the man about his rock and gratitude practice. The man called it a "gratitude rock." After returning to South Africa, he wrote his American friend and asked for some gratitude rocks to be sent to him because one of his children was very sick, and he did not have the money to seek medical care for the child. The interviewee balked at sending "gratitude rocks" because, after all, "they are just rocks," he said. But he found three nice rocks and sent them to his South African friend. Months later, the South African wrote back. The rocks worked! His son was healed and recovered. They paid for his medical treatment by selling a hundred gratitude rocks. People believed in the power of the gratitude rocks.I found this story inspirational. I do not use a rock, but every day, I make my gratitude list. I send energy into the universe. I focus on the positive and try to limit or dismiss the negative.
I think it's working.
LOW POWER MODE: I sometimes put the blog in what I call LOW POWER MODE. If you see this note, the blog is operating like a sleeping computer, maintaining static memory, but making no new computations. If I am in low power mode, it's because I do not have time to do much that's inventive, original, or even substantive on the blog. This means I am posting straight shares, limited content posts, reprints, often something qualifying for the THAT ONE THING category and other easy to make posts to keep me daily. That's the deal. Thanks for reading.
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| Easter 1966 |
Hi Mom, Here's some content from my T-shirts blog. I am still trying to catch up since I have fallen behind on my daily regimen.I am very grateful for you, Mom, and for our family (see next two photos).
I think about our times together very often, Mom. These memories fill me with warmth and love and an ache that is never going to subside.
At least, I know that I told you how grateful I am for you. I know that I did not leave anything unsaid or finish our time together on hurtful or hateful words.
I am grateful to have lived with you for so long, to be able to be raised by you, and then in turn, to be able to help take care of you. I am grateful that you saw me get married and got to know my wife and kids and pets (Vespers and Satchel).
I am grateful for all you have given me because it's so much and I find new layers of it all the time.
FROM T-SHIRT #78
So, I am very grateful for Suzanne Vega and all that she has given me in my life, all that I have shared with her through music, what seems like deeply personal music, without knowing her at all, though feeling like I do know her, know her music.
So, each morning, I run the list of things for which I am grateful. I am not always listing musical artists, like Suzanne Vega, because I focus mostly on my family and community. Though from time to time, musical artists will drift into my consciousness, and I will thank the universe for them, infuse the positive energy of my love into the fabric of the cosmos, because, after all, we are all connected.
LAST WORD ON THE GRATITUDE THING: I got the idea for the gratitude prayer (meditation, list, incantation, catalogue, rumination, reflection, or whatever you want to call it) from a movie called The Secret. I am not quite promoting the movie as a "true" exposure of an actual science. In fact, many of the stories in the film are a bit fatuous. However, I like watching it. I showed it to a class (my second viewing) about a month ago, and the idea of the daily gratitude thing struck me. In the movie, one of the interviewees (I forget which one and it's not important) explained how he had a rock in his pocket. At night, he would set it on his dresser with the other contents of his pockets. The next morning, he would retrieve it and remember to list the things for which he was grateful as a daily routine, like a prayer. He had a visitor from South Africa and told the man about his rock and gratitude practice. The man called it a "gratitude rock." After returning to South Africa, he wrote his American friend and asked for some gratitude rocks to be sent to him because one of his children was very sick, and he did not have the money to seek medical care for the child. The interviewee balked at sending "gratitude rocks" because, after all, "they are just rocks," he said. But he found three nice rocks and sent them to his South African friend. Months later, the South African wrote back. The rocks worked! His son was healed and recovered. They paid for his medical treatment by selling a hundred gratitude rocks. People believed in the power of the gratitude rocks.I found this story inspirational. I do not use a rock, but every day, I make my gratitude list. I send energy into the universe. I focus on the positive and try to limit or dismiss the negative.
I think it's working.
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Thank you, Mom.+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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Reflect and connect.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
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- Days ago = 219 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1602.09 - 10:10
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2202.18 - 10:10
- Days ago = 2422 days ago
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2409.11 - 13:40 (1:40 p.m.)
ANOTHER post at 1:40 p.m. in honor of the time of Dad's death.
- Days ago: MOM = 3458 days ago & DAD = 014 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I plan to continue Hey Mom posts at least twice per week but will continue to post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I plan to continue Hey Mom posts at least twice per week but will continue to post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2609.01 - 13:40
posted at 1:40 p.m. in honor of the time of Dad's death.
- Days ago: MOM = 4079 days ago & DAD = 733 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
- Days ago: MOM = 4079 days ago & DAD = 733 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
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