Though the current project started as a series of posts charting my grief journey after the death of my mother, I am no longer actively grieving. Now, the blog charts a conversation in living, mainly whatever I want it to be. This is an activity that goes well with the theme of this blog (updated 2018). The Sense of Doubt blog is dedicated to my motto: EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY. I promote questioning everything because just when I think I know something is concrete, I find out that it’s not.
Hey, Mom! The Explanation.
Here's the permanent dedicated link to my first Hey, Mom! post and the explanation of the feature it contains.
The horns in the song were influenced by Charlie Mingus.
The repeating bass line is urgent and a stern warning of the horrors to come, not fully envisioned in the year 2000 or were they?
Critics were of mixed opinion about the song, some savage in their criticism, but its warning, its clarion call bass line and the cacophony of horns that follow is even more relevant in 2025 than it was twenty-five years ago.
This song provided the focal point, even a fulcrum, for this music mix.
I have curated it for a couple of months trying to get a good sequence. I did a pretty good job with the mix, though I still feel that I could link the sounds a bit better.
In terms of the content of the songs, though not every song speaks to this theme, the general theme is terror, horror, abject disbelief, and more about what I call the STATE OF THE HATE NATION, which is its own category on the blog.
The mix moves from loud to quiet and shifts tone several times with some artists heavily featured, such as Radiohead and assorted solo projects, Peter Gabriel, Rage Against the Machine, Nine Inch Nails, and a few more. The mix is framed by "The Spoils" by Massive Attack, which is the last track, and though it cannot be the first track, because of the Radiohead, it is the fifth, so early in the mix.
Originally, it was the third track, but when I really fell in love with the sound of the Fever Ray song
"Keep The Streets Empty For Me," I had to get that song early in the mix. Radiohead's "The Pyramid Song" had to go with it as those flow well. Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill" felt right after Radiohead's "The National Anthem," so when adding the other two songs, "The Spoils" shifts down to the five spot.
Lyrically, "The Spoils" seems to intersect with Radiohead's "The National Anthem," at least in my head.
Peter Gabriel's "The Court" musically feels right in following "the Spoils." And lyrically it feels like a culmination of all the songs before it in the mix.
And then a big shift to a signature anthem song for me as I shared last week:
I also included one of Paul Weller new songs from this year's album, a cover version of the Guerillas song from 1969. I almost took out that song because I didn't think it fit, but the more I listened, the more I think it does fit.
Cabaret Voltaire, Lorde, and Nick Cave have to be in here, too.
I removed a half dozen or more songs and replaced them with tunes that fit much better like "Strangers" by the Kinks, "Farewell Transmission" by Ohia, "Bete Noire" by Bryan Ferry, and "Untitled" (2012 Remaster) by Interpol.
"Anguish, Fear, Lamenting" as the 10,000 Maniacs sang in the song about dropping the first atomic bomb on Japan: "Grey Victory."
I also have some great sequences in terms of how songs link in sound and content, like this one:
[18] Carriers "Every Time I Feel Afraid" official lyric video
[19] Doechii - Anxiety (Visualizer)
[20] Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Spitting Off The Edge of the World ft. Perfume Genius (Live in KC)
[21] Radiohead - I Might Be Wrong
[22] Cabaret Voltaire : Do Right
Feeling afraid, anxiety, spit off the edge of the world, though hedge (might be wrong), but then DO RIGHT.
The mix has good diversity though not the widest scope of diversity. But a variety of men, women, groups, people of color, and time periods.
This mix of great music is helping me; I hope it helps you, too.
PUSH THE SKY AWAY!
35 songs in this mix for 1935, the year my father was born.
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2509.01 - 10:10
- Days ago: MOM = 3714 days ago & DAD = 367 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
A Sense of Doubt blog post #3756 - Radiohead's Thom Yorke Releases about Israel and the Suffering in Gaza
I don't feel like writing much today.
I had a book review scheduled, but I haven't written it yet.
I have done a lot of writing this week. Personal things, a work thing, some fiction. several grad school things. I need to take a breath.
Plus tomorrow will be about the death of a great writer, and the post will be labor intensive.
However, the Internet always provides. This story popped up in one of those "top stories for you" things in Google Chrome.
I am not surprised that Yorke's view align very closely with my own as I have admired Yorke ever since I discovered Radiohead just before or with the release of Kid A in 2000.
I went made for everything I could get my hands on about the band, which is when I really cemented my love of British music magazines.
I have added a track from Yorke's new album with Mark Pritchard that goes nicely with Yorke's remarks on Gaza, Israel, and Hamas.
Side note, while in a waiting room the other day, someone praised me for the pin clipped to my bag. I had quite forgotten it was there and took me a few seconds to process: "FREE PALESTINE."
Also, Paul Weller put FREE PALESTINE messages in most of his post lately, even those about his birthday.
The American news media seem strangled to even speak the truth about the pursuit of genocide, the starvation, and the agenda of extremist Zionists to exterminate and take over the embattled region so as
Thom Yorke has released a statement about Israel and the war in Gaza. The Radiohead and Smile frontman began his statement by acknowledging the pro-Palestine concertgoer who shouted at him about the war during an Australian show last year. “Some guy shouting at me from the dark last year when I was picking up a guitar to sing the final song alone in front of 9000 people in Melbourne didn’t really seem like the best moment to discuss the unfolding humanitarian catastrophe in Gaza,” Yorke shared. “Afterwards I remained in shock that my supposed silence was somehow being taken as complicity, and I struggled to find an adequate way to respond to this and to carry on with the rest of the shows on the tour.”
Yorke continued by stating his opposition to Israel’s prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, and his government. (Around the time Radiohead last performed in Israel, in 2017, Yorke also made clear his opposition to Netanyahu.) “I think Netanyahu and his crew of extremists are totally out of control and need to be stopped, and that the international community should put all the pressure it can on them to cease,” the musician wrote. “Their excuse of self-defence has long since worn thin and has been replaced by a transparent desire to take control of Gaza and the West Bank permanently.” Additionally, Yorke called the blockade of aid to Gaza “horrific.”
Yorke also condemned Hamas, admonishing the Palestinian Islamist group that governs the Gaza Strip for the October 7, 2023, attacks that precipitated the Israeli military’s offensive in the region. “Why did Hamas choose the truly horrific acts of October 7th?” he asked. “The answer seems obvious, and I believe Hamas chooses too to hide behind the suffering of its people, in an equally cynical fashion for their own purposes.”
For much of the rest of his note, Yorke discussed the largely online conversations about Israel and Palestine. “I sympathize completely with the desire to ‘do something’ when we are witnessing such horrific suffering on our devices every day. It completely makes sense,” he said. “But I now think it is a dangerous illusion to believe reposting, or one or two line messages are meaningful, especially if it is to condemn your fellow human beings. There are unintended consequences.”
The musician also made reference to “those i work with,” likely alluding to his Radiohead and Smile bandmate Jonny Greenwood, who has been a subject of interest with regard to the war in Gaza. Greenwood is married to Sharona Katan, an Israeli artist of Egyptian and Iraqi descent, and he has collaborated closely with the Israeli musician Dudu Tassa. The musicians also recently had two UK concerts canceled after pressure from the the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) campaign.
Some guy shouting at me from the dark last year when I was picking up a guitar to sing the final song alone in front of 9000 people in Melbourne didn’t really seem like the best moment to discuss the unfolding humanitarian catastrophe in Gaza.
Afterwards I remained in shock that my supposed silence was somehow being taken as complicity, and I struggled to find an adequate way to respond to this and to carry on with the rest of the shows on the tour.
That silence, my attempt to show respect for all those who are suffering and those who have died, and to not trivialize it in a few words, has allowed other opportunistic groups to use intimidation and defamation to fill in the blanks, and I regret giving them this chance. This has had a heavy toll on my mental health.
I would hope that for anyone who has ever listened to a note of the music of my band or any of the music i have created over the years, or looked at the artwork or read any of the lyrics, it would be self-evident that I could not possibly support any form of extremism or dehumanization of others. All i see in a lifetime’s worth of work with my fellow musicians and artists is pushing against such things, trying to create work that goes beyond what it means to be controlled, coerced, threatened, to suffer, to be intimidated .. and instead to encourage critical thinking beyond borders, the commonality of love and experience and free creative expression.
Sounds naff … but true.
For others let me fill in the blanks now, so we’re nice and clear.
I think Netanyahu and his crew of extremists are totally out of control and need to be stopped, and that the international community should put all the pressure it can on them to cease. Their excuse of self-defence has long since worn thin and has been replaced by a transparent desire to take control of Gaza and the West Bank permanently.
I believe this ultra-nationalist administration has hidden itself behind a terrified & grieving people and used them to deflect any criticism, using that fear and grief to further their ultra-nationalist agenda with terrible consequences, as we see now with the horrific blockade of aid to Gaza.
While our lives tick along as normal these endless thousands of innocent human souls are still being expelled from the earth… for what?
At the same time the unquestioning Free Palestine refrain that surrounds us all does not answer the simple question of why the hostages have still not all been returned? For what possible reason?
Why did Hamas choose the truly horrific acts of October 7th? The answer seems obvious, and I believe Hamas chooses too to hide behind the suffering of its people, in an equally cynical fashion for their own purposes.
I also think there is a further and extremely important point to make.
Social media witch-hunts (nothing new) on either side pressurizing artists and whoever they feel like that week to make statements etc do very little except heighten tension, fear and over-simplification of what are complex problems that merit proper face to face debate by people who genuinely wish the killing to stop and an understanding to be found.
This kind of deliberate polarization does not serve our fellow human beings and perpetuates a constant ‘us and them’ mentality. It destroys hope and maintains a sense of isolation, the very things that extremists use to maintain their position. We facilitate their hiding in plain sight if we assume that the extremists and the people they claim to represent are one and the same, indivisible.
If our world is ever able to move on from these dark times and find peace it will only be when we rediscover what we share in common, and the extremists are sent back to sit in the darkness from whence they came.
I sympathize completely with the desire to ‘do something’ when we are witnessing such horrific suffering on our devices every day. It completely makes sense. But I now think it is a dangerous illusion to believe reposting, or one or two line messages are meaningful, especially if it is to condemn your fellow human beings. There are unintended consequences.
It is shouting from the darkness. It is not looking people in the eye when you speak. It is making dangerous assumptions. It is not debate and it is not critical thinking.
Importantly, it is open to online manipulation of all kinds, both mechanistic and political.
What is the alternative? I can’t answer that easily. I do know in communities around the globe this subject is now dangerously toxic and we are in uncharted waters. We need to turn back.
I am sure that, to this point, what I have written here will in no way satisfy those who choose to target myself or those i work with, they will spend time picking holes and looking for reasons to continue, we are an opportunity not to be missed, no doubt, and by either side.
I have written this in the simple hope that i can join with the many millions of others praying for this suffering, isolation and death to stop, praying that we can collectively regain our humanity and dignity and our ability to reach understanding .. that one day soon this darkness will have passed.
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2505.31 - 10:10
- Days ago: MOM = 3621 days ago & DAD = 275 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
This mix also uses a theme of Radiohead music to bind it all together.
It starts and ends with Radiohead's "Sail to the Moon" from Hail to the Thief, which is also where the title comes from.
There's more Radiohead in the mix but mostly in the form of the side project THE SMILE.
I think the first six cuts really work well together, especially the flow from Radiohead's "Sail to the Moon," The Smile's "Speech Bubbles," and David Bowie's "Some Are" in a set of three and then a pause for the circus barker who opens "Live With Me" by Massive Attack and the devastating video of extreme alcohol abuse.
Two more Massive Attack songs follow though not immediately. There's also the great interjection of "The Kiss" by the Cure (at #8, which is significant as I will explain) with its driving guitars between "The Spoils" by Massive Attack with Hope Sandoval and David Bowie's throbbing synths of "All Saints" before the lull of Tracey Thorn's vocals on "Protection," the last of the Massive Attack songs in the mix. I return to Hope Sandoval with "Trouble" joined by her band the Warm Inventions.
There's two by björk, two by Nightmares on Wax, two by Portishead, two by Moby, and two by Goldfrapp, which is intentional.
The William Orbit produced song from Beth Orton off her first album is a gem that slips in here nicely as are single tracks by Can, Thievery Corporation, Zero 7, and Sigur Ros.
There are 28 tracks to pair with "The Kiss" at number eight for my father, who passed away on 8/28/24, and the 200th day since his death was yesterday.
It's not possible to make a mix of "protest" songs, of music completely relevant in all ways to the destruction our country is experiencing under white supremacist, Christian Nationalist, patriarchal, fascist rule.
These are songs for coping, for trying to get by, for remembering the good things, for their energy, their raw, emotional weight.
Thanks for tuning in.
BTW, yes, that's a picture of a van painted with the cover art of Radiohead's Hail to the Thief. I found it on the Internet. I did not find it in the wild on my own.
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2503.17 - 10:10
- Days ago: MOM = 3546 days ago & DAD = 201 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
A Sense of Doubt blog post #3660 - A Mix - Stealing it Back - About Intolerance, Ignorance, and Stupidity - Music Monday for 2502.24
DAD: 180 days since you went away...
I am rather under the weather, both IRL as it's cold and rainy and as a metaphor for illness. Luckily, I had this one mostly written and ready to publish.
This mix went through some substantial edits.
I listened to Radiohead on repeat after the 2024 election, mostly Hail to the Thief, but also others, especially In Rainbows, which has jumped up in my esteem to maybe be THIRD over even The Bends and after Kid A (my number one) and Hail to the Thief (my number two).
After putting together the first three tracks, I did not know where to go next, and so I created a "remainders" playlist.
Fifteen tracks just didn't fit, first fifteen in that playlist, and then I added six more based on You Tube's recommendations.
I have been playing this mix since November, trying to find the right sequence and the right tracks. A couple still feel like they stick out a little, but then sometimes I like that jarring effect. I tried to group tracks by theme or types of artists.
Often these mixes are a clearinghouse for tracks in my FAVORITES, and this one is no different. But as I worked on it, I think I sequenced it in a meaningful way. I like the variety of voices and styles. Ending on "Freedom" by Beyonce and its recent use in Harris' political campaign was intentional, obviously.
I humbly assert that this may be one of my top ten best mixes ever.
To prove that point, it may be time for another mix round-up soon to go with these:
I have now started another mix that is Radiohead-centric and will give it the same vetting process of playing, adjusting, and considering for weeks or months until I am ready to post it here. Those who subscribe to my YOUTUBE channel will see the mix evolve, as I usually make them public. It's called "Brush the Cobwebs of the Sky," which is a line from the first song, "Sail to the Moon," which is also off Hail to the Thief.
Meanwhile, until that was one is ready, enjoy this one.
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2502.24 - 10:10
- Days ago: MOM = 3525 days ago & DAD = 180 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
A Sense of Doubt blog post #3555 - Hail to the Thief- RADIOHEAD - Music Monday for 2411.11
I have been listening to Radiohead's Hail to the Thief for 20 years.
21 to be precise.
After last week's election debacle, I turned to Radiohead, starting with Kid A and then turning to this album. I posted about "How to Disappear Completely" last week:
Though Kid A is my favorite Radiohead album, Hail to the Thief is a very, very close second.
I must confess that I was not crazy in love with In Rainbows (2007), The King of Limbs (2011), and A Moon Shaped Pool (2016) when I first heard them. But in the week since the November Fifth, now known as the Eve of Our Life in Hell, I am falling in love with them. They're really great!
Had Hail to the Thief come out when I was in college, I would have poured over the lyrics and memorized the whole thing, but adulting is harder. Though I have been listening to Hail to the Thief since its release, I never much even looked at the songs and the titles let alone the lyrics. And yet, in so many listens, surely over 100 and maybe approaching 200, much of the lyrical content has soaked in.
I share a link near the bottom for ALL THE LYRICS, and I share the song that Thom Yorke felt was the "most protest." "The Gloaming" ("Softly Open Our Mouths in the Cold") was almost the title of the album until Yorke heard protests to Bush's election as president as "Hail to the Thief."
"The Gloaming" is an electronic song with "mechanical" rhythms that Jonny Greenwood built from tape loops.[3] Greenwood described it as "very old school electronica: no computers, just analogue synths, tape machines, and sellotape".[9] Yorke said it was "the most explicit protest song on the record", with lyrics about the rise of fascism and "intolerance and bigotry and fear, and all the things that keep a population down".[20]
I love all the sources for the lyrics: Orwell, Dante's Inferno, fairy tales and folklore, and 1970s children's TV. Brilliant.
I also love the alternate song titles that harkens back to Victorian playbills for music halls and the "Moralistic" songs featured there.
Reading over the WIKIPEDIA page for the album, Radiohead later disliked the album for a variety of reasons, but I don't agree with them.
Without really paying much attention to the lyrics or even the song titles, the album has an urgency, a tension, high anxiety that was present in previous Radiohead work but reaches an apex here.
This album and the others released since have helped me through this week in our new LIFE IN HELL.
Yorke's lyrics were influenced by what he called "the general sense of ignorance and intolerance and panic and stupidity" following the 2000 election of the US president George W. Bush.[20] He took words and phrases from discourse around the unfolding war on terror, which he described as Orwellian euphemisms, and used them in the lyrics and artwork.[2] Yorke said the "emotional context of those words had been taken away" and that he was "stealing it back".[2] Though Yorke denied any intent to make a political statement,[2] he said: "I desperately tried not to write anything political, anything expressing the deep, profound terror I'm living with day to day. But it's just fucking there, and eventually you have to give it up and let it happen."[23]
Yorke, a new father, adopted a strategy of "distilling" the political themes into "childlike simplicity".[20] He took phrases from fairy tales and folklore such as the tale of Chicken Little,[4] and from children's literature and television he shared with his son, such as the 1970s TV series Bagpuss.[3] Parenthood made Yorke concerned about the condition of the world and how it could affect future generations.[24] Greenwood said Yorke's lyrics embraced sarcasm, wit and ambiguity,[25] and expressed "confusion and escape, like 'I'm going to stay at home and look after the people I care about, buy a month's supply of food'."[19]
Yorke also took phrases from Dante's Inferno, the subject of his partner Rachel Owen's PhD thesis.[26] Several songs, such as "2 + 2 = 5", "Sit Down Stand Up", and "Sail to the Moon", reference Christian ideas of heaven and hell, a first for Radiohead's music.[27] Other songs reference science fiction, horror and fantasy, such as the wolves and vampires of "A Wolf at the Door" and "We Suck Young Blood", the reference to the slogan "two plus two equals five" in the dystopian novel Nineteen Eighty-Four, and the allusion to the giant of Gulliver's Travels in "Go to Sleep".[28]
The phrase "hail to the thief" was used by protesters during the controversy surrounding the 2000 US presidential election.
Radiohead struggled to choose a title.[3] They considered using The Gloaming (meaning "twilight" or "dusk"), but this was rejected as too poetic[29] and "doomy"[2] and so became the album's subtitle.[30] They also considered the titles Little Man Being Erased, The Boney King of Nowhere and Snakes and Ladders, which became the alternative titles for "Go to Sleep", "There There" and "Sit Down. Stand Up".[4][12] The use of alternative titles was inspired by Victorian playbills showcasing moralistic songs played in music halls.[25]
The phrase "hail to the thief" was used by anti-Bush protesters as a play on "Hail to the Chief", the American presidential anthem.[31] Yorke described hearing the phrase for the first time as a "formative moment".[2] Radiohead chose the title partly in reference to Bush,[32] but also in response to "the rise of doublethink and general intolerance and madness ... like individuals were totally out of control of the situation ... a manifestation of something not really human".[3] The title also references the leak of an unfinished version of the album before its release.[25] Yorke worried that it would be misconstrued solely as reference to the US election, but his bandmates felt it "conjured up all the nonsense and absurdity and jubilation of the times".[2]
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2411.11 - 10:10
- Days ago: MOM = 3419 days ago & DAD = 075 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.