A Sense of Doubt blog post #4021 - Letter to Dad #23 - The Numbers with Ellory Queen

Ellory Queen at vet 2511.19

A Sense of Doubt blog post #4021 - Letter to Dad #23 - The Numbers with Ellory Queen

Hi Dad,

I am writing this post the day before the 19th because this morning (Thursday the 19th) I have a very special interview for my counseling internship and field experience.

I felt it was time to share a post dedicated to Ellory as I have been meaning to write down the nightly rituals. I thought I had transcribed these before but maybe I have not.

I love these pictures of Ellory and spent a lot of time choosing the featured one that I am sharing up top. That's a good picture of Ellory, and she's happy even though she's at the vet.

BY THE WAY, her nose looks a lot better now as can be seen in the first two photos below. Compared to the October photos below that, her nose has really improved. The nose thing is due to her puppy Lupus.

Every night, I talk to Ellory and tell her things I call "The Numbers." And then when I turn out the light, I have a special goodnight series of things I say.

THE NUMBERS 

These are four items that I say to Ellory every night in an effort to help her with her anxiety. Sometimes I abbreviate the numbers and sometimes I do the "full version" of the numbers. But I always snuggle in with Ellory and give her tons of kisses as I recite four numbers.

I am sharing these with you, reader, in third person. But I do not say "Ellory is my baby" to Ellory, (well sometimes, I do, actually), instead I say "you are my baby." I kind of mix together second-person (you) and third person (Ellory, her) in my recitation of the numbers.

NUMBER ONE: Ellory is my Baby. I will never call another dog my baby. Even if we get a younger dog (and we did, Essel), Ellory will remain my baby. And in the future, when there are other dogs, they will have other pet names but none will be "baby" or "baby girl."

Ellory is my baby because she is so special (though I say "her is so special" because that's how I talk to the dogs). Ellory is the most earnest, genuine, sincere, loyal dog I have ever known. She is also VERY sensitive. Ellory is an empath. She senses things that no one else does, ghosts and other dimensional beings.

Also, Ellory is my baby because she is SO GOOD. She's a good girl. She's a good dog. Just the best DOG. Really.

And being good is very important to Ellory.

That's number one.

NUMBER TWO: Number Two is that this room (our bedroom) is Ellory's safe space. It's where she comes to be safe. Nothing bad can happen to Ellory in this room. She is safe here. She has a bed in the closet that no one else uses; it's just for Ellory. (Though often I say JUST FOR ELLORYS as I do in number one, also, referring to Ellory as a plural because I am weird). I did catch Satchel in Ellory's closet bed in the night ONCE recently but generally it is JUST FOR ELLORY. She also has the nest of comforters on the bed. This is her safe room. It's also where she goes for alone time, though she often shares the bed (not the closet one) with Essel and rarely Satchel, during the day, though always at night.

That's number two: NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN TO ELLORY IN THIS ROOM. Her is safe here.

NUMBER THREE: But Ellory is safe everywhere because Mom and I will always take care of her, protect her, and keep her safe.

And that's because of number four through gazillions and gazillions of numbers.

NUMBER FOUR: Number four is about how much we all love Ellory. Then I list all the people who love Ellory: family and friends, which, due to privacy, I will not repeat here. But after that list, which is sometimes the full list and sometimes just her Mom and Satchel Essel: Ellory have you noticed HOW MUCH Essel loves you? Essel REALLY loves you.

Then I take a moment to reflect with Ellory on her grandma and grandpa, my Mom and Dad. Ellory never met her grandma (my Mom) as she, Mom, died over a year (July 4, 2015) before Ellory was born (October 21, 2016), which I often explain to Ellory. But she knew her grandpa and she loved her grandpa and surely misses him, though I remind her that she will never see him again. And I tell her how much I miss them, and I let myself really feel it. Some nights that comes with  a few tears; other nights, none. But always FEELINGS. I let myself REALLY FEEL IT, how much I miss them, how much I really really really miss them, as I tell Ellory. Because Ellory is an empath, this outpouring of feeling often makes her uncomfortable and she tries to pull away from it.

THEN I conclude with how much I LOVE HER. So much! Whole bunches of bunches. To infinity and beyond, which is ridiculous because what could be beyond infinity? I love Ellory with my whole heart and more, which is also ridiculous because what could be MORE than my WHOLE HEART.

And then, as throughout, there's lots of kisses!

When it's late I do abbreviated numbers, but above is pretty much the full version of the numbers.

FINAL GOODNIGHT

When I turn out the lights, I always say the following no matter how late it is:

"Good night Puppy Dongles, Puppy Doodle Bugs. Dad Loves Ellory the Queen, Dad loves Satchel the Booness. Dad Loves Essel the Buttermilks. (And Dad loves the Noodler, said when Noodle is staying with us). And Dad loves the Mom, puppies, Dad loves the Mom very, very, very much. Good night puppies. But Dad loves you puppies because you're here with him. (Voice goes up on "him").

Dad, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVES puppies. Dad loves puppies!"

That's all, Big Guy.

I wanted a record of what I say each night.

I love my puppies so much just like how much I love you, Mom, and Lori.

Love,

christopher



Ellory post grooming 2601.09

My special Baby Girl Ellory Queen in the car outside the vet office 2512.23

The nest two pictures were taken 2510.30 when Ellory had stopped eating and drinking and I was freaking out!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2602.19 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3885 days ago & DAD = 539 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.