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A Sense of Doubt blog post #1788 - Passive Voice - How to find it and Eliminate it
In my continuing series of posts to my blog that serve double duty as both lessons for my students and my ongoing attempt to catch up and deliver daily content, here are my lessons for an online course on eliminating passive voice.
Enjoy.
Class,
One issue that has come up in many drafts is passive voice.
Here's a quick and easy way to deal with this problem in writing and why. First, the why.
Passive voice results from writing sentences in which the active agent is not performing the sentence's action.
For example,
The accident was caused by faulty brakes.
To make the sentence ACTIVE, you revise the sentence making sure the active agent performs the action:
Faulty brakes caused the accident.
Sometimes the active agent is not even named in the sentence:
Flight 107 was canceled.
So the fix requires adding the active agent.
The airline canceled Flight 107.
One easy way to root out passive voice: search for the "baby" verbs that usually signal passive voice: is/are, was/were.
Examine each sentence to determine if the sentence qualifies as passive voice.
Passive voice results in timid and meek writing, sentences that lack power and impact. Active voice writing jumps off the page much more effectively.
You will discover difficulty finding and/or eliminating passive voice. We use it a lot. I had to rewrite the first sentence that I had originally written in passive voice. It's natural. See? There it is.
Like the last two sentences, both of which use the “to be” verbs, which are a sign of passive voice.
Once a writer understands the concepts, she should find writing in active voice easier. I tried to make the previous sentence, though the passive form a bit active by eliminating the phrase “is easier.”
Eliminating passive voice applied as a general principle will improve your writing; however, use your judgement. In some cases, a “to be” verb is necessary, like in this sentence. :-) I could have written the sentence differently because maybe the "to be" verb is not necessary, just easier. I could have written: sometimes a writer must use a “to be” verb. Is that clearer?
BABY VERBS
The baby verbs thing is a hold over from the old days of my very first college writing course.
I have repeated the wisdom of that instructor ever since.
Though rooting out "baby verbs" works to some extent, the method is not fool proof. See? There's a baby verb. OOps, and another and in a contraction! OH my. This is not working at all. Egads. I did it again.
Sometimes, writing requires baby verbs. And sometimes I can write without them. I could have written something like "writing is better with baby verbs," but then I re-thought that idea and wrote "writing requires baby verbs," which is a stronger sentence. BUT use of "is" to say that seems necessary, right?
Infuse sentences with as much action as possible. That's your goal as a writer.
Oh damn. I just broke another "rule." Did you catch it?
STUDENT QUESTION: Are there other ways to find passive voice other than just baby verbs?
Baby verbs are the first step in the hunt. So, that sentence I just wrote is passive voice. See it?
There's no active agent.
A student should search for baby verbs as the first step.
Search for baby verbs as the first step.
In revising one's work, an author may first wish to hunt for baby verbs and expunge the text of passive voice.
See the difference?
To find other instances, read sentences and see if the subject who should be performing the action is performing the action.
You might see compound past with different baby verbs:
The van had been wrecked by Tracy.
"had been wrecked" - ugh
Tracy wrecked the van.
Mostly, passive voice will always be signaled with some kind of baby verb.
Another way to think of this issue follows. I call it THE WAS PHENOMENON.
"To be or not to be, that is the question, whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous sentences, or take up action verbs against a scene or passive sentences and by opposing end them."
Many writers rely on the "to be" verbs too often. These verbs create an effect known as passive voice. Passive voice weakens otherwise good, strong writing. Sometimes writers use "to be" verbs properly: to describe states of being: "to be or not to be" or "I think therefore I am." But more often than not writers misuse "to be" in place of stronger, more active verbs. These inactive verbs can usually be replaced with more active verbs.
EXAMPLES
PASSIVE: The terrified Man-bat was saved by the Batman.
ACTIVE: Batman saved the terrified Man-bat.
UGH: It was voted by the Bruised Cockatoos Freedom Coalition that all men with long hair should be called Bruce.
GROOVY: The BCFC voted that all men with long hair should be called Bruce.
YUK: Implants were purchased by inguinal-minded men.
WAY-COOL: Inguinal-minded men purchased implants.
Cute image and text below followed by a link with even more worthwhile passive voice content.
Another True Love Meme
Suggested Reading: The Passive Voice Explained
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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2001.10 - 10:10
- Days ago = 1651 days ago
- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I plan to continue Hey Mom posts at least twice per week but will continue to post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.
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