Hi Mom,
I was low.
Now, I am not.
I had wanted to make this post with a photo I have of myself from my K-College days in front of a poster of David Bowie's Low, but I think the photo is back in Michigan on photo paper and that I don't have a digital copy of it. So, maybe some day.
This post and its subject seems appropriate for post #900.
I have undergone a transformation.
I was low. For all its wonder and beauty and excitement, the move out west was a struggle for me, and given that I work at home, I struggled.
But my trip back to Michigan transformed me. Spending time with family and friends lifted my spirits and shed my burdens and anxieties. I came back home to Washington feeling lighter, feeling love, feeling great positivity and optimism. Don't get me wrong. There's love here, too. But I needed to step away from our life here and to get perspective. I also needed more closure for my life in Kalamazoo. I found those things. I could literally feel the heaviness lift off of me about halfway through my stay in Michigan. I felt as if I was uplifted into the air: levitating.
This transformation began here in Portland where Liesel and I attended a lecture on Jungian psychology shortly before I flew back to Michigan. I still need to write a post about that lecture (so stay tuned).
This is my best and brief sharing of my emotional state right now. I am still marveling at it. I am sure it will continue to unravel and reveal new truths as I reflect on it.
In a sense, Mom, this feeling of lightness is what your spirit provides me, though I have an abundant share of it in reality, though I have to think that it's because of you, because of the person I am that owes its greatest allegiance to you and how you helped to shape me.
I am lighter than air, and I am surrounded by love.
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Reflect and connect.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
I miss you so very much, Mom.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
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- Days ago = 902 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1712.22 - 10:10
NEW (written 1708.27) NOTE on time: I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of your death, Mom, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of your death, Mom. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom.
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