A Sense of Doubt blog post #3986 - Letter to Dad #18 - The Orange Tie

A Sense of Doubt blog post #3986 - Letter to Dad #18 - The Orange Tie

Hi Dad, I haven't written to you in two weeks. I skipped last week because the Thursday for the letter fell on David Bowie's birthday. I considered posting on a different day but chose not to so as to post about Bowie every day last week in "Bowie Week," though for me this is Bowie Month.

David Bowie died ten years ago this year (January 10th, 2016).

I have been planning to write this post for some time. I want to tell the story of the orange tie.

Here's where the tie lives (below). I have not worn it except for the picture above AND on the day of your memorials (the one at the church and the one the next day at Friendship Village).

See? I have a little shrine to you, Dad, next to the one for Mom amidst my TO READ book case. Yes, none of those books have been read.

I know that red is your "color persona," Big Guy, and your favorite color. But you also loved orange and decorated our West Gull Lake Drive house with it (carpets, chairs, curtains).

And so, back in the 1970s, Mom gave you an orange tie as a present. You loved that tie.

You lent it to me for a debate tournament. I felt so proud to wear your tie. I felt like you. Channeling you. I met a girl who liked me a lot. I don't remember her name, but I am going to call her Brianna. After the tournament I took her home, and we went down to her rec room in the basement and started making out. In the throes of passion, she took off my tie and tossed it onto the floor. 

But then her father came home, and she did not want us to get caught making out, I was hustled out a back entrance, and in our haste, I did not retrieve your favorite tie.

I never saw the girl again. I am not sure if I didn't have her phone number? Didn't know her last name? I knew where she lived and I knew what school she attended. I liked making out with her, so I am not sure why I did not see her again and get your tie. Even at other debate tournaments? I would think I would have seen her again.

Or at least that's how I remember it. Maybe I did call her. I don't remember.

But I do know that I never got back your tie.

Many years later, I picked out some fabric and had someone make you an orange tie. That's the one in the pictures above. It was not the exact same tie. The color was not exactly the same. The original was more of a burnt orange, a closer to match to the burnt orange in the house. But it's the best I could do.

I am sorry, Big Guy.

This incident is just another puzzle among many for why I did not continue to see a girl I really liked. I wish I remembered why.

Then again, she could have made an effort to get the tie back to me, too.

On the topic of using your stuff, I may not ever wear this tie again. Some of your stuff I can use, and other stuff, I just cannot. Feels wrong.

I love you, Dad.

I will write again next week.

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- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 2601.15 - 10:10

- Days ago: MOM = 3849 days ago & DAD = 504 days ago

- New note - On 1807.06, I ceased daily transmission of my Hey Mom feature after three years of daily conversations. I post Hey Mom blog entries on special occasions. I post the days since ("Days Ago") count on my blog each day, and now I have a second count for Days since my Dad died on August 28, 2024. I am now in the same time zone as Google! So, when I post at 10:10 a.m. PDT to coincide with the time of Mom's death, I am now actually posting late, so it's really 1:10 p.m. EDT. But I will continue to use the time stamp of 10:10 a.m. to remember the time of her death and sometimes 13:40 EDT for the time of Dad's death. The blog entry numbering in the title has changed to reflect total Sense of Doubt posts since I began the blog on 0705.04, which include Hey Mom posts, Daily Bowie posts, and Sense of Doubt posts. Hey Mom posts will still be numbered sequentially. New Hey Mom posts will use the same format as all the other Hey Mom posts; all other posts will feature this format seen here.