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| Mom and Dad - 39th wedding anniversary - 1997 |
Hi Mom,
I have missed our conversations in the last 382 days (and a few more since you were not so conversant near the end), and I have gotten away from the purpose for this blog, which is continuing those conversations.
So, today, on the Throwback Thursday, here's the news that is news. Here's what's going on and coming up.
The photo above will be 20 years old next year; next month, you would have celebrated your 58th wedding anniversary (August 16th), which is the same day as I acknowledge my cancer surgery.
So these assorted things that are happening are in no apparent order, much like our conversations.Liesel and I went out to dinner last night and after trying to get in two different places we ended up at the Texas Corners Brewing Company and had a terrible meal, which is a shame because last summer it was one of our new favorite restaurants.
Liesel took a lamp to work for her desk, and I have to bring her a new bulb this morning.
It may be interesting to note that there are things I would share with you on the phone that I will not put in writing and publish to my blog. But I still tell you those things in my head, through my spirit.
The chickens need a new ramp for their coop, so we're getting one made. Paul Abueva should be over some time soon to measure. We're still waiting on our new awning, which I was hoping would get installed this week. The gas line for the new grill gets put in next Thursday.
I checked out two books on grief from the library last year around this time. I have to take them back today as they are due and I cannot renew them. I have never read them, but they look good. I skimmed the tables of contents. Maybe when I return them, I will check out new ones. There are other books on grief.
For record keeping or in case I want to go back and get them again, they are as follows
Grief and its Challenges by Neil Thompson. 2012 - BF 575 .G7 T49
The Truth About Grief - The Myth of Its Five Stages and the New Science of Loss
by Ruth Davis Konigsberg - 2011 - BF 575 .G7 K638
The second book seems interesting as it argues against the five stages of grief. I like the term "disbelief" better than "denial" because it's not like I denied that you are dead, Mom, but it's more like I struggled to believe it, and I did not want it to be true. Likewise, bargaining was more like negotiating, which I see as somewhat different but those words are probably close enough. And I think "acceptance" as magical goal is over-rated. I still have not "accepted" it. I still don't want it to be true, your death, you gone. But I know it is true, and I go on. Maybe one of the stages should be functioning, going on, survival. something like that.
On to other subjects.
After weeks of putting off a Meijer trip, one is imminent. Possibly tomorrow. The list is quite huge. I am not sure I can afford it all. I may suggest to Liesel that we go to the night market tonight. It's a Farmer's Market event!
I just noticed that my phone's ringer has been off since Tuesday night when I silenced it for the musical I was reviewing.
I am reading "Normal" by Warren Ellis. He's serializing this novella in weekly e-book installments for four weeks. It's about an asylum for burnt-out futurists. I also started The Avenue of Mysteries by John Irving. And there's the usual comic books. I was reading off my Kindle for a while but I tired of that. I much prefer actual paper bound books, so the Irving is a hard cover.
I have been working. I am a bit behind on the Whirlpool job, but I have been catching up on grading. I have more to do today and tomorrow, but I am in good shape to take a 20-mile morning ride tomorrow, which I have decided is a weekly thing.
A thunderstorm just passed through. I think the serious part is over. More rain, which means no watering the garden!
I want an ice cream cone. I bought a package of drumsticks with nuts.
I am cooking a pork loin in the crock pot and have to do the dishes, which I will do as I listen to more of The Fuller Memorandum by Charles Stross, which is my current audio book.
I need to do laundry.
Liesel needed light bulbs and her phone charger brought to her at work.
I know, exciting stuff, right? But such were our conversations. This is a pretty good facsimile minus some of the more personal stuff.
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Reflect and connect.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
I miss you so very much, Mom.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
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- Days ago = 382 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1607.21 - 10:10
NOTE on time: When I post late, I had been posting at 7:10 a.m. because Google is on Pacific Time, and so this is really 10:10 EDT. However, it still shows up on the blog in Pacific time. So, I am going to start posting at 10:10 a.m. Pacific time, intending this to be 10:10 Eastern time. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom. But I am not going back and changing all the 7:10 a.m. times. But I will run this note for a while. Mom, you know that I am posting at 10:10 a.m. often because this is the time of your death.
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| my best friend Tom circa 1990? |
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