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| Liesel and Piper Memorial Day 2016 |
Hi Mom,So, I had already decided to create this blog as a bit of a hybrid, a combination of pictures and reports on our lovely cook out on Memorial Day with Dad's new friend Faye Luscombe, and some thoughts that have been brewing in my mind on this blog and this blog feature. These thoughts were not fully crystallized yet (in fact, the crystals are still forming) when I found an email this morning from Chris O’Leary who writes the excellent “Pushing Ahead of the Dame” blog that I link to (and share content from) frequently in my The Daily Bowie features. His comments speak to blogging and captured one of my thoughts that I was trying to frame, and so I present the comments here:
In December 2009, I had been writing the blog for nearly half a year, at a steady pace. Readership was modest and comments were few—I imagine the majority of readers at the time were people who liked my old blog and wondered what the hell I was doing.
There’s an arc of inspiration when it comes to a sequential blog like this—initial burst of ambition and fleetness of movement; mild elation when the posts begin stacking up and you feel that the writing’s improved and that you’ve found the right tone; and the inevitable slackening of energy, “God, why am I doing this?,” inspired by a cold-eyed look at future obligations and knowing how much more unpaid work lies ahead of you.
So I likely would have given up around then had it not been for the wise choice to write about someone of whose early work I knew little, so that the blog was fueled by my curiosity as much as anything.
Yeah, what he said. :-)
Originally when I conceived this feature, I decided that I would run it like the T-shirts blog and end it after 365 entries, or at least cease the daily production of posts. Actually, my intention with the T-shirts blog was to return to it after ending the daily posts from time to time as there were several T-shirts that I never featured.
But recently my sister said to me that I could keep going with the blog if I wanted to. I mean, why not?
I had been stuck in a mindset because of what I did with the T-shirts blog. And I did not want to make such a public display of my grief that it seemed as if I was taking too long to "get over it."
And yet, this blog is more about me, Mom, than it is about you. It's about living my life. It's about providing content, even when I do not have original content to provide. Because, yeah, sometimes, maybe a bit too often, I either post other people's content (with credit, of course), or I re-post content from the T-shirt blog. In fact, a T-shirt post is due.
In my efforts to be disciplined and controlled, I set the year deadline (which dawns on July 6th as I started the blog two days after you died, Mom) and kept announcing that I would cease daily transmission then. But with T-shirts, I started a countdown. I also tried to take a blogging vacation while still posting. It's not easy to get something of value posted every day. The "of value" descriptor is really the catch there. I try to create value, and at least with this blog and this feature, I have an easier time as I don't have to have a picture of myself in a T-shirt.
But... I don't think I want to stop then. Maybe I will. When I get there and then, I will assess. But I might want to keep going and quit when it feels right or when I really get to busy (like in the Fall). Perhaps I will taper off. Let myself off the hook for the daily posts. Or not. I like the daily posts.
The lack of impetus provided by the push for daily posting is why I blogged so sporadically after I ceased daily transmission with T-shirts. I like that daily pressure. I am not always successful. I have been known to be one, two, three, um... five days behind with posts. I think five days with no posts was my worst stretch. I have solved some problems that caused that lapse in posting. But the daily pressure keeps my head in the game, keeps me focused on having to produce something, keeps looking around for content either someone else's to share or a way to generate some of my own original content. It's likely that I will continue through the summer and then taper off as I start to get busy with Fall work but, then again, I managed to blog all through this last fall semester, and in some ways I was even busier in the winter.
I feel that this blog is about living. It's about my life. It's an extension of me. It's not always a display of grief. Though there are posts that I wanted to create that I have not yet created that are related to your death, your Memorial Service, the condolences passed on to us for you.
So, Mom, I know you are happy with whatever I do. You get my desire to hang on but also see my efforts to let go.
Those who read this blog, all two of you, thank you. I try to provide you some interesting content every week. I try to share good value, good content, for all of you, all two of you, every week. I think I do all right.
But even doing all right, I am closing the book on this blog entry on June first but won't post it until June 2nd. :-)
Stay tuned and thanks for reading.
Reflect and connect.
Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.
Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.
All photos of our Memorial Day cookout and boat ride at the home of Dad's new friend Faye Luscombe. Some photos by me, some by Liesel, some by Dad.
It was a very, very good day. I felt your spirit there with us, Mom, and you were smiling.
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- Days ago = 332 days ago
- Bloggery committed by chris tower - date - time
NOTE on time: When I post late, I had been posting at 7:10 a.m. because Google is on Pacific Time, and so this is really 10:10 EDT. However, it still shows up on the blog in Pacific time. So, I am going to start posting at 10:10 a.m. Pacific time, intending this to be 10:10 Eastern time. I know this only matters to me, and to you, Mom. But I am not going back and changing all the 7:10 a.m. times. But I will run this note for a while. Mom, you know that I am posting at 10:10 a.m. often because this is the time of your death.
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