Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #68 - The Twilight Zone

Hey, Mom! Talking to My Mother #68 - The Twilight Zone

Hi Mom,

I have random things to share today. I will go through them in no particular order.

I am still behind on the unfinished or "under construction" posts I made so as to keep up with my date and time stamp for each day. I could cheat and back date them. I think I figured out how to do that during the t-shirts year. But I would rather post incomplete entries and finish them as time permits. I don't think anyone is watching my blog so closely that this is noticed. If you readers are out there who do notice, drop me a comment. I don't post to Twitter and Facebook until the entry is finished, and since that's how most people find out about it, I feel safe.

Yesterday was the first day I jumped over those unfinished entries and posted yesterday's entry. Now the posts as they go to Twitter and Facebook will be out of sequence. I am okay with this result.

I had Ample Pantry for dinner. Dad still has dinners on the gift certificate I gave you for Mother's Day. Just another thing that he has to finish by himself now that you're gone.

I had a busy day: massage, lunch with a friend. hair cut, finished grades this morning, Satchel to Camp Fido, bought dog food, bought comic books, picked up my suit from dry cleaning, picked up Ample Pantry, fetched Satchel from Camp Fido. And now, I should be working, but then, I always should be working.

Cindy and Susan both say hi to you from Continental. I will get my picture taken there some day to feature here as I am going there, in part, as tribute to you.

I should get back to work.

I have tennis on the TV. Liesel did not realize that I like to watch the U.S. Open. Maybe I had not shared this with her yet in our marriage.

I am tired.

I had a weird dream about John Locke and a spinning coaster he had. He was obsessed with eating croutons and crostini. I should text him to share.

I should be working. I am trying to stay up a bit later with Liesel gone, but I got up so early that I am not sure if I can work too late.

At lunch, today, I was trying to explain how I feel, now, two months after you died. Yes, I did notice when the two month anniversary came, but let it go by unremarked.
I had been saying that I am still in the state of disbelief.
But I think that's changing. I am starting to get used to the idea of you being dead. Notice I write dead and not gone. I do not believe you are gone. I believe you are right here with me. With such a strong sense of you here, I feel I need to keep talking about you in present tense because, well, after all, you are here, right here.

Quite a while ago, probably back in either late July or early August, I conceived this post because I felt like I was living in the Twilight Zone. I felt like I was living in another dimension, which I have dreamt about. It's like this episode of the Twilight Zone.

The Twilight Zone: Season 4, Episode 11

The Parallel (14 Mar. 1963)

Click link above for IMDB.

LINK TO VIEW THE EPISODE

Astronaut Robert Gaines returns from space to a world that is not exactly the one he left from.

I feel like this. I am in some world, but it's not the right world because you're not in it, Mom.

But what I started to realize today is that this wrong world, this alternate universe, is starting to feel normal, to feel right.

I don't want it to be the normal. I don't want it to be right.

Have someone give you a kiss, and tell you that I love you.

Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.

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- Days ago = 69 days ago

- Bloggery committed by chris tower - 1509.11 - 20:27